


Five Years Later

by NotTilItsFinished (Pyrate0804)



Series: So Klingt Liebe [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Abby Griffin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bonus Chapter, Cancer, Dubious Science, Established Relationship, F/F, Face-Sitting, Fingering, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Modern Omegaverse, Omega Raven Reyes, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Scissoring, Surgery, sexual healing, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 57,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyrate0804/pseuds/NotTilItsFinished
Summary: A snapshot of Abby and Raven's life together in the 'So Klingt Liebe' universe...
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Raven Reyes, Anya/Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Kyle Wick/Emori
Series: So Klingt Liebe [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1269260
Comments: 30
Kudos: 49





	1. The Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Well here it is friends, the next, and unfortunately, probably last, installment in the 'So Klingt Liebe' story. Over the next four chapters, I'm sure there will be some laughing, and some crying, and some other feelings too, but I hope you enjoy every second of it. I've certainly enjoyed writing it. This was actually only supposed to be three chapters, but I guess my imagination just got away from me a little bit.
> 
> Hint: Be sure to check the tags... just so you know what you're getting yourselves into with this one.

With their sixth anniversary only a few weeks away, Abby decided to plan an evening out so that she and Raven could celebrate; no work calls, no kids, no distractions. The first step in that plan was convincing Clarke and Lexa to keep the boys overnight, so that she and Raven could go out and have a good time without worrying. It didn’t take much to talk them into it either; all Abby had to do was promise to return the favor the following weekend so Clarke and Lexa could celebrate their anniversary too.

Next, Abby got reservations at Marco’s, because despite their first disastrous double-date there, the restaurant had become one of their favorites. The menu was classy without being pretentious or overly expensive, and their wine selection was pretty extensive too. It seemed that Marco only hired seasoned waitstaff as well, meaning Abby and Raven always got excellent service when they ate there. The bathroom had a few nice memories too; namely, the time that Raven had misjudged the beginning of her heat and had ended up dragging Abby into the family-sized restroom and locking the door behind them.

After their celebratory dinner, they could go dancing, or go for a walk, or just go home; Abby was going to leave that part up to Raven. Part of Abby hoped that Raven would be eager to spend some time alone, but if Raven wanted to go dancing, Abby certainly wouldn’t be disappointed, especially when she got to have Raven’s body pressed against her own anyway. Either way, she’d booked a car to drive them around, so neither one of them would have to be the designated driver.

As plans go, Abby knew it was solid, and for the most part, the night went off without a hitch. With her reservation, Abby managed to get them a table in the more private of Marco’s two dining rooms. It was a much more intimate, romantic setting than the front room, with only six tables spread out over the entire space. They were far enough from their neighbors that Abby couldn’t even hear the conversations going on around her. Not that she wanted to know what little Billy had done at school that week, or whose teenager was having sex with who, but just the simple fact that she didn’t have to tune those things out was a blessing.

Obviously, when she was with Raven, it didn’t really matter what was going on around them. Whether they were alone or in the middle of a crowd, Raven always seemed to take up all of Abby’s attention. The outfit that Raven had chosen for the evening was certainly mesmerizing; Abby couldn’t help focusing on it all throughout their meal. The low-cut dress showed off an impressive amount of skin, and where it covered, the fabric clung to Raven’s frame like it was painted on. As such, Abby could clearly see Raven’s muscles slithering under the fabric every time she even so much a shifted in her chair.

And, if that wasn’t enough, Raven’s smile was wide and bright the whole meal, drawing Abby in like a moth to a flame. The bottle of wine that they shared made Abby feel warm too, but that tipsy euphoria had nothing on the way being with Raven made her feel. Even after their rocky start, even after six years of dinners and dancing and diaper changing, Abby had never felt more in love. What she’d shared with Jake all those years ago was still special to her, and she saw that connection every time she looked at Clarke, but what she had with Raven was beyond all that; beyond reason, beyond fate, beyond life and death. That belief was tested that night though; once they got home, a lot more than that was tested.

The second they were through the front door, Raven was already crowding into Abby’s space, whispering into the back of her neck, “take me to bed?” Before she could really think about what she was doing, Abby scooped Raven up into her arms and started up the stairs. Of course, she hadn’t carried Raven like that in quite a while, so by the time they reached the second landing, Abby’s strength was waning. She managed to make it all the way into their bedroom before she had to set Raven down, but she knew that she’d be feeling that strain the next day. At fifty-one years _young_ , Abby had a feeling she’d be sore the next day no matter what she did. Raven didn’t seem to notice her grimace though; if anything, it seemed that Raven took the time apart to come up with a plan of her own.

In a blink, Raven’s dress was a in pool on the floor, unveiling creamy, caramel skin and some paper-thin lace. Of course, Raven’s brace was still firmly in place, but that was only for the moment. Abby’s brain was still struggling to catch up to the sudden shift, so she basically just stared as Raven made her way over to their bed and slipped off the brace with practiced ease. Abby snapped out of her stupor soon enough though, when Raven crooked a single finger in her direction, beckoning her towards the bed.

Then, Abby was stumbling out of her shoes as fast as she could go, even while her shaky fingers went to work on her blouse. When the shirt fell from her shoulders, Abby immediately started stripping off her slacks as well, wanting nothing more than to feel Raven’s skin sliding against her own. That was as far as she got before Raven was pulling her down onto the bed, but Abby certainly wasn’t going to complain; not when she could feel just how hot Raven was, even with the lacy layers that still separated them.

From there, it was all hands roaming, and lips kissing, and teeth nipping, until they were both completely bare. Raven’s lacy thong ended up being the last thing to go, and as Abby pulled that down with her teeth, she was treated to one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. Raven was already so wet she was practically dripping with arousal, and her clit was so swollen it was already peeking out from under its hood. Abby could see Raven’s clit twitching against the empty air too, silently begging for her touch.

Naturally, Raven was anything but silent herself, moaning in approval when Abby eventually dipped down to take that swollen bundle of nerves in between her lips. With years of practice, Abby knew the exact right pressure to use to make Raven come quickly, but she drew it out as long as she could instead, teasing Raven to edge more than once, before tipping her over. At that point, Raven’s noises became downright pornographic, all husky whispers and sharp cries and deep, guttural groans, and Abby took in each sound like it was something precious, something to be cherished and encouraged. As a matter of fact, Abby stayed settled in between Raven’s thighs until it seemed like she’d drawn every single sound she could from Raven’s throat.

Only once Raven was squirming and pushing against the top of her head, did Abby even think about letting up, but even then, she just redirected her attention to other, less-sensitive parts of Raven’s body. First, she placed a few kisses along the semi-smooth expanse of Raven’s belly, relishing in every stretch mark Raven had gained while she’d been pregnant with the twins. Then, Abby worshipped at the altar of Raven’s breasts, dusting them with a few soft kisses as well. She lingered over Raven’s collarbone for a few minutes too, leaving a line of love bites in her wake.

By the time she made her way up to Raven’s lips, Raven seemed to have caught her breath, so Abby was then treated to Raven absolutely ravaging her mouth. With tongues tangled together and limbs overlapping, Abby thought she could come from just that simple contact alone, but it wasn’t long before Abby’s world tilted anyway; both, literally and figuratively. Once Raven rolled her over onto her back, Abby’s whole existence came into question, threatened by a little lump that hadn’t been there only a few days before.

At first, Abby almost didn’t believe her, when Raven pulled away from her breast and said, “Abby, there’s… I think there’s a lump,” but when Raven guided her hand over the area in question, there wasn’t a single doubt left in Abby’s mind. The ‘lump’ was about an inch in diameter, just the left of her left nipple, and even though she wasn’t an oncologist, Abby knew enough. A tumor that grew that rapidly had a much higher chance of being cancerous.

Wrapped in Raven’s arms, in the middle of the night, there wasn’t a damn thing to be done about that though, so Abby tried her best to get Raven to keep going, eventually cupping Raven’s cheek and saying, “It’s alright… just— I need you… please…” There was more than a hint of desperation in her voice, but Abby didn’t care; not when Raven immediately returned to her task, with a fervor that was almost frightening.

All at once, Raven’s touch seemed to be everywhere, overwhelming Abby in the best way possible. Strong, calloused fingers quickly surrounded her clit and immediately began stroking her towards release, but it wasn’t until Abby felt slightly chapped lips press against her own that she allowed herself to relax long enough to reach the finish line. Still, she only managed a few seconds of peace, before the worry started to seep back in, making her want to cry before she’d even come down.

As if she could sense the shift, Raven nuzzled into the side of her throat and whined, so Abby pushed past her instinct to cry, and said, “I know you’re scared, but there’s nothing we can do about it tonight… Let’s just try to get some sleep.”

Thankfully, Raven didn’t press the issue; at least, not until the next morning, when she cornered Abby in the kitchen, and said, “So, are you gonna call and make an appointment, or you do need me to?”

It was a bit of a strange gesture, but Abby couldn’t deny how sweet it was either. Raven was willing to help with even the simplest step in the diagnostic process, and that told Abby that Raven would be invaluable later on; like when Abby needed someone to shave her head so she wouldn’t have to watch her hair fall out on its own, or when her needs became so urgent that she needed help getting to bathroom on time. Abby could on hope that Raven would still be there when her body was ravaged even further; when a surgeon eventually removed the tumor, and probably, both her breasts along with it.

When that thought struck her, Abby was thankful Raven was there in that moment too, because before she could even utter a single word, she started to break down. Tears were streaming down her face in no time, and her breath caught in her chest every time she tried to calm herself down. Raven just held her through the whole thing though, murmuring words of love and reassurance into her neck and rubbing soothing circles over her back.

Even with all that reinforcement, Abby needed help getting back upstairs to their bedroom; there was no way she could work feeling like she did. Once Abby was settled under the covers, Raven stepped away to make some calls. Still dazed, Abby barely registered the words that were said, but she recognized the agitated tone in Clarke’s voice when it came through her phone’s speaker. She heard the business-like cadence of the secretary at her doctor’s office too, and then, the easy-going timbre of Lincoln’s voice. If Abby had been in her right mind, it would have seemed odd that Raven called Lincoln instead of Bellamy or Kyle, but in her current state, Abby simply couldn’t put that much thought into it.

By the time Raven joined her in the bed, Abby had actually managed to stop crying, but when Raven whispered, “Dr. Snider can see us at four, if you think you’re up to it,” Abby lost it all over again. It was another half-hour before she got control over herself once more, but even then, she only managed to stem the stream running down her cheeks; catching her breath was a whole other story. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to take a full breath; at least, not without choking on it. This _weight_ had settled into her skin, into her breast, and it seemed that no amount of strength could lift it.

Cuddling in bed for most of the day helped, but once they got to Dr. Snider’s office, only the steady grip of Raven’s hand on her own kept Abby from crying all over the waiting room. That weight from earlier had returned with a vengeance, and Abby worried that she might actually cave under the pressure. Thankfully, Raven’s grounding grip didn’t loosen until the nurse ducked back out of the room, leaving Abby with instructions to remove the top half of her clothes and put on a gown. Even then, Raven’s touch didn’t leave her for long, her hands simply finding Abby’s waist instead, keeping her upright as she went through the motions of taking of her shirt and bra. Then, Raven’s hands drifted down onto her hips as she slipped on the cloth gown that the nurse had left for her.

With nothing left to do but wait, Abby moved over to the exam table, Raven trailing along behind her. Once she was seated, Raven’s fingers slipped back in between her own, and Abby sighed as Raven gave her a good squeeze. That was a mistake though, because the second she relaxed, tears started to stream down her face again. Raven noticed immediately, and reached over to grab some tissues, drying Abby’s face before her tears even had the chance to reach her jaw. Abby was grateful though, because only a few moments later, a soft knock sounded out into the room.

The door edged open just a bit then, and a voice came through the opening, asking, “All set?” Dr. Snider barely waited for Abby’s confirmation before she came in, followed closely by the same nurse as before. She didn’t waste time getting to the point either, as she continued, “Dr. Griffin, it says here that you found a mass?” Dr. Snider referenced the laptop in her arms, looking down at it as she continued, “In your left breast, correct?”

When she’d first met Dr. Sider, Abby had been a little put off by her rapid-fire nature, but in moments like these, she found she appreciated the bluntness. Cutting right to the point would just move everything along that much faster, so Abby shot her answer back as she said, “Yes, an inch inferior to the areola.”

A brief smile drifted over Dr. Snider’s face at that, but she didn’t seem amused; if anything, the smile was almost a grimace. Still, she didn’t miss a beat as she responded, setting her laptop down on the counter as she said, “Then, let’s take some pictures and see what we’re dealing with.” The nurse gestured to Raven, offering to escort her out of the room, but Raven turned to press a soft kiss to Abby’s forehead before she drifted away towards the door.

After that, the next few minutes were a bit a blur. The weight on Abby’s chest grew even heavier as she donned a lead tunic, and then, there was that horrible pressure, squeezing Abby so hard it stole her breath. She’d had a mammogram before, once, a year earlier, but for some reason, knowing that there was something there to be found seemed to make the pressure hurt that much more. Abby didn’t want to, but she relented to an examination over her other breast too, Dr. Snider suggesting it, _‘just to be sure.’_

By the time that side was done, Abby was crying again, but thankfully, Raven rushed back into the room, helping her pick up her pieces all over again. Dr. Snider and her nurse stepped out soon after, leaving them alone so Abby could get redressed, but for a few minutes she and Raven just sat there, cuddling into each other for comfort. When Raven finally pulled back, Abby was still shaking so hard that she had to have help getting her bra hooked against her back. Raven ended up helping her rebutton her shirt as well, as Abby just couldn’t make her own fingers do the work.

Another ten minutes passed before Dr. Snider came back, knocking again before she pushed her way inside. There was no hint of a smile this time, only a solemn expression, one filled with regret. From just that one look, Abby knew what was coming next, but it still felt like a slap to the face when Dr. Snider finally said, “There is a mass…” Her words trailed off as she pulled something up on her laptop, but once she turned the screen towards Abby, she added, “I’ve highlighted the structure here. As you can see, it’s roughly the size a grape.” Dr. Snider paused again, as she handed the laptop over to Abby, but before long, she continued, saying, “We’ll need to do a biopsy before we can talk about treatment options…”

If Dr. Snider said anything else after that, Abby didn’t hear her. She couldn’t seem to sense anything past the laptop screen staring back at her. Most of the image there was cast in varying shades of gray, but just left of the center was a glowing green orb. Abby nearly choked out a laugh when she thought that it almost looked like a grape, but the sound got caught in her throat, coming out more like a ragged cough instead.

Raven’s free hand made its way up Abby’s back then, soothing her little coughing fit, but the touch barely scraped the surface of the cause behind it. Even so, just feeling the heat of Raven’s palm brushing over her shirt was enough to help Abby focus, cluing her in as Dr. Snider concluded, “We’re not set up to do the procedure today, but I’m sure we can get you in first thing tomorrow.”

A new sense of dread settled in then, as Raven asked, “And, how long before you get the results?” because Abby already knew the answer. They were looking at three days of waiting, if not four. That meant at least three more restless days, and two more sleepless nights, and one absolutely horrendous conclusion waiting for them at the end. They would deal with it, of course; they could handle anything, as long as they were together, but Abby still wasn’t looking forward to the agony that the next few days would bring.

Naturally, Dr. Snider told Raven as much, her voice sounding more and more comforting as she said, “With how aggressive this mass seems, I’ll make sure that the lab understands how urgent the situation is… It’ll be three days, at most.” Dr. Snider escorted them towards the front desk then, but when Raven offered to handle the scheduling of her biopsy, Abby started to make her way towards the car. She felt awkward enough having to walk through the waiting room with tear stains still on her cheeks; the concerned looks she got from some of the other patients just made that feeling spread like wildfire. Abby wasn’t usually bothered by showing her emotions in public, but there was something about seeing the pity on their faces that made Abby want to run screaming from the room.

By the time Raven caught up to her, Abby was near tears all over again, right there on the sidewalk. The feeling of Raven’s fingers firmly intwining with her own calmed her, but still, all Abby could offer Raven was a sad smile in response. Raven simply gave her hand another squeeze, silently reassuring her, so Abby allowed herself to take the comfort for what it was, without being afraid of what was coming next. That respite only lasted until they got back to the car, but Abby was thankful for the reprieve, nonetheless; even if, it seemed like it was the last one she was going to get for a while.

~~~

Still coming down from her first orgasm of the night, Raven wasn’t sure she was feeling. Admittedly, she was a little preoccupied; Abby’s heaving chest was always something that distracted Raven, but when she clamped her lips around Abby’s left nipple, something firm and round pressed into her chin. She didn’t pull away immediately, thinking maybe she was imagining it, but then, Raven changed the angle of her mouth and found that firmness pressing up against her lower lip instead. She wanted to be sure though, so she opened her mouth wider and bit down, but when Abby’s flesh didn’t give under her teeth, Raven knew she had to say something.

At first, Abby didn’t seem to believe her either, but when Raven took Abby’s hand in her own and guided their fingers over that firm spot, understanding quickly dawned in Abby’s eyes. After that, Raven was a beyond surprised when Abby said she wanted to keep going, but in that moment, Raven wouldn’t have denied her mate anything. If Abby wanted to throw things and cry and scream, then Raven would be there clean up after; if Abby wanted to continue making love instead, Raven certainly wasn’t going to turn her down. In fact, Raven put everything she had into pleasing her mate, hoping to drive Abby so high that it took a while for her to come back down again. She was only marginally successful, pulling a quick climax from Abby’s body before they collapsed back onto the sheets, but Abby seemed as satisfied as she could be, so Raven just cuddled up beside her and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

The next morning was… brutal, but that was mostly because Raven felt so helpless. Abby cried and cried, and all Raven could do was try to soothe her, knowing that no amount of love and reassurance could truly drive away that sort of worry. The trip to Dr. Snider’s office was even worse, Raven watching as Abby’s strength seemed to fade with every step she took. Having to wait out in the hall while Abby faced down her fears was the worst of all, making Raven feel so helpless that she thought she might cry too. Thankfully, she managed to hold herself together, at least until after the appointment was over.

When they got back to the car, however, Raven just couldn’t do it anymore. She was scared and worried and hurt, but her last frayed nerve snapped when she pulled out her phone and found a series of snide messages from Clarke. The first one was tame, reasonable even, simply, ‘Any idea when you’ll be by to pick up the boys?’ When that text went unanswered, Clarke’s next message got a little ruder, her blunt tone clear even in text form, ‘No, really… Should I feed them dinner or what?’ Raven hadn’t even thought to check her phone while they were in the doctor’s office, so after another absent reply, Clarke had sent, ‘Look, I get it. You guys are celebrating, but if we end up keeping Nick and Jake another night, you’re gonna owe me big time.’

The word ‘celebrating’ was the real tipping point, making Raven wish she hadn’t said anything, making her wish she’d just ignored that little lump altogether. She knew that was wrong; it was Abby’s body, and she had every right to know when something had changed, but for just a second, Raven wished. Of course, she wouldn’t have been able to concentrate with something that serious tickling the back of her mind, and Abby would have figured out something was wrong anyway, but still, she wished.

Now, those thoughts were doing a lot more than just tickling. As a matter of fact, her worries became so intense that they started to trickle down her face before she even realized it was happening. When the first tear landed on her phone screen, she wiped it angrily against her shirt, but then the moisture was just replaced two-fold, as another set of tears dripped off of her chin. That just made her even angrier, but when a choked sob filled the air, Raven realized she wasn’t the only one crying.

Obviously, Abby had been reading over her shoulder, and when she blubbered out a broken call of Clarke’s name, Raven felt even worse. She knew that her friend had a hard-enough time dealing with her lingering grief after Jake’s death; with Abby now staring down death’s door too, Clarke was likely to flip. They’d have to tell her, of course; there’d be no hiding the grief they both felt when they went to pick up the boys, but Raven just hoped that Lexa was home, because she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to comfort both broken Griffins at once.

It seemed there was some luck left in the world, Lexa greeting them at the front door with a warm smile and a cooing baby in her arms. Aden’s sweet face was probably enough to make anyone smile, but Lexa’s clearly faltered when she took in the state of things. She quickly gestured for them come inside, leading them towards the kitchen. Clarke’s smile wasn’t nearly as friendly when they rounded the corner into the room, but just like Lexa, she seemed to understand immediately that something was seriously wrong.

Nick and Jake and Madi coming into the room lightened things up a little bit, and Raven was happy to see her babies, even if they weren’t exactly Aden’s age anymore. Nick babbled, trying to tell her a dozen things at once, and Jake relayed several events from his day as well, but eventually, Raven had to ask Lexa to take them to go gather their stuff. Her voice broke before she could finish the question, but Lexa gratefully covered it up, distracting the boys when she said, “Sure thing, Rae, but that might take a few minutes. Somebody thought it would be a good idea to dump all his crayons out onto the floor.”

Before Raven could ask which one, Nick’s little voice pipped in as he protested, “I couldn’t find the green one, and trees are green.” The inherent ‘duh’ made Raven smile but she was sure it didn’t actually reach her eyes.

Thankfully, Nick didn’t seem to notice, and Jake was too busy playing with the drawstring of his shorts to notice much else. That is, until Lexa turned towards the living room and said, “Come on boys, if we’re quick maybe your mom will let you have ice cream after dinner.” That certainly lit a fire under the twins, as they scurried to catch up to Lexa. For a second it looked like Madi was going to lag behind, but then she took off like a shot, excitedly shouting the twin’s names as she went.

A tense silence started to build moment they were alone with Clarke, but before it had a chance to fully envelop them, Abby finally said, “We— we found a mass last night. It’s not very large, but it’s there… Dr. Snider confirmed it.”

Clarke’s reaction was predictable, as she immediately started sobbing, choking out, “Oh God… I’m— I’m so sorry,” in between sniffles. It seemed that Abby’s maternal instinct was more powerful than her feelings of self-preservation too, because within seconds, Abby was gathering Clarke into a tight hug. Again, that left Raven standing there feeling helpless, but instead of letting those dreary feelings take over, she stepped in to wrap her arms around them both, offering what comfort she could.

They stood there like that for several minutes, just holding each other up, but then Nick’s excited squeals filled the air, and their triangle quickly became a quartet. Jake’s arms wrapped around Raven’s leg a few seconds later, and Madi’s little body wiggled in between them too; all three of the kids shouting in unison, “Group Hug! Group Hug!” Lexa joined in after that, cradling Aden to her chest with one arm and wrapping the other around Clarke’s shoulders.

All the extra pressure seemed to do was make Clarke and Abby cry that much harder, and several more minutes passed before they broke finally apart, but that was mostly because Jake pulled at Raven’s shirt tail so hard that she nearly choked. She wasn’t mad, of course; not when she pulled back from the hug to find tears streaming down her sensitive son’s face. She wrapped her arms around him again on instinct, tucking his face in against her neck as he choked out, “Why— Why are we crying?”

The utter confusion in his voice was enough to make Raven cry all over again, but she held her tears in as best she could. Still, her throat was thick with them as she quietly replied, “your mama got some bad news today… and crying helps her feel better about it…”

Jake seemed to contemplate her words for a moment before he offered Raven a soft smile as he said, “Oh, like when I skinned my knee and you said it was ok to cry about it if I needed to?”

Raven couldn’t help but ruffle his hair a little bit before she responded, taking the moment to thank her lucky stars for her boys. Nick was a good kid; a natural extrovert, excitable and talkative and confident, but Jake had a poet’s soul, introverted and emotional and considerate. They were total opposites, but that was also part of why they were growing up into these perfect little people. They played to each other’s strengths and shored up each other’s weakness; they had Abby’s intelligence and Raven’s cleverness in droves, and sweet little smiles to boot. When they were together in something, there was no stopping them.

Needless to say, when they were at odds with each other, Raven would swear World War 3 was about to break out, but in that moment, when she felt Nick’s little arms sling around the both of them, Raven had a feeling her boys would always be there for each other; no matter what tragedy befell them. Her thoughts turned dark so quickly that Raven had to struggle to turn them back, but she covered her hesitation with a quick kiss to the side of Jake’s head before she finally said, “Yeah, Jay… just like that.”

With that confirmation, it wasn’t long before Nick was pulling his brother away by the hand, quietly muttering, “we’re definitely getting ice cream now…” as they made their way towards the living room. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from them, even once they’d disappeared into the other room; the sight of Nick’s arm wrapped around Jake’s shoulder was just too good to miss.

By the time Raven turned back to Abby and Clarke and Lexa, Madi had replaced Aden in Lexa’s arms, and she was currently sucking her thumb with her face buried in Lexa’s neck. Aden was squirming in Clarke’s arms instead, even though Clarke was bouncing him up and down, trying to calm him. Lexa hadn’t wandered far though; she was rubbing Madi’s back with one hand, but Raven could also see her other arm wrapped tensely around Clarke’s waist. On the surface, it seemed like an offer of comfort, but it was obviously a protective gesture as well. Clearly, Lexa wasn’t happy about her upset mate, but Raven didn’t feel too worried about that; Lexa was probably feeling upset and confused herself.

Before long, Nick and Jake made their way back into the kitchen, backpacks slung over their shoulders and their shoes on their feet. With their departure growing more imminent, Clarke put on a brave face, but her voice still wavered when she finally said, “When— when will we know?”

Abby’s voice quivered as well when she quietly replied, “f-friday… probably after lunch…” From just the sound of her voice, Raven knew Abby felt guilty, like she knew her words meant more sleepless nights and restless days for everyone involved. When Raven actually saw the look on Abby’s face, she realized that Abby was barely holding herself together too.

Seeing how fast Abby was fading, Raven tried to take charge of the conversation, hoping to alleviate some of the pressure Abby was feeling. She agreed to call Clarke the second they got the results of the biopsy; though, she chose to speak in code to save the little ears that were present. Still, as they made their way down the steps, Raven couldn’t help but laugh when she heard Madi asking Lexa, “Mama, what’s ‘b-i-o-p-s-y’ mean?” Apparently, some of Abby’s intelligence had trickled down to her granddaughter as well.

After that emotional rollercoaster, dinner was a somber affair, but at least the food was good. They opted to grab some take-out on the way home, from Nick and Jake’s favorite pizza place. The boys were very pleased about that too, but it seemed that even Nick’s usual enthusiasm was curbed by the weight that hung over them. By the time they got around to bath time, the boys had perked up a bit; particularly because Raven had supplied each of them with a small helping of ice cream for dessert. The sugar, on top of their carb-loaded dinner, meant that once it was finally time to get in the bed, both Nick and Jake complained, whining that they weren’t tired, but Raven simply reminded them, “What’s bedtime on school nights?”

Nick and Jake grumbled their answers, simultaneously saying, “niiinnne…” Raven couldn’t help but smirk when she heard the disappointment in their voices, knowing that they already knew what her next question would be. In fact, Raven had barely even drawn a breath to speak, before Nick piped up again, this time grumbling even louder as he said, “Annnnd, it’s already nine-thirty… god, mom, we know…”

Normally, that kind of sass wouldn’t fly, but Raven decided to cut Nick a little slack, figuring he was probably more tired than he realized. Still, she tried to keep her voice firm as she said, “Just try to get some sleep, please, for me?”

That earned her a couple more grumbles, but once Nick and Jake were both settled in under the covers, their protests died down. Jake gave her an exaggerated yawn when she moved to tuck him in, and Nick squirmed when she pressed a kiss his forehead. That was pretty much par for the course though, so Raven just made her way out of the room like it was any other night. Of course, it wasn’t just any other night, and tomorrow wouldn’t be just any other day, but Raven tried not focus on that. If she thought about it too much, she was sure she was going to cry again.

That being said, when Raven found Abby crumpled up on their bathroom floor, crying into the lapel of her bath robe, she couldn’t do anything but join her. She knew she should be reassuring Abby, telling her that everything would work out, that they could get through anything as long as they were together, but seeing the tears streaming down Abby’s face, Raven couldn’t hold her own sorrow in anymore. Instead, she slumped down into the floor next to Abby, and then held her until they’d both cried themselves out.

Once they were both a bit more composed, Raven helped Abby into the tub, and then filled it with water so hot that it instantly turned Abby’s skin pink. The flush reminded Raven how Abby looked when she was wet in other ways, but she immediately pushed those thoughts aside, feeling guilty for even thinking like that; especially, when they were both in a such a fragile state. Still, her face must’ve shown some of what she was thinking because Abby quickly asked, “Thinking about joining me?”

Normally, Raven wouldn’t hesitate; normally, Abby wouldn’t even have to ask, but with Abby’s puffy, red eyes staring back at her, Raven froze. Part of her wanted nothing more than to climb into their two-seater tub, only to sit in Abby’s lap instead of the empty bucket seat beside her. She wanted to be close to Abby in a way that only came from feeling her mate inside her. Even still, there was a whole other part of Raven that knew that was selfish. She could try to deny that all she wanted to too, but the little voice in the back of her head had no problem asking the hard questions, the voice sounding suspiciously like her own mother as it whispered insipidly, ‘ _Some omega, you are? You can’t even keep your pants on long enough to comfort your mate?’_

Not surprisingly, those thoughts plastered a pained look over Raven’s features again, but thankfully, Abby picked up on that one too, reaching out for Raven as she also whispered, “it’s okay if you— if you don’t want to… I understand…”

Abby’s voice seemed to fail her there, but Raven knew what she was trying to say. Essentially, Abby was giving her the green light to pull away, to distance herself before the inevitable happened. That wasn’t going to happen though, not even over Raven’s own dead body. She wasn’t going to let the mere idea of death scare her away from the best thing that had ever happened to her. She needed Abby to know that too; one hundred percent, full stop, not a doubt left in her mind.

The best way Raven knew how to do that, was to show Abby what she wanted, how much she wanted Abby. Her top came off first and her bra soon followed, both flung somewhere towards the hamper. She quickly slipped out of her brace too, resting it against the side of the tub for easy access later. Once it was settled, Raven didn’t waste any time yanking down her jeans and her underwear, all in one go. It was a bit of struggle to get the tight material over her ankles, but when she felt Abby’s hands bracket her hips, Raven managed to pull the rest of her clothes off without falling over.

It felt like Raven was falling anyway when Abby started to pull her into the tub, but Raven wasn’t scared; she knew Abby would catch her before she crashed. The water in the tub sloshed when Raven eventually landed in Abby’s lap, but with Abby’s arms wrapping around her, Raven couldn’t care less about the mess. There was something about Abby’s expression that bothered her though, like Abby was holding something back, so Raven pulled back too. That look only grew more confused then, but Raven just cupped Abby’s cheeks with her hands and smiled as she said, “If _you_ don’t want to, I understand.”

The parroted words brought a bit of a smile to Abby’s lips as well, but it was only there for a moment before Abby sourly replied, “That isn’t even a question… I’ll always want you, but I just— things are going to get so much harder, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that. You’ve been through too much already… it just doesn’t seem fair for me to ask you to stick around, just to— to watch me _die_.”

With those words, a fresh wave of panic rolled over Raven’s shoulders, but again, she didn’t let it pin her down; she didn’t let it cripple her. Instead, she just pulled Abby’s face into the side of her neck and said, “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?” A choked laugh was Abby’s response, and Raven thought that was with good reason; with Abby’s nose pressed against the bite mark on Raven’s neck, there was no denying the connection they shared. Of course, Raven being Raven, she drove the point home anyway when she said, “I didn’t know it at the time, but I’ve been yours since the moment you laid eyes on me… and, no matter how hard it gets, I want my face to be the last thing you see too.”

As heartwarming as that sentiment was, Raven felt her heart break too. Just thinking about watching the life drain out of Abby’s eyes was enough to make her clench her own eyes shut, trying to blot out the horrible image of Abby’s pale face staring back at her. She shook off those thoughts though; Abby was still warm underneath her, still vibrant and so _alive_. As her mate, Raven felt compelled to prove that to her too. Abby grunted in disappointment when Raven started to pull her away from her neck, but once their lips were pressed together instead, the only sounds Raven heard out of Abby were soft sighs and shuddery moans.

Those sounds increased in pitch and frequency as Raven deepened their kiss, using her tongue to coax Abby’s lips apart. The angle was a bit awkward though, so Raven shifted around until she was straddling Abby, and when their kissing resumed, Raven found herself making a few soft sounds herself. At first, it was all breathy sighs as Abby’s tongue teased at her top lip, but as Abby sucked her bottom lip in between her own, Raven couldn’t help but gasp when Abby’s teeth took hold and pulled too.

The little spike of pain sent pleasure rushing over her nerves, making Raven shiver in Abby’s lap, but the thing that really had her shaking, was the depth of her feelings for her mate. Never had she felt so understood, so heard, so loved; Abby was her shelter in the storm, and Raven decided in that moment that she would do anything in her power to make Abby feel that same safety she felt. Part of that was coaxing Abby into taking back some of the control that she’d given up that day, so as Abby’s kisses grew more demanding, Raven relaxed into it, allowing Abby to set the pace. When she felt a pair of hands settle over her hips, Raven relaxed into that touch too, relishing the feeling of Abby guiding their hips closer together.

The first time Raven’s core rubbed against Abby’s pelvis, Raven gasped again; the sudden, hard friction was almost too much for her, but when Abby’s hold on her hips tightened, Raven moaned instead, instinctually rocking into that iron grip. Before she knew it, Raven was sinking down in between Abby’s spreading thighs, and the new angle caused Raven’s core to grind up against Abby’s engorged clit instead of her stomach. The contact was so electric that Raven nearly came on the spot, but when Abby moaned into their kiss, Raven held off. She wanted to come, badly, but she wanted them to come together even more.

That didn’t seem too far off either; Raven was already so close she could taste it, and when Abby’s movements started to grow more stilted, she knew Abby was getting there too; she just needed a little extra push. Breaking their kiss was torturous, but it was well worth it when Raven felt Abby panting against her lips. Her broken breaths carried words too; simple ones like, “love… this… love… you…” but Raven didn’t need to hear them. She felt those words with every shift, every blink, every breath.

Still, the heart felt confession pulled words from Raven’s lips as well. She was just as eloquent too, when she panted out, “I… love… you… too… so so sooo— much…” Their desperation for each other seemed to skyrocket then, Raven moaning into the contact when Abby’s hands guided their cores together yet again. She couldn’t help the way she shuddered either, her insides clenching and quivering as she finally tipped over the edge.

The pleasure was overwhelming, almost powerful enough to carry Raven off into the ether, but when Abby went stiff beneath her, she cried out all over again. Feeling Abby’s clit twitch and throb against her own drove Raven that much higher, making her head swim and her limbs feel like they were incased in lead. Somehow, Abby kept them moving though, rocking into each other as they rode out the aftershocks.

By the time those faded, Raven was actually pretty sore. She wasn’t used to having her bad leg bent back underneath her like that, and as a result, her hip on that side was screaming, protesting the awkward angle. Before she even had a chance to flinch about it though, Abby was shifting her hips for her, so that Raven was sitting side-saddle in Abby’s lap instead. Naturally, Raven would have loved to stay in Abby’s lap for the rest of the night, but she was also grateful that Abby knew her limitations and honored them without question.

Without the heat of Abby’s body pressing against her front, Raven quickly noticed how cold the bath water had become. Her entire upper body was covered in goosebumps, and her good leg even felt a little numb. It seemed that Abby felt the same way though, her voice rough and scratchy when she suggested, “Let’s get you warmed up, huh?”

Draining the tub felt like it took forever, but once they were standing under the hot shower spray, Raven certainly wasn’t cold anymore; not with the water rapidly warming her front and the heat of Abby’s body pressed tightly up against her back. They got a little lost in each other then, as they went about getting clean, exchanging soft touches and reverent caresses and scalp scratches. In fact, it wasn’t until the shower had started to run cold that they actually crawled out of the tub again.

As they dried off, Raven caught Abby staring at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. From the look of sorrow on her face, Raven had a pretty good idea what Abby was thinking too. Change was coming, and most of it was for the worst. Abby was probably going of need surgery of some kind; whether it was just to remove the lump, or her whole breast, remained to be seen. Raven briefly wondered what Abby would decide about that, when the time came; maybe, she would only let the surgeon take one. If she knew anything about Abby though, Abby would probably insist on having both her breasts removed, just to be sure. If biopsy results showed cancer, Abby would probably insist on chemo and radiation too. Abby’s hair would fall out, if they didn’t shave it off first, and the radiation would surely make Abby feel sick and weak.

All those changes scared Raven too, but Abby had always done such a good job caring for her; Raven knew she was strong enough to return the favor. She gently nudged the towel in Abby’s hands, hoping Abby would take the hint, and when Abby went back to scrubbing the towel over her skin, Raven couldn’t help but smile. If the mood wasn’t so heavy, Raven would have made a joke about the sudden role reversal, saying something like, ‘It’s way too early in our relationship for sponge baths.’ As it was, a little snort escaped Raven’s throat anyway, but when Abby looked at her like she’d just been shot in the chest, Raven blurted out, “Sorry— Sorry, its just… we make quite the pair, don’t we?”

Raven added a little jiggle of her hips, and nearly fell over doing it, but when Abby scooped her up into her arms, Raven knew she’d said something right, because Abby beamed back at her, as she said, “And, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” A flash of something more morose passed across Abby’s lips then, and a moment later, she backpedaled, “Well, I can think of one thing I would change, but if— if I have… cancer, at least I have you too.”

As if those words weren’t painful enough, the broken note in Abby’s voice nearly broke Raven as well. Still, she managed to hold back her tears long enough to look Abby in the eye as she said, “Always, Abs… you’ll always have me, no matter what.”


	2. The Dread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna take a moment to emphasize the dubious science tag on this fic. I've never had a mammogram, or a biopsy, or breast cancer. Any of the 'scientific/medical' advice or treatments in this fic are simply my artist's representation of these experiences. I've done my due diligence, as I do with every fic I write, and while writing this one, I've researched everything from medical marijuana usage to breast cancer stage determinations to the drug trial process. I've tried to make it all as plausible as possible, but this still a work of fiction, so I'm just asking for a little willing suspension of disbelief when it comes to my valiant attempt at realism. Thanks...

The next day, Abby felt even worse than the day before. On top of already being emotionally and physically exhausted, she’d only managed a few fitful hours of sleep, and once Jake and Nick were up, she had to contend with two screaming six-year-olds, both wanting different things in their lunch boxes. At least, she could almost take comfort in the normalcy of it all; Nick bouncing on the balls of his feet, excitedly exclaiming, “Peanut Butter, Jelly Time!” over and over again, while Jake whined about wanting egg-salad instead. Abby didn’t have any egg-salad made up, but she managed to convince Jake that he could settle for deconstructed one.

Naturally, that meant that she had to explain what ‘deconstructed’ meant, but Jake was always so visual that she barely had to say a word as she sliced up a hard boiled egg and placed it between two pieces of bread. He narrated the whole thing for her, his tender little voice filled with haughtiness as he said, “So, that’s all it is… An egg and some mayonnaise and some relish? I could almost make that myself… if you’d let me near the stove anyway…”

Abby interjected there, scolding him a little bit for his cheekiness as she said, “With that attitude, you won’t be getting near it any time soon either.” His muttered apology was heart felt though, so Abby softened her tone as she added, “But… if you get an A on your spelling test, we’ll make cookies next weekend, ok?”

The word ‘cookies’ seemed to attract Nick’s attention as he butted in, “Don’t worry, Jake you can cheat off we if you need to!” That made Abby laugh, or rather, it made her feel like she could laugh, because no matter what else was going on, she had this life to come back to. In that moment, she’d never been so happy that she’d left her job at the hospital. Raven and Jake and Nick meant everything to her; maybe, now more than ever, and it was the most wonderful thing to be able to enjoy them like this, without the pressure of having to rush off to get to work.

Of course, she still had to hustle to get the boys to school on time, but when she got home and found Raven waiting for her in the kitchen, Abby realized that something much more daunting than a long work day lay ahead. Her biopsy appointment was set for ten-thirty, so the fact that she essentially had nothing to do for the next two hours, was one thing, but the broken look in Raven’s eyes was a whole other thing. She was barely through the door before Raven’s accusatory tone stopped her in her tracks, Raven’s voice breaking as she said, “When— When were you gonna tell me?”

It was only then that Abby noticed yesterday’s mail splayed out all over the kitchen counter. There was a letter clutched in Raven’s hand too, her knuckles white from how hard she was gripping it. Abby had no idea what Raven was talking about, of course; they didn’t keep secrets from each other, never had. A flash of the header told Abby everything she needed to know though; written boldly across the top was, **MD Magazine,** followed by what Abby could only assume was a return address. She was striding across the room before she could stop herself, leaning in over Raven shoulder to read, _To Dr. Abigail Griffin, MD. We would like to officially inform you that we have decided to publish your most recent submission, entitled, ‘Mating Marks: Magic or Medicine.’ We would like to include your article in our upcoming quarterly publication, so please respond to this letter as soon as possible._

To say that Abby was blown away, would be the understatement of the year. She read the rest of the letter in a bit of a daze, but when she got to the line that described her pay for the publication, she was shocked to find a lot more zeros there than her ‘2500’ word-article; three more, in fact. The idea of depositing a ten-thousand-dollar check was maybe the most overwhelming part of it all, thinking about how far that money could go towards Nick and Jake’s college fund. Naturally, right on the heels of that thought, Abby’s brain helpfully supplied, ‘That’ll come in handy when Raven needs money to pay for your funeral.’

Suddenly, Raven’s haughty expression didn’t seem to matter as much; Abby’s new-found success as a writer didn’t either. The only thing that Abby could think about was leaving her boys without their _mama,_ leaving Raven without her mate. Abby knew that pain all too well too; even years later, Jake’s fading mark on her neck still ached for its match sometimes. Having Raven’s mark fitted neatly inside Jake’s helped, but Abby could remember a time or two where she thought she could have died from that ache alone. That was the last thing she wanted for Raven, to spend the rest of her life feeling that kind of pain.

Naturally, there would no avoiding it; someday, Abby would die, probably before Raven did, but the idea of their time together being so ruthlessly cut short, made Abby angrier than anything else. The kicker was that Abby had no family history of cancer. Her father had died young, killed in action during the Vietnam War, but his mother had lived to be almost ninety, and she’d passed in her sleep of a suspected aneurysm.

Abby’s own mother, Linda, was still alive, and as far as Abby knew, had never had any kind of cancer. Abby thought that a polio outbreak had claimed her grandmother on her mother’s side, but that was back in the fifties. Of course, if Abby and her mother were on speaking terms, she could call and ask, just to be sure, but when Abby had bonded with Raven, her mother had essentially disowned her. Linda claimed that Raven was just after Abby’s money and that Abby was letting her do it.

Needless to say, Raven was not after Abby’s money. In fact, if Abby had a dollar for every time that she and Raven had argued about her paying for things, Abby could probably retire on the interest alone. No, Raven wanted an equal partnership, and for the most part, Abby had tried to keep it that way. Sure, she’d had a few windfalls over the last six years, like that ten-thousand-dollar payment she was expecting for her article, but Abby had stashed all those checks away into trust funds for the twins. 

Thinking about the money that she’d stockpiled over the years, Abby’s rational brain started to take over once again. Raven wouldn’t need money to pay for her funeral; Abby’s life-insurance policies would take care of that, and then some. It was an expensive plan to maintain, but between the three policies she held, Raven would receive nearly a half a million dollars when Abby died. Raven probably wouldn’t have to worry about money ever again after that; their townhouse was long paid for, and the loan on the shop was well on its way too. Once that was paid off, any profit Raven made could then be added to what Abby had already saved for Nick and Jake. If Raven was smart about it, she could invest some of that money too, securing an even better future for their boys.

Obviously, Abby wanted tell Raven all that, but when she tried to speak, all that came out was a dry wheeze. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized how worked up she’d become. Her throat felt like a desert, scorched and scratchy, and her lungs felt tight and compressed, like there was an eight-hundred-pound gorilla sitting on her chest. Her head was pounding too, the blood rushing between her ears so hard that she could feel every throb of her heart. It seemed that the strain of the last twenty-four hours was finally catching up to her.

The feeling of Raven’s arms wrapping around her waist steadied her, and within a few moments, Abby felt the throbbing in her head start to ease. After a couple of rough breaths, her chest felt lighter too, despite Raven’s near-desperate grip around her middle. The fire in the throat lingered, but after a few minutes, Abby felt well enough to try to speak again. Her voice was still coarse and strained, but Abby figured that couldn’t be helped, when she finally said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t— This is the first I’ve heard about the article…”

A huffed breath rushed past the skin of Abby’s neck, before she heard Raven reply, “Oh, Abs… I don’t care about the article. I mean, am I happy about it? Sure, who wouldn’t be happy about ten-thousand dollars?” Raven let out a little nervous laugh at that, but Abby could tell Raven wasn’t done. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Raven softly added, “who knows? we might end up needing that money.” Clearly, the sight of those zeros on the letter had lead Raven down a similar path as Abby herself, but Raven was at a disadvantage; she didn’t know all the details of Abby’s life-insurance plan.

With nothing to do for the next couple of hours, Abby realized there was really no better time to try to correct that. Raven clung to her when she tried to pull away though, so Abby brought her arms up around Raven’s back as she replied, “We should talk about a few things, actually… if you think you’re up to it?”

For a moment, Raven just sagged against Abby’s chest, grumbling into the side of her neck, but with a little gentle prodding, Raven eventually unburied her face and said, “Okay, alright… Let’s get this over with.”

That was easier said than done, as Abby had nearly two-hundred pages of documents to sift through, but soon they were settled on the couch in her office, with the file spread across their laps, going over the details of Abby’s will. Raven’s name was already on the deed to the townhouse, so that was taken care of, but there were at least ten page’s worth of account details and personal holdings to go over. Raven was the beneficiary for most of those too, except for Nick and Jake’s trust funds, and a small account that bore both Abby and Clarke’s names.

There were a few addendums that came after that: one clause naming Clarke as their joint beneficiary should Raven and Abby both die at the same time, and another stating Abby’s funerary wishes, which she had revised to include donating her organs for transplant or scientific research. They kind of glazed over those pages though, as Raven had been present for the signing of those documents.

Next, came the bulk of the file, the pages detailing Abby’s life insurance policies. These, Raven had never seen before, so Abby let her skim over them for a few minutes before she softly said, “As you can see, you shouldn’t have to worry about money once I’m— once I’m gone.”

Having to say those words out loud nearly killed her, but when Raven turned towards her, with an absolutely distraught look on her face, Abby pushed her own pain aside, in favor of absorbing some of Raven’s instead. Rather than fight it, Abby allowed the waves of fear and sorrow roll over her, crashing into her will over and over again. The force of Raven’s feelings nearly bowled Abby over too, but she refused to let them pull her under. Abby knew she couldn’t let herself break down; if she did, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever find the surface again.

They clung to each other after that, hands linked and thighs touching, as Abby went over the last few pages. Those contained details about the life insurance policy that Abby had started in Raven’s name, and the change in subject seemed to help Raven relax a little, but Abby still felt like Raven was on the cusp of crying. She tried to sooth the tremor she felt running just underneath Raven’s skin, squeezing their hands closer together in reassurance.

By the time they were done, it was nearly time to leave for her appointment, so Abby stuffed all the papers back into her file and then laid it on top of her desk to be put away later. Raven shuffled along behind her as she made her way to their bedroom, so they could get changed. The clothes Abby had on would be alright if she was going to be hunched over her computer all day, but, knowing that she would need something more comfortable for after her procedure, Abby slipped on a track suit instead.

The zip up front on the top would make it easier to get in and out of, so that was a plus, but the fabric was soft too, making Abby feel warm as it brushed against her skin. She decided to forgo a bra as well, thinking that the last thing she would want was something chaffing against her skin. Continuing along that line of rational, Abby opted for a pair of slip-on sneakers; they were comfortable and roomy, and they would also be easy to take off. She didn’t expect to have to completely disrobe for her procedure, but if she did, she would at least be prepared.

Speaking of being prepared, before Abby could wrap her head around what was happening, Raven’s hands were wrapping around her waist. Abby squeaked in surprise; the touch unexpected, yet not unwelcome, but no matter how undignified she sounded, Abby couldn’t complain when her squeal was followed by Raven’s husky chuckle. The laughter sent little puffs of air rushing over the side of Abby’s neck, and as Raven’s front pressed up into her back, Abby relaxed into the embrace, knowing that Raven probably needed the reassurance just as much as she did.

Abby let Raven hold as long as she could too, but after a quick glance at the wall clock over the bathroom door, Abby knew that if they didn’t leave in the next five minutes, they would be late for her appointment. Raven seemed to sense the shift before it came, her hold on Abby’s waist loosening before Abby even had a chance to say, “We should go, or we’ll be late.” She said the words anyway, as Raven took her hand and started to lead her towards the door.

They descended the stairs hand in hand as well; at least as far as the first landing, where Raven finally said, “Go on and warm up the car. I’ll be right behind you.” Walking down the stairs while Raven rode the lift was awkward, but Abby wasn’t quite willing to let Raven go just yet. She pulled Raven into her arms instead, pressing their lips together almost desperately. Raven seemed shocked at first, but as she started to kiss back, Abby was left wondering what had come over her. Leaving Raven’s side just didn’t sit right with her; she like if she went on ahead, something bad would happen.

Surely, some of her desperation was seeping into Raven through their bond, because after a moment, Raven whined into in Abby’s mouth and then quickly pulled away. She was still panting against Abby’s face though, when she choked out, “If you— If you keep doing that… we’re definitely gonna be late.”

The reminder of their impending departure brought Abby back to her senses, but she still didn’t leave Raven alone on the stairs. She let Raven ride down at her own pace, choosing to wait for Raven at each landing instead. Then, rather than grip the handrail, Raven grabbed Abby’s outstretch hand to help her around to next lift. Marching down each half-flight still made Abby feel uneasy, but when Raven retook her hand, Abby couldn’t help smiling, feeling like that simple contact was only thing keeping some unseen evil at bay.

Once they both reached the ground floor, Abby took up Raven’s hand again, and then didn’t let go. She nearly made Raven crawl over the center console of her car, simply so they wouldn’t have to stop touching each other while they climbed inside. Raven snickered a little bit when Abby started to pull her along towards the passenger’s side though, saying, “H-It’s ok, Abs… I’m not going anywhere you aren’t.” The words were soothing, and Raven’s tone was too, but Abby knew there was at least one place she could go, where Raven couldn’t follow.

That thought just made Abby that much more desperate to get Raven’s hand back into to her own; so much so, that by the time Raven had hobbled around the front end of the car and climbed inside, Abby thought she might panic without that comforting touch. Luckily, Raven just smiled as their fingers slotted together once again, returning Abby’s firm grip with a squeeze of her own. Their hands shifted here and there as Raven put the car in drive and eased out into traffic, but once they weren’t out on the road, Raven just settled their hands into her lap with a sigh.

It wasn’t an irritated sound; it wasn’t even a relieved sound. Instead, Raven sounded sad, and that made Abby feel much the same. A sort of melancholy settled over her then, blurring the scenery around her. It was persistent feeling too, plaguing Abby all the way into the surgical suite at Dr. Snider’s office. At least, her mood made it easier to sit in the waiting room while the office staff finished preparing the suite. The concerned glances and polite silence were nothing more than background noise; especially, compared to the death match that was going on in Abby’s head.

Dr. Snider’s succinct nature snapped Abby out of her stupor, but that was only after Abby had already discarded her track jack in favor of the stiff cloth gown she’d been given. Even dazed, Abby was grateful that she’d managed to get the frock on the right way round, with the opening towards the front. She suspected that might have something to do with Raven’s gentle hands guiding her up onto the exam table, but then, Dr. Snider said, “This’ll feel a little cold, but just try to relax,” and any other thought Abby had quickly drifted away.

Even with the warning, the iodine was still a bit of a shock, and Abby blushed when her nipples hardened into fine points, her body reacting to the cold. Dr. Snider didn’t make it weird though; she just continued on with what she was doing as she said, “Now, we’re going to give you a local anesthetic, but it’s not gonna feel good going in. Most of my patients say it’s better if you breathe through it, so when you’re ready, take a deep breath and I’ll start when you exhale.”

For a moment, Abby couldn’t even think about breathing, not when she caught sight of the two needles laying on the instrument tray beside her. Dr. Snider picked up the smaller one, but Abby couldn’t tear her eyes away from the one she’d left behind. It was at least eight inches long, and the bore was considerably larger than the one in Dr. Snider’s hand. It was obvious then; that monster was the needle that Dr. Snider would use to collect her biopsy sample.

At the thought of it pushing into her skin, Abby suddenly found herself very eager to breathe through the smaller injection needle. Still a little nervous though, Abby locked eyes with Raven first, and when she found Raven already staring back at her, Abby pulled in the biggest breath she could manage, and then nodded before she let it go.

Expecting a pinch, and then maybe some burning, Abby was taken by complete surprise when a searing pain started to spread through her breast. It was nearly unbearable, right from the start, but after a few moments, the burn really set in, forcing Abby to hiss through her teeth to keep from screaming. Raven’s hand clenched around Abby’s fingers at the sound, and that firm grip was even more welcome than it had been before, distracting Abby from the pain.

The wave of numbness that followed was blissful in comparison, but Abby wondered if it was worth it. Of course, thinking about the other syringe again, Abby decided she should just count her blessings and be done with it. She still felt sick when the larger-bored needle pressed into her flesh, but at least the pressure wasn’t accompanied by any more pain. After a few moments of that awkward feeling, Abby felt a slight pulling, but she sighed when she felt the pressure return only a few moments after that.

Keeping her gaze locked with Raven’s was harder then; the shifting pressure against her breast peaking Abby’s curiosity, and by the time, she heard Dr. Snider let out a satisfied sigh, Abby couldn’t help herself. She glanced back just in time to see her doctor wrapping the gown back across her body, but Abby knew her doctor had been checking for any overnight growth. From the look on Dr. Snider’s face, Abby could guess that the mass hadn’t gotten any bigger, but it still felt good when Dr. Snider said, “Well, there doesn’t seem any change from yesterday, so that’s good news, but I’d like you to do _thorough_ at-home exams for the next few days, so we can track any progression as it happens.”

Feeling a bit silly for not thinking of that herself, Abby shook her head, even as she said, “Of course, Doctor. Is there anything else I can do while we wait for the results?”

That question seemed to catch Dr. Snider off guard, but before Abby could blink, Dr. Snider had gathered herself again, speaking with more compassion when she said, “Try to get some rest. Relax, if you can… drink a glass of wine, if you can’t.” That answer caught Abby off guard too, almost making her choke on her own spit, but she held herself together as Dr. Snider continued, “Our bodies heal more slowly when we’re stressed, so really, the best advice I can give you is, take a bubble bath, drink a glass of wine… if you’re up for it, and have a willing partner, sex is a good way to relieve stress too.”

With her words, Dr. Snider glanced over towards Raven, and Abby followed her gaze, smiling when she found her mate blushing red from ear to ear. Of course, Raven being Raven, she never let a little embarrassment slow her down, and that moment was no exception. Still, Abby felt her own skin flush when Raven said, “Oh, I’m definitely willing… anytime, anywhere.”

That was the truth too; they barely made it into the car before Raven’s hand was teasing the inside of Abby’s thigh. The touch wasn’t nearly as racy as it could have been, not at first anyway, but by the time they were pulling up in front of their townhouse, Raven’s hand had drifted to places that were far more suggestive. Once the car was parked, Abby thought they’d go inside to finish what Raven had started, but when Raven turned to her and pulled her into a heated kiss, there was a part of Abby that wanted Raven to make her come right there in the front seat of her car; in broad daylight, no less.

However, with the privacy of home not fifty feet away, Abby’s more rational side won out. It was hard, but she forced herself to pull away, and even though, her breaths were beyond ragged, she still managed to say, “In-inside… we should go… inside.” Raven let out a little whine, obviously not pleased with the idea, but she didn’t actively protest, so Abby just slipped out of the passenger’s seat as fast as she could go, hoping that the move wouldn’t kill the mood.

If anything, the brief break seemed to ramp Raven up even more, because Abby was barely though the front door before Raven was pressing her up against it with her lips. Liquid heat pooled in Abby’s belly as Raven’s tongue slicked her lips, and she couldn’t help the way she moaned when Raven’s teeth pulled at her bottom lip. Her moans only got louder from there too, like when the heat of Raven’s mouth moved down along her jaw to her throat. Then, Raven’s teeth were nipping at the side of her neck, pulling even sharper sounds from Abby’s mouth.

In fact, Abby’s cries were so loud that she didn’t hear the zipper on her track jacket being unzipped, but when one of Raven’s hands met the bare skin of her side, Abby practically screamed. She needed this like she needed oxygen, anything to beat back the sadness that had threatened to envelop her earlier. Raven’s apparent desperation for her was doing a damn fine job of that too, distracting Abby from any thoughts that didn’t include getting Raven’s hands on more than just her sides.

Naturally, when Raven’s touch disappeared a few moments later, Abby keened, wailing at the sudden loss. She wasn’t sure when she’d closed her eyes, but they popped open then, immediately searching for the source of the interruption. The view that greeted her was almost too much, overwhelming Abby in the best sort of way. Raven’s face was open and honest, staring up at her from hip level, and the hunger in her eyes made Abby shiver in anticipation.

With Raven’s hip the way it was, Abby almost never agreed to this position, but when Raven said, “It’s ok… I’m ok, just let me do this,” Abby’s reservations simply melted away. The neediness in Raven’s voice was definitely inspiring, and the way Raven’s fingertips hovered over the waistband of Abby’s pants didn’t hurt either. With her own need building as well, Abby knew she couldn’t have resisted even if she wanted to; not when she felt herself shiver at just the thought of Raven sucking at her clit while she was down on her knees. The submission alone was likely to make Abby come, and quickly.

With that image in her head, Abby simply couldn’t handle any more stimulation, so she closed her eyes as Raven’s fingers finally dipped down into her waistband. She gasped when Raven started to pull down though, realizing that Raven was divesting her of her underwear at the same time. The slip-on sneakers that she’d been wearing must’ve disappeared somewhere in the pile of quickly discarded clothes too, because before Abby knew it, she was standing barefoot on their welcome mat, naked from the waist down.

Her track jacket still hung on her shoulders, but with the zipper completely undone, it was loose enough that Raven had no problem nuzzling into the space below Abby’s navel. The rush of heated breath tickling her skin made Abby even more aware of the throbbing mess she’d become, and she couldn’t help the way her hand reached out for Raven, needing something to ground her. Of course, the only part of Raven within reach was that damn ponytail she always wore, but when Abby wrapped it around her fist, she felt Raven groan against her hip.

The vibrations that followed were Abby’s only warning before Raven started to urge her knees further apart. Then, the heat of Raven’s mouth followed that, and for a few minutes, all Abby could think about was the sweet suction of Raven’s lips. That is, until she felt just the barest hint of Raven’s teeth dragging over the tip of her clit. Then, all Abby could think about was feeling that again and again and again. There was just something about those hard ridges threatening to devour her that dialed Abby’s libido up to eleven.

Her hips started chasing those teeth then, rocking up and down, frantically searching for them. She nearly found them too, but Raven pulled away at the exact wrong second, robbing Abby of that perfect pain. The shift reminded Abby that her hand was still wrapped up in Raven’s hair though, so she knew she could just take want she wanted, but something made her hold back. In this position, Raven was probably already pushing herself to the limit, and the last thing Abby wanted was to get too rough and end up actually injuring her.

Again though, Raven was Raven, so Abby really shouldn’t have been surprised when Raven’s voice eventually drifted up towards her ears. It was rough and breathless, but Abby heard her loud and clear as she said, “I’m ok, Abs, promise… just— just take what you need.” Those words were almost enough too, making Abby’s fist tighten on instinct, but again, she held herself back. Raven seemed to sense her hesitation though, because before Abby could respond, she added, “I need it too… need you to _use me… please?”_

That did it, of course; how could Abby refuse such a polite request? Without another thought, she locked eyes with Raven and then pulled her forward, forcing Raven’s mouth back where she needed it to be. The renewed heat immediately threatened to topple Abby’s control, but she didn’t come, knowing that would ruin the moment before they’d really even gotten started. She needed more anyway, and it seemed that Raven was all too eager to give it to her.

Despite the odd angle, Raven’s eyes stayed glued to her own, as Abby hooked a leg up over her shoulder, opening herself up to take more of Raven’s mouth. The shift forced Abby to go off-balance, but it was worth it when Raven’s hands quickly pushed up under her ass, holding her up. Once she felt stable again, it was only too natural to use the extra leverage to pull Raven in closer to her core. Raven’s chin pressed firmly up against Abby’s entrance then, and the soft of bump of Raven’s nose against her mound felt incredible too, but it was Raven’s mouth that was really driving her up the wall; or, in this case, up the door.

That mouth licked and sucked at every inch of Abby’s clit, and every so often, she felt those teeth that had been teasing her too. Of course, at that point, there was only so much teasing that Abby could take. Her alpha was already raging inside her, urging her to take control before she lost her chance, and so, before she could really think about what she was doing, Abby wrenched Raven’s hair even tighter into her fist and then pushed her hips down again; this time, even harder than she had before.

The sharp, rough drag of Raven’s teeth quickly followed, and Abby screamed as the tension inside her was finally cut along their edges. Her thighs shook, and her spine hunched, and her breath caught, as wave after wave of pleasure rushed out along her nerves. The rhythm of her hips stalled too, but Raven didn’t let that stop her; instead, Raven’s teeth rasped over the tip of Abby’s clit again and again, forcing more waves to break along her already quivering shore.

Eventually, Abby started to come down, but she realized she was also sliding down the door too, even with Raven’s hands still cupped under her rear. Her left leg wouldn’t stop shaking either, straining with the effort of trying to hold herself up. Hitting the floor seemed inevitable, but Abby thought that if she could get her other foot back on the floor, maybe she could save herself. Obviously, the second Abby’s right foot touched the ground, pins and needles shot up along the limb, and the sudden shock sent her hurdling towards the floor anyway.

Sliding down the door, Abby fell more slowly than she could have, with the track jacket still in between her skin and the door, but the extra friction didn’t really help that much. If anything, the slick material only smoothed out the ride, making it easier for Abby to bump over the molding that framed the window in their front door. A brief, albeit thrilling, image passed through Abby’s mind just before she hit the floor; anyone passing by on the street would have surely seen the blue fabric of her jacket pressed up against that window, writhing and wriggling as Abby came all over Raven’s face.

At least, Raven managed to get out of the way before Abby completely collapsed. Well, she got mostly out of the way; Abby ended up landing down at Raven’s knees instead of right on top of her. The way Raven knees were spread didn’t cushion her in any way though, making Abby groan when her tailbone finally met the welcome mat. The rug was stiff and uncomfortable as hell, and landing on it had hurt besides, but Abby was still a bit dazed, both from her climax and from the fall, so when Raven let out a rough snicker, Abby couldn’t help joining her.

Literally laughing at her own pain seemed counterproductive, but as her laugh bounced off Raven and came back at her louder than before, Abby let herself relax into it. Before she knew it, her belly hurt from laughing so hard, and her face was stiff from smiling so much. Raven seemed to be in a similar state too, panting and laughing, and trying to kiss Abby senseless, all at the same time. She managed the latter, once they’d both calmed down, but still, as soon as Abby felt like she could stand, she did. With the pain in her hip, Raven had to be aching for relief; Abby suspected Raven was probably aching in other places too.

Extracting themselves from the floor still took a bit of work, and Abby ended up having to carry Raven into the living room, so she could recover on the couch for a few minutes. Seeing Raven grimace every time she tried to stretch out her leg made Abby feel suddenly guilty, despite the fact that Raven had initiated, and even encouraged Abby to ride her face. The evidence of that was still shining all over Raven’s checks too, and that made Abby feel even worse. Her first instinct was to make it better, fix it somehow, so Abby quickly reached over to the coffee table, grabbing the box of tissues that lived there. However, when she turned back, Raven was simply grinning at her as she said, “And, just what do you think you’re doing with those?”

Caught off-balance, Abby stammered a little bit as she tried to answer, but eventually she managed to reply, “I thought… since your face is… I was just trying to make you more comfortable.”

That only seemed to make Raven grin harder, her smile quickly turning into a smirk. That shift was one of the things that Abby loved the most about Raven; her ability to turn even the most awkward moments into something she could work with, awed Abby every time. Raven’s enthusiasm was even more evident too, when she suggested, “Well, if you wanna make me more comfortable, you should come back over here… Kiss it and make it better?”

The words were seductive; they were meant to be, but all Abby could think about was that pained grimace on Raven’s face. She started to apologize then, pulling further away instead as she said, “I— I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—” That was as far as she got before Raven cut in, saying, “You don’t have to be—” but Abby barely heard her, talking over her as she finished her sentence, “— to fall on you… especially not after _that_.”

A brief silence followed, both of them taking a moment to let the other continue, but as these things happen, they both tried to start up again at the same time, Abby saying, “It was a really rude way to—” even as Raven said, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll make it—” They both broke off there, and another round of laughter followed, but Abby was already creeping across the carpet before it faded. Raven had brought her a kind of peace that she didn’t think she was ever going to find again; the least Abby could do was return the favor, and with enthusiasm of her own.

~~~

Feeling Abby grind down against her was pretty fucking incredible, and Raven thought that Abby coming all over her core was just as good as swallowing it too, but she had to admit, the clean-up that followed that was never pleasant. That was the price for keeping their nice things nice though; it was the same when Nick or Jake spilled something on the couch too, so at least Raven was used to stain removal process. First, spray on the upholstery cleaner, then let it sit for ten minutes. Normally, Raven would spend that time explaining to Nick why he couldn’t run with cup of grape juice in his hand. This time was a bit more fun than that, as Raven got to enjoy a few minutes in the shower with Abby before she got out to go finish with the couch. Of course, that left Raven alone for a few minutes, without much to do except rinse herself and then dry herself off again.

Before she’d even finish the first of those tasks, Raven felt the dread start to sink in. The next three days could make or break her, they could make or break them both. Raven had experience with these types of situations though; her back had been pushed up against the wall plenty of times. After her accident, she’d been between a rock and hard place, with no home to go back to and a pile of medical bills. Even being a teenager, she’d picked herself up as best she could, and by the time she’d moved in with Wick, she’d almost completely paid off the hospital. Who knew there were federal grants to help minors pay for medical bills? Raven, that’s who.

Making a life for herself after that wasn’t that hard either. Sure, opening the shop had taken some finagling, but they’d done it. She’d gotten her own apartment too, with roommates, but she’d had a safe place to live, and some great friends to boot. For all intents and purposes, Clarke and Octavia had introduced her to Abby, _her Abby_. That was another time that life had smacked Raven in the face, but once she’d embraced how she felt, meeting Abby turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened to her.

With that in mind, Raven knew that no matter what happened over the next few days, or even the next few months, she would stay by Abby’s side. She’d already decided that the night before, even six years before, but every time she thought about losing time with Abby, it just made her want to hold on that much more. Abby didn’t seem the least put off by that either; in fact, before Raven could finish drying herself off, Abby was already back in the bedroom, cuddled up on the bed waiting for her.

Raven climbed in with her too, letting out a grateful sigh as she sank back into Abby’s arms. She wanted comfort, and she wanted _to_ comfort as well, so she didn’t even waste time removing her towel. Of course, when Abby made a little disgruntled sound and squirmed against her back, Raven leaned up again, shed the towel, and then leaned back down once more. Abby had a thing about wet towels on the bed, and Raven knew that, but she surprised Abby had the headspace to worry about something so trivial as a damp comforter.

The feeling of Abby’s clothed chest against her back wasn’t quite what Raven wanted either, but she knew that the local anesthetic that Abby had been given was going to start wearing off soon, so she didn’t push it. She was more than happy just having Abby holding her, as the alternative was not having Abby at all. Besides, she’d seen how much Abby had gone through just getting the injection; the last thing she wanted was to make that pain worse.

Sure enough, only a few minutes later, Abby rolled over onto her back, hissing as she moved. Raven had thought about that though, so she shuffled off the bed and headed back into the bathroom. From there, she grabbed the arnica-based balm out of the medicine cabinet; the one that she used when her hip was really bothering her. The topical anesthetic would sooth Abby’s aches, and the cream was supposed to be good for bruising and swelling too. It was something that Anya had suggested, inadvertently through Octavia; although, that was really a story for another time. Suffice to say, either Octavia bruised easily, or Anya liked it rough; or maybe, the rough one was Lincoln, but Raven doubted that.

Whatever they did in their bedroom was their business, of course, and to be honest, Raven didn’t mind when Abby took control of their pleasure either, but the real take away from that whole, embarrassing conversation was the ArniCalm ointment in Raven’s hands. She made her way back into the bedroom as quick as she could then, but without her brace, she ended up hobbling from surface to surface just to keep herself standing. The exhaustion of two sleepless night was already catching up with her, and the next few nights would be much the same, but Raven wasn’t going to let that stop her; she wasn’t going to let anything stop her from caring for her mate.

Abby was in much the same position as when Raven left her, except now she had an arm thrown over her eyes. Trying not to startle her, Raven called out as she ambled over to the bed, softly saying, “Babe, I’ve got some of that cream Anya told us about, the ArniCalm… I think as long as we avoid any broken skin, it should help.” Expecting some push back against the ‘herbal’ remedy, Raven was surprised when Abby agreed without a word, soundlessly leaning up to strip off the loose top she had on.

The first glimpse of Abby’s breasts always made Raven go a little googly-eyed, but she reigned herself in before she could even think those sexy thoughts. The bright blue band-aid just under Abby’s left nipple helped with that, quickly reminding Raven of the task at hand. She scooped some of the balm out of the jar and then rubbed it into Abby’s skin as delicately as possible, just tracing the edges of the band-aid with her fingers. Abby winced a little bit, and Raven felt it too, but as she moved away from the injection site, Abby seemed to relax considerably.

By the time she’d covered half of Abby’s breast with the cream, Abby’s nipple had stiffened at the attention. It was a perfectly natural reaction; Raven knew that, but she nearly choked on her own tongue when, Abby stifled a little moan at her touch. It really wasn’t the time to be thinking about sex, and Raven knew that too, so she tried to keep her touch as clinical as she could, knowing that either way Abby would find some relief.

It seemed that wasn’t far off either; before Raven could get the cap back on the tube, Abby was stifling a sigh instead of a moan. With Abby content, at least for the moment, Raven made another trip to the bathroom to wash the ArniCalm off her fingers. That wasn’t such an easy task though, because even after scrubbing her hands twice, the smell of the balm still lingered underneath the soap. Once her hands were dry, it wasn’t so bad, but by the time she finally got her brace on and made her back to the bedroom, Abby was asleep. Arms akimbo and her shirt still lying beside her on the bed, Abby looked so relaxed that Raven just didn’t have the heart to wake her; not even so she could crawl back into the bed with her. Instead, Raven made her way downstairs, after covering Abby with a light blanket, of course.

Idle hands were never a good thing for Raven to have though. She knew she shouldn’t leave; if Abby woke up and she was gone, Abby would assume the worst. That meant Raven couldn’t go off the shop to get her hands dirty, so she decided to tackle their broken toaster instead. It was one of those expensive models, that could fit four slices of toast at once and do wider things like bagels, but even with the hundred-dollar price tag, it had only lasted two years before it crapped out. It still got hot, and it would still toast bread, but Raven could eat only blackened toast with breakfast so many times.

There was obviously a problem with the timer, or shut-off mechanism, so after getting the cover off, Raven inspected those parts first, looking for a worn gear or a broken switch. The timer seemed like it was in good working order though, no gears missing teeth or shoddy soldering jobs. It was a simple device too, just a dial with a bunch of dots and numbers around it, but when Raven compare two dots to two minutes on the stove, it was surprisingly accurate.

Looking over the shut-off switch didn’t produce any problems either. The electrical connections between it and the timer were solid, and the switch itself conducted electricity properly too. Nothing looked burnt out or broken on the control chip, but there could be some problem internally that Raven wouldn’t be able to fix. She wasn’t ready to give up, however, so she moved on to the other parts of the toaster, looking for anything out of place.

By that point, she was frustrated and a little beaten down, but then she spotted something jammed down in between the spring and the rail inside one of the slice holsters. Getting the debris out with a pair of tweezers was a bit of a pain, but Raven still felt a little disappointed when she finally pulled a half-burnt penny out of the slot. There was really only one way the coin could’ve gotten in there, and that was maybe even more disappointing.

Clearly, Abby hadn’t stuck that penny down in the toaster, and unless she was sleepwalking or something, raven hadn’t done it either. That left Nick or Jake, and while Nick had just enough mischief in him to do it just to see what would happen, Raven’s money was on Jake. Sensitive as he may be, Jake had a little mischievous streak too, though he would claim that his curiosity was one of his best qualities. For the most part, Raven agreed with him too, but stuffing things down into the toaster wasn’t an experiment; it was dangerous. He wouldn’t have much chance of electrocuting himself with a penny, but if he moved up to stuffing a fork down in there, he’d certainly get shocked. Not to mention, if the toaster got overheated, it could easily catch fire.

Those were things they’d have to talk about after Raven picked Jake and Nick up from school, which wouldn’t be for another hour or so, but instead of putting the toaster back together, she decided to wait. If Jake was so curious about how the toaster worked, then maybe showing him the inside would help. Maybe, she could even teach him a thing or two about electricity while she was at it.

No sooner than she’d gotten up from the kitchen table, Abby stepped into the room with a sleepy, “Rae, you in here?” Raven turned just in time to see Abby’s eyes go wide, but instead of going ballistic over the mess, Abby simply asked, “Oh, did you figure what was wrong?”

Knowing better than to try to hide it, Raven produced the charred penny as she said, “Yeah, I found this stuffed down in there.” Obviously, Abby took a moment to try to process what she was seeing, but Raven just continued on anyway, adding, “I thought if I waited to put the toaster back together, then I could show the boys how it worked, and maybe this won’t happen again.”

Relief and worry seemed to war inside Abby for a moment before she finally replied, “Yeah, that’s good, but we should make sure they both know how serious this is… I mean, I don’t usually leave the room while I’m cooking breakfast, but I certainly don’t watch the toaster every second either. What if it caught fire, and I didn’t notice until it was too late?” Abby busied herself in the kitchen as she spoke, getting down the kettle and filling it with water, but Raven could tell how rattled Abby was, just from the tone in her voice. Raven felt for her too; with so many other things out of her control, Abby’s inner control-freak was definitely freaking out.

All Raven could do for that was agree with her though, which she quickly did, saying, “My thoughts exactly. I figure a little hands-on demonstration will help curb their curiosity.” Abby nodded, as she plugged the kettle in, but her hand lingered on the plug for a moment before she pulled it away. Raven could tell Abby was realizing the other hazards of stuffing metal objects down into the toaster, so she added, “I know… we don’t want them getting shocked either. We’ve taught them not to stick a fork into an outlet, but they probably don’t understand that the toaster works on power too.” When all Abby did was nod again, and stare at the kettle, Raven knew she was tumbling down somewhere into the dark, so she tried to change the subject, moving over to the pantry as she asked, “Do you want the Chamomile or the Grey?”

The direct question obviously made Abby’s head spin for a moment, but she recovered pretty quickly, turning to Raven and asking a question of her own, “Do we have any of the peach white left?” Raven already had her hand on the box of Grey, thinking that Abby would probably want the little jolt of caffeine, but it was easy enough to grab the last bag of peach white tea instead. It was already out of its box, laying on the shelf right beside the Grey. Abby thanked Raven when she stepped out of the pantry with the bag, but it was half-hearted. Raven couldn’t really expect enthusiasm though; who celebrated over a bag of tea?

Apparently, bags of tea could inspire some pretty intense emotions though, because soon, Abby was crying into her cup, sniffling out “thank you,” after, “thank you.” As she’d done so many times over the last two days, Raven just wrapped her arms around Abby and held her until she’d cried herself out, knowing that sometimes it was best to just let it out, ugly emotions and all.

By the time Abby had calmed down, it was time to pick the boys up from school, but when Abby said she would go, Raven just shook her head, and said, “Abs, it’s ok. Just go lay down and try to get some rest. If you can’t sleep, maybe read? Try to take you mind of it?”

Naturally, Abby tried to push back, saying, “But, it’s Tuesday… I always pick the boys up on Tuesdays.” As arguments go, it wasn’t a good one, and when Raven pointed that out Abby at least had the decency to look sheepish about it. “Fine, you can drive, but I’m going with you,” Abby finally said, pouting like a five-year-old, but she was so cute that Raven couldn’t take offense to her snooty tone. She didn’t want to argue either, and simply, took Abby’s hand and guided her out to the car.

Besides being a great primary school, one of the reasons they’d chosen Philpott Private Academy was its close proximity to their townhouse. Within ten minutes, even with mid-afternoon traffic, they were pulling up in front of the twin’s school. Classes had obviously just let out, and there were screaming kids everywhere, but after only a minute or two of waiting, Raven spotted Nick and Jake making their way through the crowd.

Seeing them hand in hand made Raven smile. They just looked so care-free, chatting happily like they hadn’t seen each other all day, and, to be honest, other than at lunch time, they probably hadn’t. The administrators had made it a point to put them in separate classrooms, at Abby’s request. When they’d first interviewed at Philpott, Abby had brought a dozen different studies with them, all showing positive results about dividing twins at school. She’d barely gotten through the first one before the principal had said, “Mrs. Griffin, I think I understand what you’re getting at. We can put Nick and Jake in adjoining classrooms, and maybe even organize it so they have lunch at the same time. That should give them some independence without taking away from the bond that they share.”

After that, Abby had been sold on Philpott, and Raven was just excited that they could afford to send the twins to such a prestigious school. The alumni list included more than a few politicians, and even a presidential candidate. Not that Raven thought Nick or Jake would follow in those footsteps, but just the fact that PPA was where those people had gotten their start was enough for her. The treatment the twins had received since was nothing short of excellent too; at least if their excited school stories were anything to go by.

Nick and Jake were certainly excited to see Raven in the driver’s seat as they scrambled into the car, talking over each other as the settled into their booster seats and got their seatbelts on. “Mom! You’ll never guess what happened—” and “I aced my spelling test, I know it—” filtered up from the backseat at the same time, and even though Raven could barely hear one over the other, neither of them stopped either. Instead, “I just got messed up on ‘specifically,’ s-p-e-c-f-i-c-i-a-l-l-y? No, that’s not right—” and “Charlotte Shaw peed her pants… Can you believe that?” followed at a rapid-fire rate.

As hard as it was to make sense of all that, Raven eventually put two and two together, and said, “That’s sounds great, Jake, s-p-e-c-i-f-i-c-a-l-l-y, about your spelling test.” That earned her a little huffed laugh, but when she turned her attention towards Nick, and said, “Nick, don’t be crude,” Raven got a whine in response. She cut him right off though, quickly adding, “I don’t wanna hear it. What if that had been you? Would you really want your classmates laughing at you like that?”

‘No, mom, I wouldn’t,’ was the appropriate response, but when Nick said, “But, it was soooo funny?!” instead, Raven could feel herself starting to boil.

Luckily, Abby stepped into the conversation then, saying, “Nick, we’ve talked about this. Urination is the natural process that your body uses to get rid of waste. There’s nothing funny about that, is there?”

That got a muttered, “no, I guess not,” in return, but all Abby had to do was clear her throat before Nick added, “I’m sorry, Mama… I’ll apologize to Charlotte tomorrow too.”

That calmed some of Raven’s ire, but she still felt it necessary to say, “Yes, you will, and you’ll invite her to your birthday party next month too, so she knows there are no hard feelings.” Glancing into the rearview mirror, Raven could see that Nick was about to protest, but before he could say anything, Jake reached over and grabbed his wrist.

At the contact, Nick visibly deflated, nodding his head as he slumped in his seat, but the smile on Jake’s face made Raven think there was probably more going on than she knew about. When a blush quickly reddened Jake’s cheeks, Raven figured Jake had a little crush on Charlotte Shaw, and that was all the more reason to have her over for their birthday party. If the invite came from Nick, that would give Jake the perfect cover too.

The thought made Raven smile, and when she looked over at Abby, there was smile on her face too, but the tinge of bitterness that tainted it immediately made Raven reach out for Abby again. The second their fingers intertwined, Abby’s smile drifted up, but even bolstered, it still didn’t touch her eyes. Raven figured that was about the best she was going to get though, knowing that even that sad smile was probably hard for Abby to muster.

Thankfully, that smile stayed firmly fixed on Abby’s face the rest of the way home, and if anything, once they pulled up in front their townhouse, Abby’s smile got that much wider. That might have had something to do with who was waiting on their doorstep when they got home. Before Raven even had a chance to get out of the car, Nick and Jake were already screaming, “An—” “—Tavia!” Those screams got louder too, when the boys spotted the third person standing with Anya and Octavia, yelling in unison, “Lincoln! Yes!”

Once Raven and Abby let them out of the backseat, it was a mad dash across the sidewalk, both boys rushing towards Lincoln. His hands were full though, so all Lincoln could do was try to keep ahold of the bags he was holding as the boys latched onto his legs. The scene brought an actual laugh through Abby’s lips, and Raven laughed too, even as she hobbled over and took one of the bags from Lincoln. Of course, when Anya grabbed the other, all bets were off, and Raven laughed even harder when Nick and Jake managed to bring Lincoln to his knees, right there on the stoop. He was laughing too, of course, but before he could get totally overwhelmed, Raven choked out, “Ok, boys… Let’s at least get Lincoln inside before you wrestle him to the ground.”

The idea of roughhousing in the living room obviously seemed like a good plan to them, but Lincoln hesitated for a moment, fixing Raven with an apologetic look as he said, “Sorry to just barge in on you guys, but we thought a couple of extra sets of hands might be helpful right about now.”

For her part, Raven couldn’t agree more; just thinking about trying to entertain Nick and Jake until bath time was daunting, but with Lincoln and Anya and Octavia there to distract them, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. When Octavia piped in with, “Yeah, Clarke and Lexa should be here soon too,” Raven couldn’t help the way her eyes started to water. She didn’t let herself cry though, even if they were going to be happy tears. She was just going to try to enjoy her family and let the rest lie; at least for a little while.

True to Octavia’s word, Clarke and Lexa showed up no less than five minutes later; Aden cradled to Clarke’s chest, while Maid held her other hand and Lexa’s arms were also laden with shopping bags. Between the five of them, they’d brought all the ingredients for Abby’s famous lasagna, complete with stuff to make a salad and some cheesy, garlic bread too. Nick and Jake were probably the most excited about their dinner plans, but Madi was a close third, admitting in her halted, haphazard way, “So excited! Never had Nanna’s laz-anya before!”

Naturally, everyone had a good laugh at that, but when that faded, a sort of dichotomy formed. The dining table was still covered in toaster parts, so Raven and Lincoln and Lexa took the children in there, while Anya and Octavia and Clarke and Abby stayed behind in the kitchen to get dinner started. Raven was a little worried about leaving Abby’s side, but with Clarke staying behind she felt a bit better. If anyone could distract Abby for a while, it was Clarke.

By the time Raven settled in at the table, she could already hear talking and laughing coming from the kitchen, and her unease drifted even further away as she started putting the toaster back together. Jake was tentative at first, but when he started asking questions, Raven answered them, easily walking him through how the timer and shutoff switch worked. Nick was only excited by the heating element firing up, his eyes going wide as the coil of metal turned from coal black to a fiery gold in just a few seconds. It probably wasn’t the best plan, plugging the toaster in without the cover on, but it was worth it when she heard Jake say, “Oh, I get it… that coil turns power into heat… and the timer tells it when to stop.”

That basic understanding was really all Raven had been after, so after unplugging the toaster, and letting it cool down for a few minutes, Raven finally slid the cover back on. With Lincoln and Lexa there, she didn’t mention the penny that she’d found earlier, but she didn’t try to hide it either. Once the toaster was fully back together, the only things left on the table were the toaster itself, and that penny. Nick and Jake were pressed in right beside her as she put the last screw back in place, so there was no way they missed the significance of the last, lonely piece still on the table.

Just to make sure she’d driven the point home, Raven scooped the penny up and handed it to Jake, bending into his space as she softly said, “Why don’t you go put that back in your piggy-bank?” Jake’s nod was a bit somber, like he knew exactly what Raven was saying, but Raven would make sure they had a conversation about it anyway; again, just to really make her point. Still, Raven had a feeling she wouldn’t find a coin, or anything else, stuffed down in their toaster again.

Lincoln was gracious enough to carry the newly-fixed toaster back into the kitchen, but rather than head into the living room with Lexa and the kids, Raven followed Lincoln instead. She didn’t want to be obvious about it, but part of her _needed_ to check up on Abby. She smiled though, when she found her mate standing at the stove, stirring in a pot of sauce. Abby seemed to be in deep thought too, as Anya said, “We finished filling the paperwork yesterday, but it could be up to three months before we hear anything back. You’d think with three parents instead of two, it’d be easier, but apparently, there are a bunch of extra hoops we have to jump through, just because we’re a ‘non-traditional’ family.”

Despite the serious subject matter, Abby was also smiling when she turned back from the stove and said, “You’ll all be great parents… they’d be blind not to see that.” As if on cue, Nick and Jake both came storming into the room then, both shouting about a rematch with Lincoln. Before Raven could scold them for interrupting, Abby turned to them instead, and said, “Boys! How many times have we talked about inside voices?”

Abby’s tone wasn’t harsh, but both Nick and Jake straightened up immediately, obviously knowing better than to test their mama’s patience. At a much more tolerable volume, Nick quickly said, “Too many, Mama…” Jake’s apology was right on the heels of that too, as he softly said, “Sorry, Mama.”

Nick’s answer nearly made Raven laugh, and it seemed his words struck a chord with Abby too, her smile returning as she replied, “Good, now, what did you two want to ask Lincoln?”

Jake was the model of politeness after that, tugging on Lincoln’s hand until Lincoln knelt down to his level. Then, only once they were face to face, did he say calmly, “Lincoln, will you come play with us in the living room?” Lincoln didn’t answer in words, only to grunt when he scooped both of them up under his arms and started to carry them towards the door. Their inside voices didn’t stick around for long, both of them squealing like little helpless pigs, but at least, it also wasn’t long before they were out of the room.

After another stir or two, Abby deemed the sauce done, but when she started to set everything up to put the lasagna together, Octavia volunteered for the job, telling Abby in no uncertain terms, “Nah-uh-uh, out of the way, grandma… I’ve got this.” Even though she was one, Raven knew Abby didn’t appreciate actually being called a ‘grandma,’ and generally, Abby liked being shooed out of her own kitchen even less, but this time, she didn’t put up much of a fight, only looking kind of grim as she stepped away from the counter.

Once she joined Raven at the breakfast bar, Abby’s actions became a lot more telling though, as Abby clung to Raven even tighter than she had at any other point in the last two days. It wasn’t hard to see how exhausted Abby was either, her eyes gaunt and sunken, with dark circles underneath. Clarke must have noticed as well, because she stopped by the bar on her way towards the living room, and said, “Lexa and I can stay the night if you guys want… We brought Aden’s portable crib and everything.”

The gesture was sweet, and Raven didn’t have it in her to refuse, but then Abby quickly said, “We, uh, we’ll see what time it is when we’re done with dinner, ok?”

As strange and stilted as that was, Clarke didn’t hesitate to reply, “Sounds good,” like it was the easiest thing in the world. She just meandered on into the living room too, like that was just as easy.

That left Raven and Abby with only Anya to talk to, but since, Anya was still busy mixing up the salad, Raven took a moment to lean into Abby’s side. Feeling Abby warm and alive up against her, helped to alleviate some of the tension that Raven was feeling, but she couldn’t help asking, “you good?” anyway, hoping that she wasn’t overdoing it by checking in yet again.

It was only two words, but Abby seemed to understand what Raven meant, replying just as quietly, “as I can be, yeah…” At that, Abby sniffled a little bit, but it seemed that was all she was going to allow herself. Instead, Abby quickly turned their conversation back into the room, as she added, “Octavia, honey, if you use a ladle, that’ll go a lot faster.”

When Raven looked up, she found Octavia spooning sauce over a layer of cheese using a regular dinner spoon. She looked a bit embarrassed too as she replied, “Oh, yeah probably. We don’t have one at home, so I always just…”

As Octavia’s voice trailed off, Raven took pity on her, pointing just past Octavia’s shoulder as she said, “We keep ours in the utensil cup on the counter. They’re good for making pancakes too.” Octavia’s smile was still sheepish when she retrieved the ladle, but Abby had been right; within minutes, Octavia was sliding the lasagna was into the oven.

After that, there wasn’t much left to do in the kitchen, so they all moved into the living room while the lasagna baked. Somebody would have to go back in there to take the lasagna out and put the bread in instead, but that wouldn’t be for a least a half hour. There was plenty of entertainment going on in the living room anyway; though, Lincoln probably didn’t feel very amused. When Raven stepped into the room, Nick was laying across his chest, while Jake tried to hang on to Lincoln’s legs. Every few seconds, Lincoln would struggle, half-heartedly trying to get away, but Raven could also see that his chest was heaving with the effort.

Soon, Anya was tagging in, so that Lincoln could get a break, but she didn’t seem like she was going to let the boys win, even for a second. Before Lincoln had even gotten up out of the floor, Anya had Nick slung over one shoulder, and she’d locked Jake’s head under the other. Finally free, Lincoln made his way over to sit next to Raven then, breathlessly saying, “Hey, Rae,” as he settled in beside her on the couch.

At first, Raven was distracted by Anya’s rough handling of her kids, but when Lincoln nudged her shoulder, she looked over at him and said, “Hey, Linc, sorry… just trying make sure she doesn’t drop one of them on their head.” For a moment, Raven was actually worried that would happen too, but once Nick and Jake had worried Anya to the ground, she relaxed, turning her attention fully back to Lincoln as she added, “Thanks for coming over, by the way… This is nice.”

Lincoln’s easy chuckle was a little breathless still, but he seemed more put together when he finally said, “Yeah, it is. Bell and Kyle wanted to come to, but they had some stuff to take care of at the shop.” Innocuous statement or not, Raven felt guilty about it anyway, knowing that her absence for the last two days was probably the cause of their late night at work. Lincoln managed to put those thoughts to rest though, when he continued, “We actually finished up early for the day, but they’d already planned to overhaul Echo’s transmission tonight. Her car’s been sitting on the lot, what… almost a month? Anyway, Bell said that if he didn’t get it done this week, he was probably gonna find himself sleeping on the couch soon.”

To most people, that ‘threat’ was more like a joke, but with what Raven knew of Bellamy and Echo’s relationship, it seemed like a very real possibility. Not that she was judging them for that; it was more amusing than anything else, knowing that if Echo said, ‘Jump?’ Bellamy would say, ‘How High?’ That was part of why they worked so well together though; sometimes, Bellamy needed someone to wrangle him in and then not let him go, and Echo seemed to be just that someone; sweet and savvy, but a little ruthless too.

Redoing Echo’s transmission wouldn’t be a small job though, so Raven ultimately decided to say, “Yeah, he was saying something last week about needing to get it done. I guess she finally cracked the whip.” That earned Raven another husky chuckle, but when she felt Abby nudge into her other side, she quickly corrected herself, saying loudly, “I mean, I guess she finally put her foot down.” Raven chanced a glance over at the boys then, hoping against hope that neither one of them had heard her. It wasn’t that what’d she’d said was that bad but explaining ‘crack the whip’ to a pair of inquisitive six-year-olds wasn’t Raven’s idea of a good time.

Thankfully, by that point, Anya seemed to have worn Nick and Jake out, as all three of them were sitting in floor getting out Nick’s wind-up cars. The little racetrack had been a gift from Raven for his last birthday, knowing that he loved cars just as much as she did. Any time he had a little money, either from the tooth fairy, or from good behavior, he always spent it on more cars for his collection.

That year Raven had bought Jake some art supplies that he asked for, but when Nick wanted to play with his cars, Jake always played along, laughing and smiling, even though it really wasn’t his thing. At one point, Madi shifted down into the floor with them too, attracted by the pretty colors and fast movement, and before long, Lexa joined them as well, if only to keep Madi from getting her hands in every little thing.

Glancing up from the play pile, Raven found Octavia and Clarke sitting opposite her on the couch, chatting happily like they didn’t have a care in the world. Aden was probably just as happy too, suckling noisily underneath the towel draped across Clarke’s chest. Raven thought she saw a little envy in Octavia’s eyes, but that would make sense. Being told that she couldn’t conceive children had nearly crippled Octavia, and that hurt was probably still pretty fresh, as her doctor had only figured that out six months before.

Those feelings clearly didn’t get in the way of their conversation though, and every few moments, one of them would laugh or smile. By contrast, Abby was mostly quiet while they waited on the lasagna, only choosing to interject when Nick and Jake started to fight over a lost race. Even then, Abby only said a few words, but the heated look in her eye spoke much louder than she actually did. A round of apologies littered the air then, one from Nick and one from Jake, and even one from Anya. It seemed Abby’s withering look was even more effective than usual.

With that settled, Abby slumped back into her seat, but this time, Raven went with her, hoping to check in with Abby again, but before she could ask, Abby repeated her earlier words, softly saying, “as I can be…”That was easier to hear than to be believe, but in such a crowd, it was simpler to just to take Abby’s hand in her own and give it squeeze, pouring as much love and support into her touch as she could.

The oven timer went off a few minutes after that, and when Abby started to get up to go check it, Raven didn’t stop her. Octavia scrambled off the couch too, and then hustled after Abby into the kitchen. When Lexa offered to go set the table, Raven didn’t stop her either; instead, she said, “Sure, you know where everything is.” Lincoln joined her without a word, only flashing Raven a quick smile before he loped off after her.

When Raven turned her attention back to the play pile, Anya was already helping the twins put their racetrack away; although, Nick wouldn’t be rushed about putting his cars away. Each one had a specific slot and if they didn’t get put back right, he would surely whine about it. That was obviously another little bit of Abby that had trickled down, instilling Nick with that desire for control. Of course, if Nick applied that need the way Abby had, Raven was sure there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t be able to do with his life. With a sudden shock, Raven realized that Abby might not be around to see him use that inherited drive to accomplish his dreams.

Shaking her head, Raven saved herself from that dark place in the nick of time, pulling herself back from the brink of spiraling with a quick pinch to the skin above her good knee. Luckily, neither Clarke, nor Anya, had noticed the sudden tears streaming down her face, and Raven managed to excuse herself before she could well and truly embarrass herself. She met Abby on her way into the kitchen, but when Abby saw the wetness on Raven’s face, she immediately followed Raven back through the kitchen. Raven didn’t stop there though, crossing the room as quickly as she could and then moving on into the yard beyond the back door.

It was only in the cool night air that Raven felt like she could actually breathe, the sudden onslaught of anxiety had stolen her breath before she could even inhale. As Abby’s arms wrapped around her from behind, that now-familiar dread became even easier to beat back into submission. Within just a few breaths, Raven already felt her tears starting to dry up, and once Abby nuzzled down into the side of her neck, the last of them slowly trickled down her cheeks. The cloud of soothing pheromones that surrounded them grew thicker by the second too, but instead of fighting it, Raven reveled in it, allowing herself a moment to just live in it.

Then, the oven timer interrupted them again, and even though it was muffled by the back wall of the townhouse, it was still loud enough to sound urgent. Octavia was in there with the bread, so Raven knew it wouldn’t burn, but when Abby started to pull away, Raven let her, knowing they’d have to go eventually anyway. Once they got back inside, no one said a word about Raven’s swift exit, or Abby’s for that matter; the conversation turned to the spread of food instead, everyone oohing and ahhing over the melty cheese and savory scent.

The conversation shifted again once they retired to the dining room, but Raven wasn’t upset about it; especially when it turned to Clarke’s latest work. She had a new show that she was prepping for installation in an up-and-coming living art museum. Traditional museums, where they displayed some of history’s greatest artists, seemed to still be out of Clarke’s reach, but apparently, Sanctuary was a different type of museum. They choose to only display the art of living artists, and although the works usually weren’t for sale, arrangements could be made if someone wanted to purchase Clarke’s entire show as a collection. If Clarke’s work attracted the right buyer, she could stand to make a lot of money, both for her and for the museum.

As salad plates were discarded, and everyone started to dig into their entrees, the conversation turned back to dinner again. The general consensus was that the lasagna was the best Abby had ever made, and Abby blushed at the compliments that got flung her way. Honestly, Raven was pretty proud too; the lasagna really was that good. The garlic bread was perfect too, buttery and cheesy and zesty. In fact, the food was so good, that it wasn’t long before it was all gone too; even Nick and Jake had cleaned their plates. Raven thought Madi had managed to get more on her shirt than in her mouth, but from the way she was smiling, Madi had enjoyed herself, nonetheless.

Empty plates were ushered into the kitchen in twos and threes, Anya and Octavia and Lincoln each taking an arm’s load that way. Raven and Abby were then shooed out the kitchen yet again, by Lincoln this time. He was gentle about it, at least; or, gentler than Octavia had been anyway, smiling softly at them both as he said, “Go on, you two, take a load off. We’ll have this wrapped up in no time.

Lincoln was right about that too; it seemed like maybe five minutes passed before the three of them were coming back into the living room. Anya was still wiping her hands on a dish towel, and when she tossed it in Lexa’s face, everyone laughed at Lexa’s growled reaction, “Hey, what the he—ey?!” She stopped herself before she cursed, but only just, and everyone laugh a little harder at the way she seemed to squeak at the end.

With the way Anya and Octavia and Lincoln hovered then, Raven knew they were heading out, but after the day they’d already had, she realized she was actually looking forward to the quiet that would come after the left. Hugs were distributed all around, with Nick and Jake clinging to Lincoln a little longer than was strictly necessary. He was as good-natured as ever about it though, telling them he would be the one asking for a rematch next time.

The boys accepted that with probably more enthusiasm than was necessary too, but their exuberance was just too cute to be upset about their missing ‘inside voices.’ Once they all got back to the living room, Clarke and Lexa only lingered for a more minutes after that before Clarke finally said, “Our offer to stay stands, you know?”

Abby was shaking her head before Clarke had even gotten all the words out, and once she had, Abby quickly said, “And, we appreciate it more than you know, but I think we’re ok.” Abby seemed so sure that Raven felt bolstered too, nodding along with Abby’s words.

Clarke didn’t seem quite as sure, but she didn’t argue, offering them a soft smile as she said, “Call anytime, for anything... I mean it.”

It was Abby’s turn to nod as Raven said, “Even at three in the morning because I stubbed my toe?” Her tone was light, and it seemed to lighten the mood too, earning her a chuckle from Clarke.

Of course, Lexa was a little less amused, when she replied, “Yeah, only if you wanna hear me urse-cay for ten minutes before I hang up on you.”

At that, Raven couldn’t help but laugh; the fact that Lexa had resorted to pig-latin was just too much for her. When Lexa laughed too, she was joined by Clarke and Abby, both of them letting out a little snicker. The playful secrecy went right over Madi’s head and got past Nick’s too, but it seemed Jake was too quick for them, immediately asking Raven, “Mom, what’s that word mean?” That just seemed to make Lexa laugh harder, and rightfully so; it was only fair of her to leave Raven with the awkward conversation this time.

Thankfully, Raven managed to put off Jake’s questions until after he and Nick had had their nightly bath, but once they were in bed, Jake wouldn’t let it go. He was mostly babbling to himself, sounding the words out to try to figure out what they meant, when he muttered, “Urse-cay… Cay, that’s a beach thing, right? A... reef, right?” He seemed to follow a pretty strange logical leap from there though, and quickly asked, “Is that the bad news? Is Lexa and Clarke going somewhere they don’t wanna go?”

The grammar goof was the first thing Raven addressed, repeating Jake’s words back to him the right way, substituting ‘are’ for ‘is,’ but when that only seemed to frustrate him, Raven finally said, “No, Jake, they _aren't_ going anywhere.” Jake just rolled his eyes at her, clearly still upset, but Raven couldn’t be mad about the insolent gesture. Being kept in the dark was never a good place to be, apparently, even to a six-year-old. Raven choose her words very carefully after that, wanting to give him something, but not too much, and eventually she added, “There’s a chance that your mama might have to go away soon, and even though she doesn’t want to go, she may not have a choice.”

That was about as delicate as Raven could be about it, and she was grateful when her words seemed to appease Jake’s curious nature. Nick was obviously listening closely too though, as he piped up, saying, “Why wouldn’t mama wanna us to go to the beach? Vacations are fun.”

Raven almost said something rash, something like, ‘It’s not a vacation if it’s permanent,’ but she managed to reel herself in at the last second. That would only confuse the boys further, and it sounded harsh even in her head, so instead Raven said, “Vacations are fun because we’re all together, but I don’t think we’ll be able to go with her this time.”

Nick’s soft, “oh,” was the only response after that, so Raven just tucked them into their beds, hoping that they wouldn’t be plagued the worries that were already weighing her down. When she reached the door, she could tell they were both pretty deep into their own heads too, so she called out, “Try not to worry yourselves too much, boys. I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure your mama stays right here with us.” They didn’t know that Raven wouldn’t have much say in Abby’s diagnosis, and even less effect on her prognosis, but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them… would it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... I'm evil. I'm a bad person. How dare I end a chapter like that? All I can say in my defense is that I just couldn't help myself...


	3. The Diagnosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know whether you've noticed or not, but the chapters in this story just keep getting longer and longer. This chapter is just over 15k, and I think chapter 4 is going to end up somewhere around 20k. I'm very nearly there on that chapter too, so hopefully I have that one posted by the end of the week...
> 
> In the mean time, take a moment to prepare for this one. Abby is having a tough time and Raven is not doing much better, but as always, at least they have each other.
> 
> Also, the second half of this chapter gets pretty racy... I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Wednesday passed in much the same way; except that, instead of sitting around moping all day, Abby actually managed to get some work done on her computer. The sale of her article to MD Magazine meant there were some forms to print and sign. That was easy enough, and once they were scanned and sent back, Abby decided to answer a few of the emails that had begun to pile up over the last few days. The first one she read was from Lorelai Tsing, asking for a data analysis of their most recent case files. There were only three files attached, so Abby moved through those pretty quickly too, checking between several documents to compare their hypothesized readings against the actual test results.

If those preliminary numbers were anything to go by, their current trial was going very well. It was their last trail in a series of ten, so if their results continued to be positive, Praimfaya would finally be deemed ready for the open market. It had taken them nearly five and a half years to get this far but having a definitive treatment for natblidism was well worth it. Abby had already seen how Praimfaya could change lives and was eager to be able to offer it on a wider scale. From what Abby had seen, Lorelai would certainly be eager for Abby’s reply as well.

After that, Abby sorted through some of the junk in her inbox, but when she came across an email from Jackson, she opened it immediately. It had been too long since she’d heard from her old protégé anyway. The text was a bit cryptic to start, but Jackson always a flair for the dramatic. Apparently, he’d stumbled onto something he wasn’t supposed to, and ‘these things happen sometimes, right?’ When Abby got to the next line, everything became a little more transparent as she read, ‘I saw a slide in the lab today, and it had your name on it.’

Hesitating there, Abby let out a sigh, knowing what was coming next. Once she started reading again though, she was pleasantly surprised by Jackson’s restraint, ‘I didn’t look at it. I didn’t think that was fair, but I felt like I should tell you that I’d seen it. I just didn’t want there to be any awkwardness between us.’ It seemed to be a bit too late for that, but after a few moments, Abby decided that it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. If she’d been in more regular communication with Jackson, she probably would have already told him. Saint Mark’s, the hospital where he worked, had an excellent track record with double-mastectomies.

As grim as that was, Abby was actually starting to get used to that idea. She knew the surgery didn’t carry an extended recovery period, a couple of weeks of very light duty while the incisions healed, and then another six weeks of simple light duty while her muscles recovered. The emotional upheaval would probably stick around a lot longer than that, but assuming she survived chemo and radiation, and the cancer, she could opt to have reconstructive surgery later if she wanted. That was all down the road, of course; or maybe, not at all, so instead of dwelling there, Abby continued with Jackson’s email, reading on, ‘I asked Cece about it, and she said if it was her, she’d want to know, so here we are. That being said, we want you to know we’re here for you if you need anything. I mean, if nothing else, we should get dinner sometime soon.’

Abby certainly wasn’t in a ‘go out and get dinner’ sort of mood, but having Jackson and Cece over to the townhouse might be a good compromise. Although, she knew she’d need to check with Raven before making such an offer. Of course, since Raven had gone into the shop for a few hours, Abby couldn’t just ask her, so she sent Raven a text instead. A few minutes later, and a few texts later, Abby sent a reply to Jackson, inviting him and Cece to dinner at their house the following night. By then, it would be nice to have a distraction anyway.

In fact, there seemed to be no shortage on distractions. Granted, Abby should have been expecting it when Raven texted her at quarter to three to ask if she was up for company that night too. Apparently, Bellamy and Kyle both felt bad for missing out the night before, especially after Lincoln bragged all day about the lasagna, and Abby couldn’t argue with Raven’s logic for mitigating that. The fact the Bellamy and Kyle would be bringing Echo and Emori along helped sell Abby on the idea too. The twins would be on their best behavior with Emori around; the large tattoo on Emori’s face had made them wary at first, but once they realized how sweet she was, both Nick and Jake had developed a bit of a fascination with her.

Not that Abby could really blame them, Emori always had some funny story or anecdote. She was very animated too, gesturing with her hands while she talked. Abby had a suspicion that Emori’s hands were part of the twin’s attraction too, though they were far too polite to ask her about the scars on her fingers. Abby was too polite to ask too, but it wasn’t hard to figure out that Emori had gone through some very painful separation surgery at some point. Judging from the age of the scars, Abby thought Emori was probably well into her teen years before she’d had the surgery. Naturally, that made Abby even more curious, wanting to know why Emori’s parents had waited so late, but then Abby heard Emori say something about growing up in a _home_ , and that answered that.

Sitting at her desk, thinking about Emori’s mysterious, but obviously troubled past, made Abby realize something powerful though; tragedy had touched almost everyone she knew, but rather than letting it crush them, they _used_ it instead. Emori had lived half her life as a ‘freak,’ someone that other people gawked at and shied away from, but she’d hadn’t let that define her. She hadn’t just survived, she’d thrived. She let the hurt in her life drive her to be a better person, and she’d succeeded. Raven was no different; a tragic accident had nearly crippled her, but she hadn’t let it stop her from doing something with her life.

The same could be said for Clarke, after Jakes’ death, and for Abby as well. Clarke had turned her pain into a thriving art career and a beautiful family, and Abby was, honestly, happier than she’d ever been. There was no reason to let their current tragedy overtake them without a fight either. Frankly, Abby was ready for it. She’d have surgery and she’d recover. She’d take whatever pills her doctor prescribed, and she’d smile about it. She’d try to smile her way through her infusions too, and through the puking that would follow. She’d do anything to keep this little piece of paradise that she’d found.

That started with having Bellamy and Echo, and Kyle and Emori, over for dinner. Thankfully, they’d opted to do take-out, so Abby wouldn’t have to cook two nights in a row; though, Octavia hadn’t really let Abby do much more than the sauce for the lasagna. She and Anya and Lincoln had left the kitchen pretty much spotless too, but Abby was still glad that there’d be no dishes to do after their Chinese take-out was done.

The food was actually quite good too, spicy and sweet and sour at all the right moments. Nick and Jake loved their double fried noodles, both finishing their dinners in record time, and Raven barely came up for air as she devoured her sesame chicken. Abby had gone with the sweet and sour chicken, but she got lucky when Echo ordered her other favorite; szechuan beef. It hadn’t taken much to convince Echo to swap her a few bites, leaving Abby with a very happy belly by the time she was finished eating. Bellamy and Kyle and Emori seemed to be in much the same state, all rubbing their stomachs with satisfied smiles on their faces.

As expected, the cleanup took no time at all, and when Abby made her way into the living room to join everyone else, Emori had already talked the twins into starting their homework. They were all cuddled up on the couch together, Emori on one side with Nick huddled up next to her, his brow creased as he stared into his spelling book. Jake was silently reading something beside him, and Echo bookended the whole group, smiling as she looked on over Jake’s shoulder. Abby couldn’t help but smile too when she saw Jake’s lips moving, soundlessly sounding out the words he didn’t immediately recognize.

That was a trait he definitely got from Raven, who often mouthed along when she was reading something intense. Seeing both her boys deep in concentration, Abby quietly slipped into the oversized armchair next to Raven, placing a kiss on her cheek when Raven turned to look at her. Raven’s whispered, “what was that for?” was almost so quiet Abby didn’t hear her, but looking right into her face, Abby could easily read the question on her lips.

Replying just a quietly, Abby said, “no reason… I just love you,” and that earned her another bright smile from Raven. It also earned her another, almost softer reply of, “I love you too,” and that made Abby smile brighter too. Not surprisingly, everything was brighter with Raven around.

Once the twin’s homework was done, Nick wanted to show Emori his car collection, but Abby put a stop to that before it started, quickly saying, “Not tonight, Nick. It’s already eight-thirty, and it’s a school night.” Of course, that wasn’t very well received, Nick grumbling like he was thinking about talking back, but it was low enough that Abby couldn’t hear it, so she let it go. Instead, she tried to mitigate his hurt by saying, “We can have Kyle and Emori over again sometime soon. You can show it to them then, ok?” When he nodded, Abby urged him upstairs instead, when she added, “Say goodnight to everyone and then go brush your teeth. Your mom and I will be up in a minute.”

Again, Nick looked like he wanted to argue, but then Jake started hugging Emori goodbye, and suddenly, Nick wanted in on that too. Their mild obsession with Emori was cute, and she was quite gracious about it when they hung on for longer than was really comfortable. When they finally left Emori’s side, Nick went one way and Jake the other, as they hugged their way around the circle of adults. Once Nick got to Kyle, he hesitated, but Kyle just smiled at Nick as he stuck out his hand. Nick didn’t immediately take it, but Kyle didn’t seem upset. He just smiled wider as he said, “You know I work with your mom, right? I know a few things about cars too.”

At that, Nick smiled too, and finally reached out to take Kyle hand as he replied, “Maybe when you guys come back, I’ll have even more cars to show you.”

Kyle’s response was just as easy, when he said, “Maybe when we come back, we’ll bring you a new car for your collection, but you’ll have to be really good ‘til then, ok?” Nick’s nod was much more enthusiastic this time, and that enthusiasm seemed to carry over on his way upstairs; Abby could hear him babbling excitedly all the way to the top. As his voice trailed off, Kyle directed his next words to Abby and raven instead, when he said, “I hope that’s alright… We could bring something small for Jake too, maybe a new book?”

Raven replied to that before Abby got the chance as she quickly said, “Wick, that’s definitely alright… Jake loves Shell Silverstein and Doctor Suess. ‘Oh, the places you’ll go’ would be a good one for him, it’s the next one on his reading list.” Kyle quickly agreed, saying that he’d loved Doctor Suess when he was a kid too.

After that, they said a few more quick goodnights, before Abby and Raven finally followed the twins upstairs to give them their baths. That was easier said than done as both of them were a little keyed up from all the excitement, but after nearly twenty-five minutes, they were finally in their pajamas and on their way to bed. Raven offered to put them down for the night, but Abby lingered in the doorway for a few minutes, just listening to Raven read them a story. She’d chosen one of the Berenstain Bears books, which were some of Nick’s favorites, but Jake seemed just as captivated by ‘The Big Honey Hunt.’

Still, it wasn’t long before their eyes started to droop, and Raven didn’t even get halfway through the book before they had both nodded off. She kept reading anyway, but Abby figured that was for her own piece of mind; Raven never did like leaving things unfinished. Once the book was back in its place, Abby held out her hand to Raven, and when she took it, Abby lead them towards their bedroom.

Feeling kind of gritty, Abby knew a shower was in order, and she suspected Raven felt the same way, so instead of stopping off in their room, Abby moved right on into their bathroom and started to disrobe. Without a word, Raven reached into the shower to turn the water on, and then started to take her clothes off too. By the time they were both naked, the water had warmed up considerably, but it wasn’t quite hot enough yet. That was alright though, especially when Abby felt Raven’s arms wrap around her from behind.

A deep sigh escaped when Raven’s face pressed in between Abby’s shoulder blades, the nuzzling gesture making Abby feel warm even without the shower spray running over her. The touch wasn’t necessarily sexual, however, even when Abby felt Raven start to kiss up her spine. Naturally, once, Raven’s face was nuzzling into the back of her neck, all the little hairs there stood straight on end. When she felt Raven’s lips press into the mating mark on her neck, a shiver of arousal shot out along Abby’s nerves anyway, but it was fleeting, more like the memory of feeling than the actual thing.

That might be because the contact actually was fleeting, as Raven soon pulled away and stepped into the now-piping, hot shower. Abby followed her, of course, hoping to continue building the tension that was growing between them. Even with that hope though, Abby knew that if anything did happen between them that night, it probably wasn’t going to happen in the shower. After that one time, when Abby had nearly fallen out of the tub, they hadn’t really tried to contend with the slick floor again.

Besides, getting clean together was almost as fun, just in a different way. It was nice to be able to enjoy Raven’s body, without the urgency of passion clouding her mind. Abby enjoyed every minute of it too, running her sudsy hands all over Raven’s body, from the top of her head to the bottoms of her feet. Raven actually giggled when Abby washed in between her toes, and Abby enjoyed that even more, exploiting that little ticklish spot that Raven had in between her big toe and its neighbor.

Rinsing Raven was an exercise in patience, but that was only because Raven was obviously starting to get restless. Whether it was from arousal or anticipation, Abby wasn’t sure, but either way, she was powerless to resist when Raven moved to return the favor. Raven’s strong hands felt wonderful too, as they scrunched in Abby’s hair, washing her scalp as well as her hair, and when their slightly rough texture roamed over her skin, Abby felt a certain amount of arousal and anticipation herself.

The citrus scented body wash that coated Raven’s hands just compounded those feelings, making her feel sort of invigorated and relaxed, at the same time. The way Raven kneaded her muscles probably helped with the relaxation part, but something about the tangy smell was working for Abby in other ways. Raven’s lips chasing after that scent, trailing over every freshly-rinsed inch of her, might have had something to do with that, but when Raven’s mouth inevitably ended up filled with foam, Abby was just as turned on by the soapy aftertaste in her mouth; especially when it was Raven’s tongue that put it there.

The fact that Raven also choose that moment to slip a hand down in between Abby’s thighs, did things to Abby too, particularly when Raven offered to wash her _undercarriage._ To be honest, the first time Raven called it that, Abby nearly laughed herself out of the tub, but when Raven husked, “ _Would you like to upgrade your service today, Ma’am? Maybe, a triple-coat wax? Or… an undercarriage wash?”_ Abby’s humor quickly turned into hunger instead.

It was part of a game they’d played once, a little role-play that Raven had thought up, where she was a car washer in one of those fancy hand-wash places, and Abby was this rich customer who obviously needed to unwind. If Abby remembered correctly, Raven had helped her unwind at least a half a dozen times that night. Obviously eager for a repeat of that, Abby spread her legs a little wider and said, “Yes, please,” but Raven didn’t seem satisfied, only teasing along the seam between her thigh and her sex as she waited. Abby knew what she was waiting for though, and quickly added, “Yes, I think an _undercarriage_ wash sounds like a good idea. It’s been quite a while...”

That was part of game too; the sultry, aloof answer, verging on flirtation but nothing too overt. That character didn’t really come easy for Abby, but if Raven wanted to play service-top for a little while, Abby certainly wasn’t about to deny her either. Just the idea of six or seven orgasms made Abby feel looser; she could only imagine how relaxed she’d feel after she’d actually had that many. It seemed that the first one was destined to happen right there in the shower too, but once Raven was finished washing her, she only teased the tip of Abby’s clit for a few seconds before she pulled her hand away, claiming proudly, “Alright, Ma’am, now, time for a rinse.”

At least, it seemed that tease was going to be well worth it. Once Abby was thoroughly rinsed, Raven shut off the water, and then quickly shuffled out of the tub. Abby nearly reached for her arm when she stumbled, but Raven righted herself before Abby got the chance. Raven stumbled through drying herself as quickly as she could too, and before Abby knew it, Raven was drying her instead. Not that Abby minded that, of course; Raven’s touch felt just as good through the towel. Raven’s next words were part of the script too, but that didn’t mean Abby didn’t feel just as dirty when Raven said, “Is there anything else you need, Ma’am? We are a _full-service_ operation.”

The whole ‘taking advantage of the help’ thing was cliché, and Abby knew that, but that didn’t stop her from giving the prompted response, “Oh, there’s plenty of things I can think of that a _strong girl_ like you could help me with.” Those words had the expected response too, as Raven’s grip on her towel tightened for just a moment. Naturally, once that towel fell by the wayside, Raven’s touch felt even better without it in the way.

Roaming palms and kneading fingers pulled Abby towards their bedroom, and she went along willingly, sighing every time she felt Raven’s blunted fingernails drift over her skin. By the time they made it to the bed, Abby was already throbbing for attention, her clit pounding along with her heartbeat, but when Raven guided her down onto the bed with a gentle push, at least, Abby knew she wouldn’t be aching for long.

Case in point, Abby’s first climax came only a minute later; Raven’s strong fingers driving her over the edge far too fast. When Abby cried out, Raven didn’t even slow down; instead, she quickly replaced her fingers with her mouth, lapping and sucking up Abby’s second release. Raven’s tongue teased Abby all the way through another peak before Raven finally pulled away, but by that point, Abby couldn’t blame her for being winded; Abby, herself, hadn’t taken a full breath since Raven had first laid her out of the bed.

It seemed Raven was ready for a little reciprocation by then, but all Abby could do was lay there as Raven moved to straddle her lap. The first brush of Raven’s soaked sex sent yet another throb racing through Abby’s clit anyway, and soon, Raven was riding in her in earnest, grinding herself down against Abby’s still-stiff clit until they were both panting their way through release. Obviously, Abby didn’t mind sharing an orgasm with Raven, but she really didn’t mind when Raven changed the pace again either, ultimately drifting back down in between Abby’s thighs to taste their combined flavor.

Lips and teeth and tongue teased her for another few minutes, but when Abby felt Raven’s fingers join in again, she had a feeling knew what was about to happen. Still, she gasped when she felt a single finger start to circle her slim entrance, not really seeking permission, so much as offering Abby the chance to say no. After four orgasms, Abby knew she was more than enough slick to add that finger’s passage, so without a second thought, she bucked her hips into the pressure and said, “ _please_.”

Something about feeling Raven push inside her nearly broke Abby right there, but when that single finger curled forward, Abby screamed anyway. Raven’s lips were still wrapped around her clit, sucking like Raven was actually drinking for her, and that new pressure inside her seemed to swell every time Raven crooked her finger, until finally, Abby thought she might explode if she didn’t come again soon.

Of course, as if she didn’t feel full enough before; another one of Raven’s fingers pushed in next to the first, and Abby let out a shout at the unexpected increase in pressure. Raven’s groan was just as loud as Abby’s moan though, and the fact that Raven enjoyed feeling her like that, just sent Abby hurdling that much higher. All she needed was one thrust, and Abby was seeing stars, whole constellations worth, her vision filling with little, floating white dots.

The ‘doctor’ part of her brain knew that was from the strain, but as wave after wave of pleasure poured out of her body, Abby didn’t much care what her ‘doctor’ brain had to say about it. In fact, after now-five, earth-rocking orgasms, Abby could barely remember her own name. Raven wasn’t helping with that either; the fingers inside Abby had stilled at some point during her last climax, but they certainly hadn’t pulled out yet.

Only once the last of Abby’s release had finally drifted away, did those strong fingers start to move, but it seemed Raven only pulled out to thrust back inside again. The slow, steady rhythm of Raven’s thrusts drew Abby right back up to the brink, but it wasn’t until Raven’s teeth grazed her clit that Abby knew she was a goner; she was pretty sure when she came this time, she was going to pass out. That was nearly the case too, as those little white dots turned black right before her eyes. Thankfully, Raven seemed to realize what was happening and pulled back just before the blackness could overtake her, but Abby felt lightheaded and loopy after the near miss.

With her senses were still overloaded, Abby drifted in a sort of ‘sea of nothingness’ state for a while anyway, but once she could take in the world around her again, she quickly realized her own services were now needed. At some point in her drifting, Raven had shifted up in the bed, and was now lying next to Abby instead of between her thighs. She was clutching tightly to Abby’s arm, her fingers digging in every few seconds as her muscles tensed and jumped. The muscles in her lower half were doing much the same thing, causing Raven to squirm against Abby’s side, clearly frustrated and restless.

It wasn’t hard to guess why either; as much as Raven liked making Abby come, Abby knew she really liked it when Abby made her come as well. Abby thought Raven would appreciate keeping with their game a little longer too, and even though, her voice was breathy and weak when she tried to speak, she still managed a sort of husky allure when she said, “That was i-incredible… please, allow me to _compensate_ you for your services.”

With that, Abby rolled towards Raven as best she could, trembling on her still shaky limbs. She didn’t hold herself over Raven, knowing that Raven liked feeling her weight, but Abby propped herself up a little anyway, not wanting to restrict her own movement. That allowed her to slip a hand down in between them, and when her fingers met Raven’s soaked core, Abby could do nothing but gasp at the amount of slick she found. She couldn’t keep herself from commenting either, as she said, “At least it’s good to know you enjoy your work.”

Raven huffed and her hips hitched up, but Abby quickly shifted her hand away, so that Raven barely caught the end of one of her hovering fingers. That made Raven let out a whine, and then another huff, but eventually, Raven conceded, choking out, “I— I do. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else… I _love_ it.”

The unspoken, “I love you,” flipped a switch inside Abby, and as she moved her hand back down to cup Raven’s swollen sex, she said the only thing she could say, simply, “I love you too.”

Incidentally, those were the last words spoken for the rest of the night, but that was mostly because after another pulling two orgasms out of Raven’s body, and sharing a third (read: seventh) with her, Abby was too wrung out to do much more than flop down next to Raven and then, promptly fall asleep.

When she woke the next morning, it was to a suspiciously empty bed, but when she heard the sounds of movement downstairs, Abby figured she’d just slept late. That was odd for Abby, of course, as she was usually up at the crack of dawn, but add in all the extra stress she was under, and Abby was even more shocked that she’d slept as soundly as she had. She remembered getting up in the night to relieve herself, but after that, nothing; she didn’t remember anything about Raven getting up with the twins, and the coming of the sun hadn’t touched her sound sleep.

Surely, by that point, Nick and Jake would be wondering where she was though, so Abby didn’t linger in the bed for long. Instead, she sped through her morning routine, brushing her hair and teeth with efficiency before getting dressed in whatever she laid her hands on first. Getting dressed in a hurry wasn’t necessarily the best idea, of course, as Abby ended up with mismatched socks and one of Raven’s shirts, but she figured she could always change after Raven left to take the boys to school. She thought Raven had mentioned going into the shop for a while after that, so Abby would have nothing but time before her conference call at ten.

Slipping on her house shoes, to cover her mismatched socks, Abby eventually made her way downstairs to the kitchen, only to find Raven struggling her way through packing lunches and making breakfast at the same time. At first, it was cute, watching Raven totter around in the kitchen, but when she reached for one of their bigger knives, Abby decided to step in, saying, “Morning, honey… Need some help?”

Raven was shaking her head before the words were even out of Abby’s mouth, and she was already half through quartering the apples when she said, “Don’t worry, Abs. I got this. Just gotta cut up these apples and then lunch is done.” Needless to say, in the time it took for Raven to core and slice the apples, she nearly overcooked the twin’s oatmeal, and in her haste to save it, she managed to spill orange juice all over the counter too.

Still, the boys seemed pleased with their oatmeal, both excited about the amount of cinnamon covering the top, and the number of raisins hiding beneath the surface. Abby suspected there was a decent amount of butter in both bowls too, making the oatmeal taste even richer, but at their age, Nick and Jake would likely burn off the extra calories before lunch. When a third bowl of oatmeal appeared on the counter in front of her, Abby’s suspicions were immediately confirmed; she could actually see where the butter had melted underneath the cinnamon, creating a little swimming pool of spice in the middle of the bowl. Raven had added flax seed and barley to her portion, but the rich buttery oatmeal more than made up for the slightly bitter additives.

A year before, Abby had added flax to her diet to help lower her cholesterol, but the barley was something new; a suggestion that had come from Dr. Snider actually. Apparently, barley had a reputation for lowering her risk for heart disease, and cancer. Obviously, that hadn’t worked out so well, and Abby couldn’t help how the bitter barley made her feel bitter too. She didn’t let that feeling stop her from finishing the oatmeal; she needed the calories and carbs, but she definitely had to swallow the last bite twice when it seemed to get stuck in her throat.

By that point, Nick and Jake had both finished their bowls, scrapped them clean with the edges of their spoons. Then, they were bouncing on their way out the door a few minutes later, excited about the coming school day. Raven lingered after them long enough to give Abby a quick kiss, before she was on her way out the door too, a soft, “see you at four,” coming from over Raven’s shoulder.

Alone, and with hours to kill, Abby took a few minutes to tidy up the kitchen, rinsing out the breakfast bowls in the sink before slipping them into the dishwasher. She made her way upstairs then and changed socks, but she decided to keep Raven’s t-shirt on, hoping Raven’s dwindling scent would help keep her calm through her day. That worked for a while too, but an hour into her conference call, Abby was starting to feel that now-familiar depression seep back into her thoughts.

The subject of the call wasn’t helping keep Abby’s mind out of those dark places; all budget finalizations and marketing pitches, but when one of the investors said something about profit margins, Abby found herself much more interested in the conversation at hand. He seemed to think that anything less than thirty percent profit was unacceptable, but Lorelai put him in his place about that, calling back at him, “That’s not why we’re doing this, Russell, and you know it.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Russell replied, but when he did it was with a snarl in his voice as he said, “That’s exactly why I’m doing this, _Lorelai_. Thirty percent is a minimum if I’m to regain my investment with _interest_.”

Russell’s snide, mocking tone seemed to make Lorelai even more angry too, her next words nearly shouting as they came down the line, “You will see a return on our investment… at the rate that’s already been discussed. I will not jeopardize people’s lives over a measly hundred dollars.”

For a moment, a loud huff seemed to be Russell’s only reply, but then his tirade started all over again, when he shouted back, “Measly Hundred Dollars! Are you out of your mind?! We’re talking about hundreds of thousands—”

By then, Abby had pretty much heard enough, and she quickly let everyone on the call know it, interrupting Russell as she growled, “Who decides how much a life is worth? You, Russell Lightbourne, _the seventh_? With your fancy cars and your flashy suits, and dwindling family fortune?” She knew that was a bit of a low blow, but Abby keep right on going, the anger and frustration from the last few days leaking out as she said, “Do you honestly think that your investment is worth more than somebody’s life? That people should die, just so you can make a dollar? I mean, do you have _any_ idea what happens to people with natblidism without treatment?”

Whether it was her aggressive tone, or the gruesome truth behind her words, everyone seemed to take a moment to let that sink in, but Abby really only paused to take in another breath, before she added, “I think, you should take your five percent per quarter like we agreed, or prepare yourself for a very messy, public lawsuit when we sue you for breach of contract. I’m sure the press would love to find out that you’re willing to gouge terminal patients just to make a profit.”

Honestly, Abby wasn’t sure they could actually sue him, but it seemed that Russell wasn’t willing to risk it. Being an unruly sort of alpha, he still grumbled like he was going to fight back, but in the end, he finally said, “I’ll take my five percent… but be sure, this is the last time I invest _my money_ in some mad scientist’s wet dream.” Vulgarity aside, Abby was glad to hear that; the world of medicine certainly didn’t need a man like Russell Lightbourne. She decided right then, that if she and Lorelai opted to do this again, they’d certainly be vetting their investors better next time.

Of course, that depended on Abby surviving for the next five years to make that happen, but she couldn’t dwell on that thought for long, not when the conference call finally turned to her area of expertise. She presented their current test results as calmly as she could, even though her blood was still boiling from Russell’s arrogance. Reciting the numbers soothed her though, and by the end of her little speech, Abby managed to actually sound pleased when she proudly stated, “Another few weeks, and we’ll be ready for peer review and publication. Once that happens, we can officially petition for public consumption.”

That earned Abby a round of applause, though the enthusiasm only lasted for a few moments before Lorelai wrapped up the call, asking that all interested parties attend a similar meeting the following week to discuss their next round of test results. Abby was pretty sure she heard someone hang up in the middle of Lorelai’s invitation, and when Russell was the only one not to sign off, Abby was secretly happy that she hadn’t had to hear his voice again. Maybe if she was lucky, she wouldn’t ever have to hear from him again.

Those hopes were dashed only an hour later, when Abby received an email, entitled, ‘An Apologia.’ As apologies go, it was lackluster at best too, but when she read the excuse Russell gave for his behavior, Abby couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Apparently, his mother had left him swimming in debt when she died, and Russell had only just managed to dig himself out of that hole when he’d invested in Praimfaya. Now, he had three kids to feed and a wife who had ‘grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle.’

It was obvious that he was stressed out, and cracking under the pressure was definitely something Abby could understand, so she tried to be gracious in her response; although, she couldn’t help but put in a little taunt about ‘knowing when to downsize.’ Before she sent it, she read back through her reply, checking it for typos, and when she got to the dig, she almost changed her mind about it, but ultimately, she knew she was right. She didn’t know the exact details of Russell’s finances, but in her opinion, the best way to have money, was to _not_ spend it.

The hours after that crept by, but eventually, Abby found something to distract her from her monotonous thoughts. Raven texted her around three to say that she was picking up a roast for dinner on her way home, and then maybe fifteen minutes later, Jackson texted her, saying that he and Cece were bringing potatoes-au-gratin and string beans to eat with the roast. That left Abby just enough time to make some bread to eat with dinner, and as it turned out, kneading the dough was exactly what she needed. Working the dough was cathartic and calming in itself, but slamming the dough down onto the counter to shock it certainly helped her work out some of her earlier frustrations.

Naturally, those frustrations were replaced by new ones when Raven got home with Nick and Jake but having to coax the twin’s into doing their homework was far less harrowing than having people’s lives hinging on her words. It was actually kind of nice, falling into the normalcy of it, knowing just what to say to get Nick and Jake to do what needed to be done. Before long, Nick was plowing through his reading assignment, only pausing long enough to ask what a ‘brook’ was before continuing on with his reading. By contrast, Jake was mumbling a mile a minute, trying to noodle his way through some brain teasers that had been assigned by his math teacher.

Once Jackson and Cece arrived, the twin’s concentration flew completely out the window, but at least, they only had a handful of questions left to answer between the two of them, so Abby decided to cut them loose. It wasn’t hard to get them to agree to finish up after dinner, especially when Abby suggested that they might get an extension on bedtime if they were good. Of course, what she didn’t tell them, was that extension would still be served in bed, just with an extra story or two before lights out. They would probably complain about that bit of trickery, but Abby was sure they wouldn’t grumble for long. In fact, with the way their eyes were already drooping, Abby wasn’t sure they’d even make it through a second story that night.

Dinner seemed to invigorate the twins a little bit, but just as Abby expected, Jake was passed out before she finished with the first book, and Nick only made it through the first few pages of the second one. And, just like Raven had done the night before, Abby continued on until she finished the story, knowing that she wouldn’t be satisfied unless she read through to the end. Nick and Jake certainly didn’t seem to mind, both of them snoring quietly by the time Abby replaced the book on their bookcase, but when she stepped out into the hallway, she heard Jake call out to her.

Turning back into the room, Abby saw him with his arms out and immediately knew what he wanted. Without a word, she settled next to him on his bed, smiling as she watched him rub his eyes and yawn at the same time. Clearly, he was overtired, but Abby’s presence seemed to soothe him, so it wasn’t long before he was snoring once more. Thankfully, he didn’t stir when Abby got up a few minutes later, leaving her free to go to bed herself. When she got to her bedroom, Abby found Raven waiting for her in their bed, snuggled under the blankets with a book propped up on her knees.

Raven’s focus shifted almost instantly as Abby entered the room, her book cast off onto her nightstand without a second thought. Then, it was Raven holding her arms out to Abby, and Abby couldn’t resist her any more than she’d resisted Jake, settling next to Raven on their bed so she could cradle Raven to her chest. Soon, there were tears staining Abby’s shirt; although, she couldn’t really be sure if they were Raven’s or her own. Of course, it didn’t really matter who they actually belonged to; Abby knew she owned them anyway. Now, she just had to use them, too.

~~~

If Wednesday and Thursday mornings had been rough, Friday morning was torture. All through their morning routine, Raven had to act like everything was fine, when, in fact, things were very much _not_ fine. They were still hanging in that same limbo they’d been in all week; did Abby have cancer or not? Raven had hoped that when Dr. Snider said, ‘no later than Friday,’ she’d really meant that Abby’s test results could come in before then. Of course, here it was, going on eleven on Friday morning, and they still hadn’t heard anything.

Raven had suggested twice in the last hour that they just call the office to see if they had any updates, but Abby had talked her down both times, saying, “They’ll let us know as soon as they have something to tell us, honey… We just have to try to be patient.” That was easier said than done, however; Raven felt like there was a live wire touching her skin, making her jittery and tingly all over. She couldn’t seem to sit still for very long either, pacing back and forth from the living room to kitchen every few minutes like a caged animal.

On maybe her fourth meaningless trip into the kitchen, Abby put a stop to that though, calling Raven over to her as she said, “Rae, you might wanna come look at this?” That got Raven’s attention, but when she turned back towards Abby, Abby was staring down at her phone, a look of disbelief on her face.

Hustling back to Abby’s side, Raven almost tripped over the edge of the rug, but she managed to get her good foot down before she went toppling all over Abby. She settled in next to her instead, immediately glancing over Abby’s shoulder to look at her phone. On the screen, was an email from Dr. Snider’s office, asking if Abby was available for an ‘immediate, in-person appointment.’

The intensity of those words wasn’t lost on Raven, and clearly, they’d had quite the effect on Abby too. She still hadn’t looked away from her phone, her eyes dry and hazy from not blinking. Raven knew she had to do something to snap Abby out of this daze she’d fallen into, so she gently pried the phone from Abby’s grip and then set the phone down on the coffee table. Raven took Abby face in her hands then, cupping her cheeks as she said, “Abby, whatever they have to say, we’ll hear it together, ok?”

For a moment, it was like Abby could barely look at her, but eventually, she met Raven’s eyes and softly said, “yeah, together.”

Abby was quiet after that, and Raven didn’t push her to talk; instead, she just took Abby’s hand and said, “Come on, we can call them from the car.”

That call was blissfully short, but also maddeningly vague. The nurse they spoke to wouldn’t reveal anything about Abby’s test results, only saying that Dr. Snider would go over everything when they got there. At least, Dr. Snider didn’t keep them waiting; before they’d even taken a seat in the waiting room, another nurse came to collect them, and then, escorted them back into Dr. Snider’s personal office. They’d barely managed to settle in the expensive-looking chairs across from Dr. Snider’s desk, before the woman herself appeared in the doorway.

Dr. Snider didn’t mince words then, either; the door to her office clicking closed behind her as she said, “Abby, thank you for coming in so quickly. I’ll cut to the chase as well. You appear to have developed Stage II breast cancer…” Even though she’d imaged this exact scenario a dozen times over the last few days, Raven wasn’t prepared for that; not in the slightest. She suddenly wished she’d done some sort of research, done something to prepare herself better, because for a long moment, all she could think was, _Stage II? What does that even mean?_

Thankfully, Dr. Snider seemed like she was used to that question, because she was answering it before Raven even had a chance to ask, saying, “Due to the tumor’s size, we have to classify it that way, but there is a bit of good news. There was nothing in your test results that would indicate a spread to your lymph nodes, so it seems we’ve caught it early.”

To Raven, that wasn’t really ‘good news,’ but when Abby spoke, she sounded relieved as she said, “So then, what’s our first course of action?”

Dr. Snider hesitated for a second, obviously not pleased with the options she had to offer, but at least her voice remained steady as she replied, “You have some options, of course, but I would suggest some localized radiation to see if we can shrink the tumor. If it responds well, then we should be able to remove it with minimal invasion. If not… then you’re probably looking at a mastectomy.” Dr Snider paused there, considering her words for another moment before she eventually added, “Chemotherapy is an option as well, but I— I feel like that might be too aggressive at this point.”

Abby seemed to accept that, but Raven wasn’t so sure. In her mind, no treatment was too aggressive if it meant that Abby got to watch Nick and Jake grow up. She trusted Abby’s judgement though, so when Abby said, “Alright, radiation it is, then,” Raven could do nothing but agree.

Once they’d scheduled Abby’s first treatment, they made their way out to the car, but Raven couldn’t help feeling like they’d simply traded one type of dread for another. Instead of fearing the unknown, there was now a fear of failure in its place. That feeling of fear was the key to it all though: the fear of rejection, of death, of abandonment. Every person who had ever claimed to love Raven had abandoned her at one point or another. First, her father had disappeared before she’d even been born. Then, her mother had neglected her for most of her childhood, until she’d finally just left Raven to rot in that hospital.

After that it was hard to trust anyone at all, but when Raven finally did, Finn had abandoned her too. His betrayal was more subtle, more devious, but at least, Raven had made something of that. Meeting Clarke was definitely one of the best things that had ever happened to her, and it had set some many other things in motion, but Raven couldn’t help wondering if fate hadn’t taken yet another dark turn that night. Abby wasn’t choosing this; Raven knew Abby didn’t want to abandon her, but if Abby didn’t fight, if she didn’t take the most aggressive approach she could, did that mean that Abby didn’t care enough in the first place?

By the time they got home, some of her mood must’ve crept over into Abby, because soon, Abby was shifting in her seat like she was uncomfortable. Raven tried to tone down her dejection after that, but once they made their way inside, Abby finally said, “Do we need to talk about it? The chemo thing?”

At just the mention of ‘chemo,’ all of Raven’s fear came bubbling out, and her mouth could barely keep up as she stammered, “I just… you said you would… and now I don’t… I mean, it’s stupid but… do you even care?”

Abby’s shocked expression made Raven wince, suddenly realizing what she’d actually said, but she also knew there’d be no taking it back. Frankly, Raven wasn’t sure she wanted to; the biggest reason they’d made it this far was raw, sometimes brutal, honesty. Still, all she could do was stand there as Abby sputtered in her face, “How— How could you? Of course, I care, honey… How could you think I don’t?” Those words hurt, but Abby’s tone was more astonished than accusatory, making Raven feel even worse, like Abby couldn’t even fathom what would make Raven think that way.

After all they’d be through, both separately and together, Raven wasn’t sure what made her thoughts spiral that way either. It seemed like a logical leap when she’d first made it, but hearing it out loud, out of her own mouth no less, just made the idea seem that much more ludicrous. Abby cared about her, loved her, unconditionally, and deep-down, Raven knew that, just as absolutely. That hadn’t stopped her from saying what she’d said, of course, and Raven knew she had to own up to that, but she was afraid that if she didn’t explain it right, she’d just end up making things worse. She had to try though, so after a couple of deep breaths, she finally managed to say, “You said— you said, you’d fight, and I believed you, but then Dr. Snider says chemo _might be_ too aggressive and you don’t even question her. It’s just… What if she’s wrong? What if—”

Raven’s voice cut off there, before she could say the worst of it, but the unspoken ‘—you die?’ still hung heavy in the air. Abby didn’t miss a beat though, quickly took Raven in her arms as she said, “Oh, honey, I know you’re scared. I am too, but we can’t— we can’t let that fear tear us apart.” It seemed like Abby was getting a little choked up too, but somehow, she pushed through the roughness in her voice to add, “You and Clarke and the boys are all I care about, but honestly, I’m not sure I’ll make it through this without _you_.”

When the sincerity behind those words touched Raven’s heart, she suddenly felt ten times lighter. She was _needed_ ; her specifically, and no one else. Her mate needed her to be strong, to just be there for her, and that was something Raven knew she could do. She could, and would, care for Abby, no matter what happened, all because Abby cared for her so much in return. Part of that was telling Abby how much Raven needed her as well, so Raven quickly quipped back, “Well, I’m not making it through this without you either, so don’t you dare die on me.” As morbid and blunt as that seemed, her words lightened the mood considerably, earning her a wet chuckle from Abby, and Raven thought making Abby laugh was step in the right direction.

Another part of caring for Abby was helping her restore some normalcy to their lives, and that started with taking Madi and Aden in for a night, so Clarke and Lexa could celebrate their anniversary. Raven wasn’t quite prepared for the chaos that ensued, but Abby seemed thrilled to have so much life in the house. Raven watched as Abby cooed over Aden every chance she got, and she smiled when Abby suggested that they all camp out in the living room for the night.

Pillow forts were built, and then torn down and rebuilt. Nachos were eaten, and everyone had a scoop of chocolate ice cream for dessert. With the lights down low, it was the perfect atmosphere for some ghost stories too, and Raven was all too happy to tell them, smiling over at Abby every time one of the children gasped or squealed. Of course, those scary stories lead to some nightmares, and by morning, they were all cuddled in the same fort together, but when Raven woke to find Abby holding Aden to her chest, she couldn’t help but smile all over again. Abby had looked beautiful holding their sons when they were that age, and she absolutely glowed holding her grandson, but there was something about that moment that made Raven wish they had another little baby of their own to hold.

Once she’d thought that, Raven couldn’t unthink it either. A few days later, when she was one the phone with Octavia, their conversation was totally centered on babies, and when everyone came over the following Sunday for family dinner, it seemed like all they talked about was babies then too. Less than a week later, even Bellamy brought up the subject, when he suddenly said, “I think Echo wants to start trying, _you know, trying_ … It’s just— Her hints haven’t exactly been subtle. I mean, she brought home a fucking foster puppy last weekend, and then joked about me needing _practice_.”

His comment was obviously supposed to be casual, but with everything else that was going on, Raven couldn’t help the way his words made her feel. Suddenly jealous that they even got the chance to try, Raven also couldn’t help the way adrenaline raced through her veins. Before she knew what was happening, she was gripping her wrench so tight that her knuckles had turned white from the strain. Her heart felt like it was about to beat out her chest too, pounding so hard she could feel the muscles in her neck pulsing with every beat.

Then, it seemed like her blood was carrying more than just that shot of adrenaline. Just as suddenly, that flash of jealousy shifted deeper, turning into a sort of yearning instead. For what, Raven wasn’t quite sure, but when she felt that first itch form just under her skin, she realized that in all her distraction, she’d completely forgotten about her heat. A quick calculation later, and she figured it was right on time, but that certainly help her cope with what was happening.

Acknowledging it only seemed to intensify her feelings, that itch spreading so rapidly that Raven like her skin had caught fire. One minute, she’d been totally fine, waist deep in this old Cadillac that needed a new carburetor, and now, she was burning up, sweating all over the open engine compartment. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, Bellamy was still working on the other side of the car, supposedly flushing the transmission fluid, but when Raven looked up at him, Bellamy was the one who was flushed. His nostrils were flared, and his eyes were wide, and when he said, “Rae, I think maybe you should head home,” Raven was sure there was a little extra gravel in his tone.

It was odd that he was reacting to her scent like that, her being mated to Abby and all, but when she felt the tell-tale cramps already starting to set in, Raven realized her unexpected heat was going to be a bad one too. She managed to make it out to her truck, with a little help from Emori, but once she was behind the wheel, Raven wasn’t sure she should actually be driving. It seemed that Emori knew that though, because before Raven could even think about putting the keys in the ignition, Emori was climbing up into the truck, scooting Raven across the bench seat, so she could drive instead.

A minute later, Emori was handing Raven her phone, saying, “You should call Abby, let her know what’s going on.” That sounded like a solid plan, but when Raven finally focused long enough to actually call Abby, all she heard were five long rings before Abby’s voicemail picked up. Somewhere in back of Raven’s mind, she knew Abby was supposed to have had a radiation treatment that morning, but since it was nearly two in the afternoon, it was definitely odd that Abby didn’t answer.

Thankfully, Raven’s next call was answered, but this time she was calling Clarke. On the fourth ring, Clarke’s voice finally came down the line, as she said, “Hey, Rae… what’s shakin’?”

Raven’s immediate urge was to shout, ‘Me!’ but she had just enough sense not to make the joke. Instead, she tried to sound as calm when she said, “Hey, I _need_ a _favor_.” Clearly, her tone wasn’t nearly as collected as she meant it to be, but before Clarke could question her, Raven plowed on, quickly adding, “Can you pick the boys up from school… and keep them through the weekend?”

Her hesitation seemed to inspire some trepidation in Clarke too, because Clarke stuttered as she replied, “Uh, yeah? What’s— what’s going on? Is it mom?”

In that moment, Raven could have slapped herself. Of course, Clarke would think something awful had happened, but Raven didn’t let her worry for long, immediately blurting out, “No! God, no, it’s— it’s my h-eat…”

Raven’s voice choked off there, as a round of cramps rolled through her lower belly, but it seemed Clarke got the idea, as she quickly said, “Ah, ok, ok, good… Yeah, I can pick up Nick and Jake. Lexa and I will have to rearrange some things, but they can stay with us, no problem.”

Relieved that the twins would be taken care of, Raven rang off with Clarke, thanking her before she hung up. She tried Abby’s cell again after that, but she got voicemail for a second time. It was just as troubling as the first time too, but by then, Emori was pulling up in front of her townhouse, so at least Raven wouldn’t have to wonder where Abby was for long; that is, if she could actually manage to make it inside. The rolling wave of cramps was still surging through her body, and Raven stumbled before she could even reach the stoop.

Thankfully, Emori managed to catch her before she fell, but feeling Emori’s arm wrap around her waist made Raven’s stomach fall anyway. At least, once they started to climb the steps, Raven started to feel better too. In fact, as soon as Abby’s scent hit her, Raven felt much better. Indeed, she felt so good, that when Emori shyly said, “Feel better?” Raven couldn’t help smirking as she shot back, “Oh, don’t worry… I’m about too.” That made Emori blush a little bit, but Raven didn’t pay her much mind; instead, she just waved before she made her way inside.

The kitchen and living room were both still and quiet, and Abby’s office was empty too, but when Raven eventually found Abby passed out asleep in their bed, she knew she shouldn’t be mad. The thing was, during her search for Abby, Raven’s heat had come roaring back to life. Her skin felt like it was about to burn off and her insides had twisted into such a knot that Raven was worried they’d get stuck that way. Add in that awful, hollow emptiness that always came with her heat, and Raven was beyond frustrated; she was starting to feel sick with it.

Here was her mate, _asleep on the job_ , both literally and figuratively, and even though, Raven knew that the radiation treatments usually wiped Abby out, she still let out a whimper of disappointment. The sound must’ve been louder than Raven thought, because Abby awoke with a surprised yelp, but it was only a few moments before Raven heard her groan in pain instead. Her heat-addled brain didn’t allow her to be too concerned, but Raven did manage to say, “You— you-ok?” before she started to strip off her shirt. She suddenly couldn’t stand the weight of it against her skin.

The fabric was clingy, soaked with sweat, and in her haste, it got caught up around Raven’s head. That muffled Abby’s reply, but once Raven finally wrestled her shirt off, she found Abby was stripping down too. Normally, just the sight of Abby’s naked skin delighted Raven, but with every nerve singing out for Abby’s touch, Raven needed more, and she needed it now. Too bad her brain chose that moment to stop communicating with her feet; before Raven could take another step, she started to collapse instead. On her way down, Raven heard Abby groaned again, but Abby only just got to her as she hit the floor.

Being horizontal wasn’t necessarily a bad thing though, especially when Abby started to peel off the rest of Raven’s clothes right there in the middle of their bedroom floor. The cooler air in the room helped Raven cool down too, but it wasn’t until Abby’s warm weight was settled on top of her that Raven started to feel some peace. Oxymoron or not, Raven reveled in the feeling of Abby’s heated skin brushing against her own, and when she felt something hard and hot bump up against the inside of her thigh, Raven felt even more at ease. Her sudden heat was about to be sated, at least for a little while, but then Abby abruptly pulled away, and said, “Wait, wait, did you— should I get—”

The interruption made Raven want to scream, but somehow, she managed to hold it in. Abby had every right to be concerned, because even without finishing her sentences, Raven knew what Abby was concerned about. Losing track of her heat, Raven obviously hadn’t had a chance to go the pharmacy to get her quarterly suppressant shot. If she’d gotten it, she would still have a heat, but the effects would be less _intense_. Naturally, the shot also included an extremely effective birth control agent too, which, in that moment, was probably more important than a little less itchiness.

Long story short, without the shot, Raven was in for a long, brutal heat, and she could easily get pregnant, even if Abby didn’t knot her. Of course, in her current state, Abby’s knot was all Raven could think about: stretching her, filling her, _breeding_ her. Those images certainly didn’t include a condom either, so Raven simply bucked her hips in Abby’s direction and panted out, “ne—ed y-ou… just— you… please.”

Her words weren’t elegant, or even coherent for that matter, but something about the desperation her voice seemed to do the trick. Before Raven could blink, Abby’s length was brushing up against her folds, smearing the slick that had gathered there. That distracted Raven from Abby’s hushed reply, but she still felt it when Abby whispered, “ _anything you want_ ,” against the side of her neck.

Soon, Abby was panting against her throat instead, her hips pumping steadily in between Raven’s thighs. Abby’s stiff shaft was filling Raven to the absolute brim too, when it was inside her anyway. Abby’s swift rhythm didn’t allow for that for long, but every time Abby pulled out, Raven knew she wouldn’t be left empty for long either. That blistering pace continued for quite some time too, but eventually, Abby just couldn’t get as deep anymore.

The rock-solid knot at the base of Abby’s shaft might have something to do with that, but honestly, Raven wasn’t sure which she liked better: the long, fast strokes, Abby rutting into her very core, or Abby’s hot, heavy root threatening to stretch her beyond the breaking point. Ultimately, her omega instincts decided for her, forcing another desperate, “ _please,”_ out of her mouth the next time Abby pushed forward.

Abby’s hips stuttered for a moment as she shifted Raven’s butt up onto her bent knees, but the new angle brought Raven almost to tears. Abby felt so much _bigger_ and her knot really did threaten to tear Raven in half, but once Abby pushed all the way inside, Raven was too relieved to care about a little pain. Abby’s hands settled on top of Raven’s thighs as she came, with enough force to hold Raven down when her muscles started to jump and twist as her orgasm spread through her whole body. The restraint just made Raven come that much harder though, making her clench and shudder around Abby’s knot.

Only a few moments later, Abby’s fingers were digging in further, as the first spurt of Abby’s come gushed over into Raven. A cry shot out of Raven’s mouth then too, as her peak rose even higher, the feeling of Abby filling her with seed tipping her over the edge all over again. Every pulse that followed extended Raven’s bliss even further, until she was so full of Abby’s come that there was no way she wasn’t going to get pregnant.

That thought didn’t phase Raven though, not until Abby’s shaft gave one last lurch inside her. Even then, all Raven could think was, maybe, just maybe, another baby was exactly what she needed; what they both needed. Besides, if Abby’s fate was already decided then at least Raven would have one more piece of her to hold on to after she was gone. That might have been her most morbid thought to date, but Raven couldn’t help taking comfort in it anyway, knowing that, if the worst did happen, she’d need any comfort she could get.

By the time Abby’s knot had started to go down, Raven was raring to go again, but she did at least let Abby move them to their bed, before Raven pounced on her. Then, Raven was straddling Abby’s hips, riding her on her knees, Abby staring up at her through hooded eyes. Abby was obviously enjoying the visual, and honestly, Raven enjoyed the sight of Abby’s prone form, but Raven couldn’t stop imagining what Abby would look like if she actually had to have a mastectomy. With each new image, a question followed: _Would she have a scar? Would she even have reconstruction afterwards? Would Raven find Abby less attractive if her chest was left lopsided because of it?_

The answers to some of those questions was beyond Raven’s comprehension, but as she clenched around Abby’s length, she realized that it wouldn’t matter if Abby had both her breasts removed, the love and adoration shining in Abby’s eyes was more than enough to get Raven going. The way Abby’s hips stirred and stilled under own didn’t hurt either; knowing that Abby would deny her very nature just to let Raven have this moment on top, was maybe the biggest turn on of all. Especially, when Raven could feel how much Abby wanted to roll her over and rut her into the mattress.

Abby was always so considerate though, letting Raven take what she needed, letting Raven ride her into the mattress instead. Raven did just that too, rocking back and forth over Abby’s knot for a long time before she finally pushed down to take it fully inside. Abby filled her almost immediately too, but Raven couldn’t really blame her. After nearly a half-hour of riding Abby’s shaft, Raven certainly wasn’t far behind her. Maybe, it was Abby’s climax that actually triggered Raven’s, or maybe, it was the way Abby’s hand slide down in between her thighs; either way, Raven’s orgasm was _explosive_ , suddenly ricocheting its way through every muscle, every nerve, every cell of Raven’s body.

Still shuddering from the shockwave, Raven eventually collapsed onto Abby’s chest, panting both from the ecstasy and the exertion of the moment. Abby was still shuddering inside her too, her shaft slowly pulsing out the last of her release. Each spurt caused another tremor to shoot out along Raven’s nerves, but sadly, it wasn’t long before those trailed off to nothing. The stillness left Raven feeling exquisitely full, but there was something off, some part of her that wasn’t quite sated.

For a long, few moments, Raven couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but when Abby’s arms finally wrapped around her waist, she suddenly found what she was missing. When she’d collapsed, she’d been too high to notice the stiffness underneath her, but as Abby started to relax, Raven realized that Abby must have been uncomfortable. She hadn’t said anything, of course, but Raven thought it might be the way their bodies fit together, stomach to stomach, chest to chest. Maybe, Abby was having some of the same thoughts Raven had, about the changes that might have to happen to her body, so Raven did what she could to try to lighten the mood, croaking out, “I— I love you, Abs… Every part of you, even the traitorous ones…”

A dry, harsh chuckle vibrated against Raven’s chest, but she could tell there wasn’t much feeling behind it. Still, she didn’t get a chance to elaborate before Abby husked, “I love you too, honey… every _traitorous_ inch of me loves you…” That wasn’t quite the response Raven was hoping for; it wasn’t quite what she was expecting either, but she didn’t get an opportunity to react to that either, as Abby quickly continued, “Let’s get some sleep, huh? These old bones need a rest before I have to go pick up the twins.”

It was Raven’s turn to chuckle then as she replied, “Well, since Clarke is picking them up and taking them home with her, maybe let’s take a nap and then you can bend me over the kitchen table instead?” Abby’s shocked gasp was worth the effort, as was the sudden lurch of movement inside Raven, but when Abby’s hands dug into her hips and started to pull her closer, Raven decided that maybe she liked pushing Abby’s buttons a little too much. Still, when Abby forced her hips into a slow, but steady rhythm, Raven couldn’t help but add, “Or maybe, you’d rather we go in your office, so you can make me take your knot while I’m on top of your desk?”

Clearly, Abby liked that idea; at least, if the way she jerked and groaned was anything to go by, but when Abby turned her fantasy back on her, Raven couldn’t hold in a gasp of her own. There was just something about the way Abby said, “ _Oh, I think we can do both_ ,” that pushed Raven’s buttons right back.

Incidentally, it was over an hour before they made their way down to the kitchen, but that was because Abby filled Raven twice more before her knot actually started to deflate. By then, Raven was so full she felt like her eyeballs were floating, but at least, she managed to save their sheets, opting for a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up there instead. Abby perched herself on the side of the tub while Raven wiped and flushed, and once her hands and face were washed and clean, Abby held her hand the whole way down the stairs.

Once they were actually in the kitchen, Raven’s growling stomach made a few protests, but when Abby stuffed her full while she stuffed her face, Raven felt like she was on top of the world. Straddling Abby’s lap felt incredible as always, and the fact that Raven was facing away from her this time added a little extra naughtiness, but just as soon as Raven’s sandwich was gone, Abby made oh-so-good on Raven’s little tease from earlier.

The shift was so sudden that Raven’s whole world seemed to tilt on its axis, and even with her upper body now pressed firmly against the kitchen table, she still felt like the room was spinning. There was no time to recover before her feet were being unceremoniously kicked apart, and when she felt Abby slam back inside her, she was screaming before Abby even bottomed out.

At the sound, Abby’s hand on her lower back pushed down even harder, and then the other came up to clench in Raven’s hair. Raven was completely at Abby’s mercy then, and more harsh, heavy thrusts followed, as Abby built into a staccato sort of rhythm. Every withdrawal was slow and deliberate, making Raven _feel_ every inch of Abby’s length, but then when Abby slammed forward again, it was so hard that Raven’s mons bumped roughly into the edge of the table.

The pressure wasn’t quite enough to force Raven over the edge as well, but one particularly brutal thrust caused Raven’s clit to actually make contact with the table’s unforgiving surface. She screamed all over again, as the pain broke over her body, but with that feeling came an even more powerful one; the pleasure of her mate completely losing control. Abby was like a wild animal after that, thrusting so roughly that Raven was sure she’d be bruised in a dozen places when they were done. Not that Raven cared, she was too busy trying to keep up to do anything except mutter, _“fuck… yes… fuck…”_

That’s what this was too; Abby was fucking her within an inch of her life, and simply, Raven couldn’t get enough of it. She loved Abby’s primal side, rutting into like she was built to be bred. She reveled in Abby’s demanding grip, both on her lower back and in her hair, happily allowing her body to sag into the force being applied there. As Abby’s hips repeatedly smacked into the back of her thighs, Raven gave herself over to that too, crying out in sheer delight every time Abby brought their bodies crashing back together.

Abby’s knot formed slowly, and Raven even managed to slide over it a few times, but when she heard Abby let out a pained groan, Raven knew their end was coming. Abby’s next thrust fell much short of the others, but thankfully, that didn’t mean Abby used any less force. Trapped in between the table’s hard edge and Abby’s knot, something had to give, and before Raven could even blink the tears from her eyes, her entrance slipped open and allowed Abby fully inside.

Endorphins flooded into Raven’s system, but when Abby didn’t flood her as well, Raven’s orgasm trailed off rather quickly. Abby’s refusal to fill her felt like the worst kind of denial, and Raven tried to buck back into her, but when Abby shuffled forward instead, Raven understood that Abby just wasn’t done yet. The new pressure forced Raven further up onto the table, and when her clit made contact with the table again, she realized Abby’s intent; Abby was going to make her come at least one more time before she filled her.

However, only if it had been just once more; by the time Abby finally spilled over into her, Raven felt completely raw from overstimulation. She’d lost count somewhere around her fifth orgasm, but as Abby started to spurt inside her, Raven suddenly became aware of several things at once. At some point, Abby’s hand had moved down from Raven’s hair and slid under her body, to trap her clit in a vise-like grip between her fingers. The tip had become even more exposed to the table then, so much so that Raven would swear that she could feel the grain of the wood scrapping over her skin.

Abby had slumped down over her body too, her chest hovering only inches above Raven’s back. That must’ve have happened sometime around Raven’s third orgasm, when her bad leg had finally given out under the pressure of holding her up. Raven certainly hadn’t complained about it at the time; if anything, Abby’s total control over her body had just made Raven come again that much sooner.

There were a few alarming things too, like the amount of wetness on the back of Raven’s neck; although she couldn’t be sure if it was sweat or saliva, or something else. She tried not to think about what that something else might be too, but the way Abby grunted through her release was just as troubling, each one sounding harsher than the last. In fact, by the time, Abby’s length had stopped spilling inside her, Abby sounded more like she was sobbing than breathing.

Splayed out, still face down on the table, there wasn’t much that Raven could do about that, but she wiggled her arm down far enough to latch out Abby’s wrist with her hand. She gently pried Abby’s fingers free from her clit and the sudden release of pressure sent a shiver coursing through Raven’s veins, but Abby just let out another sob, so Raven ignored her body’s urges and quickly clasped their fingers together instead.

The contact seemed to soothe Abby almost immediately, her sobs quickly choking off into more breathy sighs. They stayed that way until Abby tears eventually dried on the back of Raven’s neck too. There really wasn’t much choice, with Abby’s knot sealing them together, but even after Raven felt that seal start to loosen, she held Abby’s hand until she just couldn’t stand the slow trickle of fluid anymore. Raven held out as long as she could there too, only giving Abby’s hand a releasing squeeze when she lost the trail of wetness to the nerve damage in her leg. She figured if they didn’t move soon, there’d be a mess to clean up when they finally did.

Thankfully, Abby had enough sense to grab a clean dishtowel from the drawer in the kitchen to catch their release before it made its way to the floor. Raven wasn’t much help, of course, but really, she could barely even stand there long enough for Abby to wipe her down. Even though several minutes had passed, she muscles still felt weak and overused, and her good leg threatened to give out on her more than once, causing her to grab the wet edge of the table to keep herself upright.

Feeling the sticky surface made her smile though, thinking about getting absolutely railed by Abby only a half hour before. It was a rare occasion that Raven got to have Abby while she was completely unhinged, but at least, Abby made it worth her while when it did happen. A half a dozen roughly hewn orgasms had undoubtedly left Raven feeling sore, but in a ‘feel it for days’ sort of way. Her heat wasn’t over either; she could still feel it coiling around her lower belly, just waiting for its time to strike up again. They made it as far as the couch in the living room, before Raven couldn’t put one foot in front of the other anymore, but it seemed that was where Abby was leading them anyway. She took to the couch first, curling up with her back against the cushions, but Raven was more than happy to curl up in front of her; she always loved being Abby’s little spoon.

With Abby’s arms wrapped around her from behind, it wasn’t long before sleep was pulling at the edges of Raven’s consciousness, but she felt herself smile again, when she heard Abby whisper, “anything you want,” against the back of her neck.

When Raven awoke, she was in much the same position as when she’d fallen asleep, but there was one notable difference. Rather than feeling Abby’s relaxed form wrapped around her from behind, Raven felt all hard muscle and barely restrained tension. At least, it was still Abby behind her; Raven could tell from her scent alone, but the straining shaft that was pushed up against her ass told Raven a different story.

It was only then that Raven noticed the tinge of pain in Abby’s scent, that acrid sting of harsh discomfort underlying her usually crisp, clean smell. Raven immediately wondered how long Abby had been stiff and ready, just waiting for her to wake up. During her past heats, Abby hadn’t had any problem waking her up by swearing the leaking head of her shaft against Raven’s lips, but obviously, this time, Abby had more restraint. The question was, why?

Honestly, Raven loved it when Abby woke her up like that; she loved drowsily sucking the head of Abby’s shaft while she got acclimated to the world. She loved it even more when she was awake enough for Abby to push deeper, so she could swallow around the tip of Abby’s length instead. She loved the sights and the smells, and _good god_ , the taste; Abby’s pre-come always tasted like drinking straight from a fresh mountain stream.

On that particular morning, however, Abby had chosen to hold herself back, had chosen to suffer in silence, and to Raven, that just wouldn’t do. There was no reason for Abby to suddenly treat her any differently than she had a few hours ago, and Raven was going to make sure Abby knew that. First, she shifted back just a little bit, like she was just wiggling in her sleep, but when she heard Abby let out a soft little groan, Raven couldn’t help the way she reacted. She quickly pressed herself further back into Abby’s thick length, and growled, “Why isn’t that in my mouth already?”

Luckily, it seemed that her tone was the perfect mix of demanding and pleading, because soon, Abby was forcing her over onto her back and then hovering just inches above her face. Abby’s length looked glorious up that close, veins pulsing and muscles jerking, but it wasn’t until the sticky head was leaning down towards her mouth that Raven really appreciated how incredible Abby looked. The superb view of Abby’s stiff shaft notwithstanding, Abby’s hips formed a pleasant ‘V’ just behind it, trying in vain to direct Raven’s attention back down. Her abs were taught and rippling just beyond that, the soft movements making Raven feel mesmerized, but the sight of Abby’s breasts hanging heavy above her abs struck Raven even more dumb.

Raven’s mind filled with images of Abby hovering over her like that, with only half her breasts still intact, but instead of letting those pictures turn her off, Raven decided to appreciate what she had in front of her instead. She was going to appreciate those heavy breasts as long as she could too, reaching up to cup them before Abby even had a chance to push past the seal of her lips. The head of Abby’s shaft slide in soon anyway, as Abby’s hips jerked downward, but Raven was ready for her, opening her mouth wide to take Abby in as far as she wanted to go.

The sudden sensation of heat must’ve hit Abby pretty hard, because Raven felt her shaft give a forceful lurch as soon as she started to suck. Raven didn’t back off though; if Abby blew her load in less than a minute, Raven would count that a personal success on par with any other that she’d made in her life. That’s not to say that Raven didn’t enjoy it when Abby backed off instead, because all too quickly, there was a hand fisted in the back of her hair pulling her up as Abby thrust down again. The stroke drew up short, Abby only teasing the back of her throat, but feeling Abby use her exactly how she wanted, made Raven’s own arousal grow tenfold.

By the time Abby was pushing deeper into mouth, Raven was squeezing Abby’s breasts in time with her thrusts, using her grip as a barometer for much she could take. It turned out that she could take a lot too, because it wasn’t until Abby’s stomach was brushing against her nose that Raven had to try to get Abby to slow down. Abby understood her sharper grip almost immediately, and pulled back to let Raven breath, but the second Raven’s grip relaxed, Abby pushed all the way back in; maybe even going just that little bit deeper. Abby held herself there until Raven squeezed sharply again too, but once Raven was ready, she happily took Abby’s shaft down to the very back of her throat.

Eventually, the loss of oxygen made Raven feel a bit swimmy, but every time Abby pulled back, all Raven wanted was for Abby to cut her airway off once again. She was going longer and longer in between sharp squeezes too, letting Abby choke her until she nearly passed out. Of course, once she felt Abby starting to tremble and trickle inside her throat, Raven knew the end was nigh, but she couldn’t help hoping that Abby would hold on just a little bit longer. To Abby’s credit, she made a valiant effort there, but a few swift strokes later, Raven got surprised and ended up swallowing around the very tip of Abby’s shaft.

The sudden constriction seemed to be Abby’s undoing, but as an ocean of fluid flowed into her throat, Raven couldn’t really be upset. Her instincts took over for a moment, swallowing Abby’s come as it swamped her mouth, but it wasn’t long before the volume was simply to much for her, spilling out the corners of her mouth and dribbling down her jaw. That was alright though; Abby made sure to clean her face really well, using her tongue to push those last few dregs of come back up from Raven’s jaw and into her mouth. Raven sucked at Abby’s tongue almost as desperately as she’d sucked her off, suddenly hungry for every last drop of Abby’s crisp come.

Abby’s lips didn’t leave Raven for a long time either; first, trailing down her jaw to her neck, before eventually settling over her chest. The gentle kisses and light suction felt like Abby was worshipping her skin, but when those lips wrapped around one of her nipples, it was Raven who was calling out, “OH, god, yes…” Her hands found their way to the back of Abby’s head, trying to keep her there, but Abby pressed back into her grip and started trail further down instead. Then, Abby was sucking dark marks into the junction of her hip and thigh, driving Raven crazy with how close she was to where Raven needed her to be. At least, Abby didn’t resist when Raven started to jerk at her hair again, directing Abby over just an inch, and as Abby’s lips finally wrapped around her clit, Raven cried out again, “Yes! God! Yes!”

Abby sucked her so well that Raven barely had a chance to inhale before her breath was catching in her throat, scrapping harshly against the well-used muscles there, making Raven’s voice crack when she tried to repeat her chant. That didn’t seem to matter to Abby though; if anything, Raven’s rough, “y-y-es… pl-ease, y-es,” made Abby try that much harder. Then, it seemed like Abby was all over her, touching her everywhere at once. A firm bit of muscle pressed against Raven’s entrance, and teeth scraped against her inner lips; groaning vibrations shivered their way inside Raven’s core and her clit pulsed and swelled under the pressure of Abby’s top lip rubbing fervently against it.

Already overwhelmed, Raven had no choice except to follow Abby’s lead, but when she felt Abby’s hands dig into her hips, holding her down, Raven simply lost it. Her legs thrashed and her abs cramped up, as the first wave of pleasure washed over her. Her fists clenched in Abby’s hair and her insides rolled and throbbed, as those waves quickly spread along her nerves. Another round of tremors vibrated along her clit then too, as she gushed into Abby’s mouth, but Raven was so far gone that she couldn’t even begin to care about the mess they were making. Cleaning up stains was exactly why they’d bought an upholstery cleaner in the first place.

When she came down, the sight of Abby grinning up at her made Raven feel even more overwhelmed, seeing Abby’s happy smile shining with wetness making her clench and moan. Abby was obviously ready for more too, because not long after that, she was scooping Raven up off the couch and carrying her upstairs. They only made it as far as the first landing on the stairs before Abby had to stop, bracing herself against the railing for a moment before continuing on. Raven tried to protest then, telling Abby, “You don’t have to carry me, you know?” but clearly, Abby wouldn’t hear of it, letting out a little growl as she hoisted Raven up a little higher and then kept going.

At first, Raven thought they were going back to their bedroom for another nap, but when Abby veered off on the second floor, she realized that Abby was planning to make good on her other tease from earlier too. To be honest, Raven wasn’t sure she could take another round like they’d had in the kitchen, but when Abby gently deposited her on top of her desk, Raven knew this time wouldn’t be anything like that.

Abby was already stiff again, poking into the back of Raven’s thigh, but she didn’t rush, lavishing Raven’s chest with kisses and nips before lining herself up with Raven’s soaked center. It was a slow push inside too, Abby meeting and holding Raven’s gaze the whole time, like she was watching for any sign of discomfort. Abby didn’t have to worry about that, Raven was more than ready for another round, but Raven wouldn’t trade Abby’s tenderness for anything.

That affection lingered long after Abby had bottomed out, but as Abby led them into a gentle rhythm, Raven felt something deeper take root. With the way Abby was looking at her, Raven wondered how she could have ever thought that Abby didn’t care about her. She didn’t feel guilty about her doubts, at least not anymore, but seeing the utter devotion in Abby eyes, Raven knew she’d never wonder things like that again. That surety brought with it a sense of calm, of understanding, that Raven had quite felt before, and in that understanding, she found peace.

Shortly thereafter, Raven found bliss too, as Abby sealed their bodies together once again, but it wasn’t until Abby was sucking at the mark on her neck that Raven truly let herself go. There was a moment when Raven thought she might shake until she fell apart, and there was another moment where she thought she was actually floating, but when she felt Abby fill her, Raven remembered it with perfect clarity. The hot surges and the throbbing pulse, the trembling muscles and the heated moans; yes, Raven would remember of _that moment_ for the rest of her life.


	4. The Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm posting this a bit later than I had intended, and again, I'm sorry for that, but I just wanted it to be as perfect as I could make it. Honestly, I probably should have spilt this into two chapters too, but I just felt like it all went together, and I'm sure no one is going to complain about a 20k word chapter.
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!!!

It had been nearly two weeks since Raven’s heat had ended, and honestly, Abby was starting to get antsy about it. Raven’s period was late, by a week or so, but Abby was trying not to get her hopes up based on that. Recent stress could have messed up Raven’s schedule, or maybe, Raven had lost track of her period the same way she’d done with her heat. Either way, waiting for Raven’s cycle to begin or not was tedious, but if Raven actually was pregnant, Abby figured the endless anticipation would be worth it.

It didn’t help that Raven was glowing, like she had when she’d been pregnant with Nick and Jake, but Abby thought that might have been because of how happy Raven seemed. There was this perpetual smile on Raven’s face, even when the twins were acting out, and when she and Abby were alone together, Raven seemed even happier. They cuddled up in bed almost every night; sometimes talking about mundane things, like the new car that Raven was working on, or Abby’s recent Praimfaya news, but more often than not, Raven choose to share the little daydreams she’d had that day, or her hopes for the future. They were all nice dreams, and Abby tried to share in Raven’s enthusiasm, but just as often, Abby struggled to concentrate, her impending mammogram looming over her.

If the radiation treatments were working, then it would be all sunshine and rainbows; she’d have the lump removed, follow up with Dr. Snider a couple of times, and that would be the end of it. If they weren’t working… well, Abby really didn’t want to think about that. She did, of course; it was as if every waking minute was filled with worrying and stress, but when Raven said things like, “I think I want a girl this time… maybe a little blonde girl, like Clarke?” Abby found it a little bit easier to relax. She wasn’t sure she was ready for another precocious, spirted girl like Clarke had been when she was young, but Abby knew she wouldn’t be upset having another grown daughter like Clarke; she just had to live long enough to see that.

Thoughts like that brought on more worries though, and most of those centered around leaving Raven with the twins, and a newborn, if it was _her time to go._ Of course, Abby desperately hoped that it wasn’t, that she was going to kick cancer’s ass and not even bother to ask its name, but the closer she got to her mammogram, the further away those hopes seemed. It was just so hard to keep a happy thought when she felt like she could fall asleep at any moment.

The radiation treatments weren’t fun by any means, but her last one was a doozy, leaving Abby feeling even more rundown than usual. She managed to rally long enough to pick up the twins, knowing that Raven wouldn’t be able to get away from the shop until late, but the second they got home, Abby felt herself flagging. At least, the boys were used to her being wiped out on Friday afternoons, so they settled in front of the TV with no complaints. Abby made it through the first ten minutes of their movie before she felt sleep overtake her, but when she woke up, it seemed the movie had been over for quite a long time.

Fluorescent lights beamed down from overhead, startling Abby for a moment, but once her eyes adjusted, the light blue colored walls alarmed her even more. No room in her house was painted that color blue; the only place she’d ever seen that color was on the walls at CCMC. The beeping heart monitor in the background and the oxygen tube running under her nose confirmed that’s where Abby was, but she couldn’t remember anything about going to the hospital; in fact, she couldn’t remember anything after Peter had whisked everyone off to Neverland.

Naturally, her heart monitor started beeping faster, the disorientation making her feel panicked, but once the door to her room opened, Abby felt better instantly. Raven strode into the room with purpose, eyes wide and hopeful, but Abby saw Dr. Snider, and another doctor she didn’t know, were right on Raven’s heels. Out of the corner of her eye, Abby spotted Clarke and Lexa too, looking in through her window, but once Raven was within arm’s reach, everyone else faded away.

The look in Raven’s eyes was anguished then, like she didn’t know whether to be happy or angry, but when she spoke, it was obvious the anger was winning out. “Don’t— don’t you ever…” was all Raven managed to say before her voice cut off, but Abby got the idea. Tears were soon streaming down Raven’s face, but Abby couldn’t see that, not with Raven’s face suddenly pressing into the side of her neck. She felt the wetness against her skin instead, and as Raven sobbed, all Abby could do was offer Dr. Snider and her colleague a polite smile as they waited all for Raven to calm down.

That took quite a while too, but eventually, Raven pulled away from her neck. The shift caused a twinge of pain to sear through Abby’s chest, and she nearly cursed, thinking one of her heart-monitor pads had gotten caught on her gown. When that sharp, burning sensation continued, Abby almost reached up and tore the pad off, but once she actually looked down at her chest, Abby immediately stilled. Apparently, a lot of time had passed since Friday afternoon because, from her collarbones down, Abby was flat as a board. Seeing her body _mutilated_ like that made bile bubble up into her throat, but Abby bit back against the urge to vomit.

Surely, there’d been exigent circumstances, some reason why Raven had allowed Dr. Snider to do this to her; Abby just had to be patient. That was easier said than done, of course, but Abby managed to keep herself from groaning when Dr. Snider vaguely said, “Abby, I’m so glad to see you awake. You gave us quite the scare, you know? If it weren’t those incredible kids out there…” Dr. Snider’s voice trailed off as she gestured towards the window, and when Abby let her eyes follow, she found Clarke and Lexa both smiling back at her, with Nick and Jake hoisted up in their arms.

The way they all waved tugged at Abby’s heart, and she knew just from their enthusiastic flapping that she scared all of them too. She didn’t have too long to dwell on that though, as Dr. Snider’s colleague finally introduced himself, stepping forward as he said, “Dr. Griffin, I’m Dr. Vinson Craig, Head of Oncology.” He paused there, like he was trying to add gravity to his title, but he simply sucked in a quick breath before he added, “Due to your past relationship with CCMC, I was asked to personally oversee your care, and I can assure you that any… _treatments_ you have received in the last three days have been with your best interest in mind.” That was about as reassuring as it could be, but Abby certainly got caught up on the ‘three days’ part of his statement. She couldn’t believe that she’d been unconscious for _three days._

Obviously, Dr. Snider didn’t expect her to either, at least not without an explanation. She quickly gestured towards the chair next to Abby’s bed, and when Abby didn’t protest, she settled into it as she said, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

It was such a cliché question that Abby almost didn’t answer, but she knew it was a conversation starter, an icebreaker, so she begrudgingly said, “Peter Pan singing about flying.”

The glib answer made Dr. Snider chuckle for a moment, but her seriousness soon took over again when she replied, “Well, at five after five on Friday, Emergency Services answered a rather interesting call from your cell phone. Apparently, when your sons couldn’t wake you up after their movie was over, one of them called 911, while the other _assessed_ _your vitals_.” Dr. Snider paused to chuckle again, but it was only a brief interruption before she added, “I haven’t heard the tape myself, but it seems your son Jake might have a future in medicine someday. He relayed a pulse of forty-eight to Emergency Services and when EMS arrived five minutes later, they reported forty-nine.” Dr. Snider paused again there, as if she was trying to let that sink in, but before long, she pushed on, saying, “Once EMS deemed you stable but unresponsive, they brought you here to CCMC until your next of kin could be contacted.”

Raven grumbled against Abby’s shoulder then, bitterly adding, “Yeah, single most pleasant phone call of my life,” but Abby could tell there was more to it than that.

It wasn’t the time to press for an explanation though, especially when Dr. Craig spoke up, saying, “I dealt with that situation personally as well, Ms. Reyes.”

There was a certain finality to his voice, like he’d ‘dealt with it’ with prejudice, but Abby didn’t get the chance to hear that story either, as Dr. Snider broke back into the conversation, saying, “Raven called me, en route, and I joined her here about a half hour later.” As much as Abby appreciated the play-by-play, she was starting to get frustrated, but when Dr. Snider continued, those frustrations quickly gave way to fear instead. Still, Abby tried to follow along as Dr. Snider said, “Working closely with Dr. Craig and his team, we determined that you had an extreme reaction to your most recent radiation treatment. As you know, fatigue is a common side-effect, but in some cases, that fatigue can cause an unconscious-like state.” That explained the bone-tired ache in Abby’s head, but it certainly didn’t explain why they’d performed a double mastectomy without waking her. Dr. Snider soon cleared that up though, quietly adding, “We made every effort to wake you, but we were obviously unsuccessful. That led us to perform a CT, just to be sure there weren’t any other contributing factors, and that’s when we found these.”

At that, Dr. Snider rifled through the folder in her lap for a moment, before handing a single page to Abby. It was a full color print-out of one of her CT slides, and Abby didn’t need the bright yellow circles drawn on it to see the problem. Not only was the tumor in her left breast the same size as before, but there were two other unexplained voids in her right breast. One of them was no bigger than a pea, but the other one was roughly the size of a penny. Those voids certainly hadn’t shown up on her last mammogram; Abby had poured over every single image they’d taken that day. That meant they’d developed some time in the last six weeks, and despite Abby’s daily self-exams, she hadn’t noticed anything different.

As much as that made her feel like a failure, Dr. Craig soon let her off the hook for it, when he said, “What you’re looking at are the widest points of both masses, but the subsequent slides showed them at drastically reduced sizes, meaning that even the most stringent home-exam wouldn’t have revealed anything out of the ordinary.” For his kindness, Abby offered him a soft smile, even though she knew that failure would hang over her every day for the rest of her life, however long that may be.

Thankfully, Dr. Snider rescued her from those dark thoughts, when she added, “Considering the rapid development of these two new masses, I feel safe to say, our only option was immediate surgery.” Abby nodded, realizing that it didn’t matter that she’d been unconscious, she would have said the same thing, but as Dr. Snider continued more bile rose up into her throat, “During the procedure, we discovered some suspicious tissue surrounding one of your lymph nodes, and with Raven’s permission, we removed that tissue, as well as the node itself.”

Raven let out another sob then, and the sound echoed through Abby’s entire body. She suddenly realized just how wrong she’d been, how wrong Dr. Snider had been. She should have asked for chemotherapy from the very beginning; she should have insisted on it. Sure, it would have weakened her worse than the radiation treatments, would have made her feel sick and weak and frail, but at least if she’d gone through with it, maybe she would still be _whole_.

Staring down at her chest again, Abby felt like something important had been stolen from her, like a part of her had been erased while she slept. There were reasons, of course; sound, well-informed reasons, but that didn’t make that pill any easier to swallow. Still, Abby was awake and alive, with plenty of things to fight for: her own life, obviously, but Raven’s life too, and her son’s future. That’s not to mention the baby that might already be growing inside Raven’s womb as well. It would be a hard road, filled with potholes and detours, but Abby sure as hell wasn’t going to let the first bump send her careening off into the ditch.

The way forward was clear, at least for the moment. If she started chemo as soon as she was healed from surgery, Abby knew the possibility of remission would be favorable. It was probably a sixty/forty split, but at that point, she’d take what she could get. Dr. Craig confirmed that assumption a few moments later too, when he finally added, “I’m sure you’re aware of the odds, but if we stay on top of this, there’s no reason why you can’t reach remission… even get reconstructive surgery one day, if you want.” That was a long way ahead, a long, long way, but having reconstruction as an end goal wasn’t a bad thing. Getting her old body back would be something positive for Abby to think about when she was heaving her guts out from the chemo.

Soon after that, Dr. Snider and Dr. Craig were on their way out, promising to check in on Abby later. Dr. Snider’s last words to Abby were a bit odd though, simply, “Get some rest when you can…” but then Nick and Jake came screaming into the room, and those words made a lot more sense. Abby was still a little slow on the uptake, so they were climbing up in the bed with her before she could stop them. Nick landed somewhere on Abby’s right and immediately cuddled into her shoulder, but Jake ended up flopping down right on top of her chest.

A groan bubbled up Abby’s throat at the impact, but she stifled the sound as best she could. She figured she could handle a little extra discomfort, especially if it meant she got to hold her boys that close. Raven obviously wasn’t as pleased about their positions, but rather than to try pry Jake off of her, she simply made some room in the bed and then slide him off to the side. He settled in there easy enough, hugging up to Abby and Nick, alike.

Once she’d buried her face in Jake’s hair, Abby felt a pair of lips press up down on the top of her head, and eventually, she felt a warm hand cover one of her own too, but she didn’t stop snuggling her boys for a second. After scaring them half to death, Abby figured they deserved her undivided attention for as long as they wanted it. She knew that Raven and Clarke and Lexa would still be there when she was done reassuring them.

That contentment lasted for a several minutes, but it wasn’t long before Abby felt fatigue slowly starting to take its place. At first, it was just a little yawn, a soft and easy inhale in between Raven’s updates. Apparently, she’d put their entire lives on hold in the last three days. She’d called Lorelai and explained what happened, and she’d kept Bellamy in the loop too, letting him know that she wouldn’t be coming around the shop for a while. She said that Anya and Octavia and Lincoln had been by the day before, but sadly, Abby hadn’t woken up by then.

By the time, Nick and Jake started adding their own little anecdotes, Abby was struggling, but she listened dutifully as they told her all about their whirlwind weekend. Nick boasted about his new favorite pizza place, and Jake glowed with pride as he explained the ‘life-saving’ techniques he’d used three days before. Clarke and Lexa interjected here and there as well; Lexa amending Nick’s story about having pizza three nights in a row to include some actual truth, stating proudly that she’d made home-made pasta on the second night and that Nick had missed out when he refused to eat it. Clarke even tattled on Raven a little bit too, openly scolding her for not taking better care of herself over the last three days. 

By then, Abby was, to put it lightly, _fading_. Her eyes were so heavy she could barely keep them open, and her yawns definitely weren’t as soft or easy anymore. In fact, every inhale made her chest ache and burn, but still, she tried to listen, tried to keep up with all the going’s-on that she’d missed. She had a sneaking suspicion that when she finally allowed herself to sleep, she would probably be out for rest of the day.

That was nearly the case too, but the door opening again woke her up a little bit. The second bed being wheeled into her single room fought for her attention too, but ultimately, Abby just couldn’t fight the fatigue anymore. As she drifted off this time, she tried to memorize everything she felt, hoping that maybe she’d have more pleasant things to remember when she woke up again. The things that stuck with her were Jake cuddled into one side, Nick cuddled into the other, and Raven’s hand slowly squeezing her own, over and over and over again.

~~~

As if her weekend hadn’t felt long enough, the next three days were worse. Watching Abby sleep was quickly becoming the biggest part of Raven’s daily life, but at least by the end of the third day, Abby was capable of staying awake for more than an hour at a time. They filled those hours with as much love as they could too: love for their family, love for their friends and love for their lives. Raven kept a close eye on Abby the whole time, however, and hustled people out of the room anytime Abby so much as blinked too long.

It was another two days of waiting and watching before Dr. Craig said Abby could go home, but even then, it was with strict instructions about what she should and shouldn’t do while at home. One of those no-no’s was strenuous activity, including but not limited to, lifting anything heavier ten pounds, vigorous or prolonged exercise, and of course, sex. Not that Raven was necessarily _in the mood_ , but to her, there really wasn’t anything as life-affirming as coming undone in Abby’s arms.

There was the little matter of her shifting hormones too, but Raven put those on the back burner as well. It would be another week before it was time for a home pregnancy test, but with the way her moods were swinging, Raven couldn’t imagine it would come back negative. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, Raven hadn’t had any morning sickness yet either, but if she had, that would be just one more reassurance towards a positive result.

As it was, Abby was sick enough for them both anyway. Her first chemo treatment put her on her back for a while, knocking her out for several hours. However, when Abby woke up, her nausea was so strong that Raven actually had to help her to the bathroom; otherwise, she would have heaved all over their bedroom floor. The second treatment was almost as bad as the first, but at least, the tincture that Dr. Snider had prescribed seemed to help with the nausea, allowing Abby to actually hold food down afterwards. By the third treatment, a sort of routine had developed: tincture first, chemo second, sleep third, food fourth; then, repeat.

For the most part, Raven had accepted that too, but eventually, she got curious about the magical elixir that Dr. Snider had prescribed. Of course, when Raven asked Abby what was in the tincture, Abby suddenly didn’t want to answer. From the blush on her cheeks, Raven already had a pretty good idea what was in it, but when Abby thrust the bottle into her hands, Raven got to read it for herself: twenty-two percent THC, seven percent CBD.

Obviously, there was no reason for Abby to be ashamed; medical marijuana had been legal for years. It seemed there was even going to be a measure on their next voting ballot that could legalize recreational use. It didn’t take much for Raven to figure out why Abby that way though. The fact that it was still federally illegal probably had something to do, but Raven had a feeling that Abby’s age and upbringing were contributing factors too.

From what little Raven knew about Abby’s mother, Linda was as conservative as a person could be, but in the worst sort of way, touting a strict religious rhetoric one minute, and then, preaching hatred the next. Growing up in the seventies and eighties had probably turned Abby away from marijuana too, what with celebrities and star athletes dying off every other day from overdoses. That sort of thing would certainly have a lasting effect, and sheltered as she was, young Abby probably wouldn’t have known the difference between a little marijuana and black-tar heroin.

Raven could help her with that however, thinking that if she sent send Abby some scientific studies promoting the benefits of THC and CBD., maybe Abby would feel better about the whole thing. The first one she sent was a study from UCLA, and while it was a bit convoluted, it had evidently prompted Abby to do some research on her own. Later that day, she sent Raven one back, this time from NYU, with the caption, ‘They’re testing it for Alzheimer’s now?’ Raven responded with the most recent study done by Harvard, promoting the use of medical marijuana as a treatment for several different types of auto-immune diseases, including Chron’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis.

Naturally, Abby didn’t have either of those things, but the anti-inflammatory qualities were probably helping Abby’s chest heal faster too. It would be another two weeks before Abby went back to have her stitches out, but from what Raven could tell, it could maybe be sooner than that. Not that Abby had let Raven take a good look at her incisions, and understanding how sensitive Abby was about it, Raven asked her to either; she’d simply caught a glimpse one day when Abby was getting out of the shower. Seeing Abby’s body _altered_ like that was hard on Raven, knowing that she’d inadvertently caused the change, but she couldn’t even imagine how Abby must feel about it. She could guess, of course, but for the most part, Abby brushed it off like it was nothing, or avoided the subject altogether.

A couple days after they’d gotten home from the hospital, when Abby had approached Raven with a pair of electric hair clippers, and quietly asked, “will you do it?” Raven had tried to bring it up, had tired apologize, but Abby had simply said, “You have nothing to be sorry for, Raven. You chose to save my life… I should be thanking you…” Even when Raven had finished crying over having to shave Abby’s head, she still didn’t feel quite right about Abby’s ‘gratitude,’ but later that night, when she tried to bring it up again, Abby had just said, “Really, honey… I get it. It’s ok… I’m ok.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation, but despite Abby’s repeated assurance, Raven didn’t really think Abby was ‘okay’ at all. Honestly, if the situation were reversed, Raven wasn’t sure she’d feel that way either. Still, she’d hoped that when the initial shock wore off, Abby would at least be willing to talk about it. As it was, the exact opposite seemed to be the case, because Abby began actively avoiding Raven’s presence.

It started out subtly, Abby locking herself in her office for hours at a time, claiming that she was ‘swamped’ in work emails. That sort of made sense, at first; Raven knew that Abby hadn’t really worked in three weeks, so there was bound to be a few things that needed her attention. After a few days of that though, Raven started to get suspicious, wondering just how far behind Abby could have gotten in such a short amount of time.

In the evenings, when they were all together around the dinner table, Abby still seemed distant. Her reactions were delayed, like she was distracted, and her eyes always had a bit of a haze over them, like she could cry at any moment. Even when they were alone in bed, it was like Abby had checked out, only offering Raven a quick kiss before she was rolling over and going to sleep. That all made sense too; obviously, Abby was tired and sad and stressed, but that certainly wasn’t an excuse for Abby’s next bit of avoidance. No, when Abby flinched away from an affectionate, ‘goodbye’ kiss, Raven realized something was seriously wrong.

Of course, Raven was in a rush to get the twins to school on time, so she couldn’t exactly demand an explanation right then, but she did lean in a little closer to whisper, “we’ll be talking about that later,” before dashing out the door.

Raven’s day felt brutally long after that, the impending confrontation looming over her every minute. More than once, she wished she hadn’t agreed to work that day at all, but Bellamy had been right to call her; with all her unexpected time off, they were behind on everything from shop work to payroll. Thankfully, Bellamy was taking care of their money, so all Raven had to do was what she does best: fix broken stuff.

Usually, she enjoyed that too, but it seemed like everything she touched just fell apart in her hands. She tried to rebuild a carburetor first, but as she was trying to take it apart, she ended up breaking so badly that they’d have order a whole new one to replace it. Next, she tried rewiring the taillights on this classic car they were working on. She thought she’d done it right too, but somehow, she managed to fry the whole electrical system instead. It was one frustration after another after that too, until Raven finally got fed up around four-thirty and left for the day.

Naturally, Nick and Jake were underfoot from the minute she got home until they were safely tucked into their beds, but once Raven and Abby were alone in their bedroom, there was no avoiding the elephant in the room. Raven didn’t try to either; she just closed the door to their bedroom and said, “We need to talk about this morning…”

There was no accusation in Raven’s voice, no blame in her tone, but apparently, Abby heard some anyway, as she snapped back, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Struggling not to roll her eyes, Raven clenched her hands into fists instead. She steadied herself for a second too, and only when she knew her voice would come out just as evenly, did she reply, “I think you do.” Abby was shaking her head before Raven could finish the statement, but Raven didn’t give her a chance to offer any more of a rebuttal than that, as she quickly continued on, “In fact, I think you know _exactly_ what I’m talking about.”

Abby’s denial continued too, as she tried to repeat herself, but she only got as far as, “I don’t know—” before her voice broke. The rest of her words came out as a garbled mess, Abby’s breath hitching and sobbing in turns, but the sentiment was pretty much the same.

The adamant dismissal was frustrating, especially with the tears slowly tracking down her face, but Raven didn’t let that dissuade her. She merely crossed over to Abby as she said, “Hey, it’s ok… If you don’t wanna kiss me right now, that’s fine, just don’t shut me out completely, ok?”

For a moment, that seemed like the wrong thing to say, as Abby’s heaving sobs started to escalate, but when Abby choked out, “It’s not— not fine… You don’t— don’t deserve this…” Raven began to understand. On top of everything else that Abby was feeling, on top of the worry and the stress and the pain and the shame, Abby felt guilty for dragging Raven down with her.

Needless to say, there was plenty of guilt to go around; Raven still felt guilty for the things she’d had to do, but at the moment, she knew she had to push her own feelings aside. Abby needed reassurance, not refutation. She needed to know that everything she felt was valid and important, even the dark feelings. Still, Raven knew she’d have to choose her words carefully, so she took a moment to compose herself, before she said, “You’re right… I don’t deserve this, but you don’t deserve this either.” That earned Raven a little huff, like Abby thought different, but Raven barely let it slow her down, as she quickly added, “You don’t… Nobody deserves this, but we have to take the cards we’re dealt, right?”

Another huff followed that, but at least this time, it sounded more like a snort than a sigh. The noise drew Raven’s eyes up to Abby’s face too, and when she saw a soft smile starting to peak through, Raven knew she’d said something right. Abby wasn’t always a fan of clichés, but it seemed she knew quite a few anyway, joking as she replied, “When life hands you lemons…”

As Abby’s voice trailed off, Raven couldn’t help but finish for her, smiling as she said, “You make martinis.” That drew a much more genuine laugh out of Abby’s mouth, and Raven snickered too, even though she knew the serious part of their conversation wasn’t quite over. Still, Raven let Abby enjoy the moment as long as she could before she finally said, “Now, are you gonna talk to me, or do I have to get you drunk first?”

It was an empty threat, of course; another one of Dr. Craig’s restrictions was no alcohol, but the thought seemed to lift Abby’s spirits anyway. Her soft smile shifted though, taking on an almost annoyed expression as she said, “If only… If. Only.” Abby shook her head then, like she was trying to physically shake that image out of her head, but Raven was pretty sure that wouldn’t work. Abby continued on soon enough however, running her hands nervously over her mostly bald head as she said, “I just feel… _so hideous_ … all the time…” Raven couldn’t help the scoffing sound she made then, but Abby just pushed on, quickly adding, “I mean, I know I wasn’t exactly ‘super model material’ before, but look at me now, I’m— I’m _disfigured._ ”

As the gravity of that sunk in, Raven sunk with it. The guilt she was already feeling swelled, threatening to overtake her, but she knew breaking down wouldn’t help either of them. Instead, she decided a little visual demonstration might help erase some of Abby’s dysphoria. She cupped Abby’s cheek with one hand, drawing Abby’s eyes back up to her own, and with her other hand, she reached down to turn the disc on the side of her brace. Once her knee joint was loose, she whispered, “lay back for me. I wanna show you something…”

For a second, Raven thought Abby was going to object, but eventually, she nodded and leaned back onto the bed. Abby’s legs were still dangling off the edge, but Raven figured that was alright, as long as she didn’t slide back too far while she was straddling Abby’s lap. Getting into that position was hard enough on its own, her bad hip protesting the stretch, but when she settled over Abby’s hips, the brief flash of pain melted away.

It helped that Abby immediately reached up to steady her, grabbing onto her waist, but there was something about being so close to Abby that helped Raven relax. The warm look in Abby’s eyes told Raven she was already getting somewhere, but she still had a point to make, so she carefully braced her hands of Abby’s shoulders, as she said, “Now, tell me what you see?”

Abby’s initial response was brief, simply, “You,” but at Raven’s expectant look, she smiled as she added, “Your face… your smile, and your eyes… the love in your eyes…”

As responses go, it was pretty sappy, but Raven’s smile widened anyway as she replied, “OK, good… Now, what do you hear?”

The room went silent for a moment, only the droning of the heat pump pushing air through the vents, but before Abby could give that as an answer, Raven rocked her hips down against Abby’s stomach. The friction with her core was muted by the leggings Raven had on, but it was more than enough to make her gasp. The noise pulled a similar sound from Abby too, and her hands tightened on Raven’s waist as she husked, “you…”

Raven’s smile widened even more at the rough quality to Abby’s voice, but she still wasn’t finished, so asked her next question, simply, “What do you feel?”

Abby’s reply was starting to sound like a chant, the word, “you,” slipping past her lips yet again, but when Abby’s hands started to wander over her body, Raven heard her whisper, “your waist, your back, your ass…” Abby’s fingers dug in there, pulling Raven closer, and as her core ground down against Abby’s stomach again, Abby softly added, “your warmth… your love…”

Naturally, Raven hadn’t really meant for her demonstration to turn quite so sexual, but she couldn’t help herself, quickly blurting out, “What-do-you-smell?”

That earned Raven a deep groan, and then, an even deeper growl, and when Abby said, “ _you…”_ one more time, Raven knew they’d be breaking at least one of Dr. Craig’s rules that night. She was already slick and ready, and Abby was obviously willing, but Raven knew they’d at least have to try to be gentle with each other. With that in mind, Raven moved her hands down on to the bed above Abby’s shoulders, thinking it might be easier if Raven wasn’t pressing down on her. That brought their faces that much closer together, and Raven was just about lean down so she could finally get that kiss she’d missed out on that morning, when Abby suddenly added, “Can I have a taste?”

The unexpected question made Raven gasp, not just because of what Abby had said, but because of how she’d said it: rough and needy, almost like she was begging. There was no denying a request like that, and Raven didn’t want to; in fact, all she could think about now, was riding Abby’s face until she came all over it. Logistically, that would probably work, if she could keep most of her weight off Abby’s chest. Getting into that position would be a bit of a pain too, but Raven didn’t let that sway her either. She quickly rolled off of Abby to stripe of her brace. Her leggings and her underwear soon followed, but before she rolled back on top of Abby, she slipped her brace back on. The extra bulk would get in the way at some point, but she figured she would probably need the support at some point too.

Honestly, the brace came in handy almost immediately; Abby wasting no time in slipping her tongue in between Raven’s folds, but as that hot muscle teased over her clit, Raven didn’t really have the headspace to think about that. In fact, she barely got ahold of the headboard before her head simply floated away. Steadying herself there, Raven managed to keep herself upright, but then Abby’s hands wedged in under her butt, supporting her further.

The firm grip on her ass made her hips jerk, but with Abby’s arms locked under her, Raven could only move forward and backward, instead of up and down. With how close she was already, that was a bit frustrating, but soon, Abby came to her instead, craning her neck up to make contact with Raven’s core once more. Abby’s hot tongue slipped through Raven’s folds even easier than before, gliding smoothly through the tide of wetness that had gathered there. She lashed over Raven’s clit a few times too, the fast flickers making Raven gasp and clench, but Abby backed off just as quickly, dipping back down towards Raven’s entrance instead.

Feeling Abby groan against her core made Raven gasp and clench all over again; obviously, someone was pleased with the slick that was now dribbling down Raven’s inner thighs, but when Abby repeated the motion a few times, Raven realized Abby was enjoying the source of that slick even more. It seemed like it was Abby’s mission to enjoy as much of it as possible too, as she sucked and licked and nibbled at Raven’s sex, until Raven couldn’t help but come all over Abby’s face. Raven actually felt proud for how long she’d held out, but the second Abby’s tongue slipped fully inside her, she knew she was a goner.

An absolute rush of fluid followed Abby’s tongue when she withdrew it, and Raven’s whole body stiffened as her climax started to wash over her, but by that point Raven had let go of the headboard, in favor of gripping the back of Abby’s head instead. That meant that there was nowhere for Abby to go when Raven gushed all over her, but if Abby’s muted groaning was anything to go by, Raven figured there was nowhere else Abby would rather be.

The way Abby continued lapping at her folds told Raven as much too, but eventually, Raven had to let go of Abby’s head, so that she didn’t just collapse right there on top of her face. As it was, Raven barely managed to roll to her right before she flopped towards the bed, but that proved to be an even worse option, as Raven soon ended up in the floor instead. Clearly, she’d totally forgotten how close they were to the edge of the bed, and when her good leg slid off the side, there was nothing her limp one could do to stop her from rolling all the way off.

Suddenly staring up at the ceiling, the first thing Raven did was try to take stock of herself. Nothing seemed to hurt any more than usual, so that was a good thing, but when she heard a hearty laugh come from the direction of the bed, she felt her pride take the hit. It wasn’t long before Abby’s chuckle choked off into a groan, but when Abby’s face came into view, at least she was still smiling. That was more than could be said for Raven though; no, she was pretty sure she was scowling. When Abby spoke, her tone was infuriatingly patronizing too, as she said, “Oh, poor baby… Are you hurt?”

There was still that slick, snicker on Abby’s lips, and Raven almost snapped at her over it, but she had just enough sense not to; if their situations were reversed, Raven was pretty sure she’d be laughing too. That was actually something that she’d been doing a lot recently, putting herself in other people’s shoes, and honestly, she’d probably avoided at least dozen arguments because of it. So, rather than slap away Abby’s proffered hand, Raven grasped it instead, as she said, “Thanks. I’m ok, nothing injured except my ego.”

That drew another little chuckle from Abby, but then Abby pulled her close and said, “Well, I know a few very effective treatments for that, if you’d like some help.” Before she’d even finished speaking, Abby’s fingers shifted to circle around Raven’s wrist, and with one firm tug, she dragged Raven’s hand down to her core. Raven could feel the heat there, even through two layers of clothing, and she groaned as Abby pushed herself further into the touch.

All Raven could think about then, was getting her hand under those layers to feel that heat for herself, but it was Abby’s needy whine that really got her moving. Before she could stop herself, Raven was pushing Abby back towards the bed and trying to strip off her sweatpants at the same time. She was only marginally successful, but once Abby’s back hit the bed, Raven had a much easier time divesting Abby of her clothes.

Her sweatpants came off easily enough after that, and soon, Abby’s plain-jane underwear followed, but Raven paused before trying to take of Abby’s sleep shirt. From the look in Abby’s eyes, she could tell that Abby didn’t want to take it off at all, but Raven knew they’d never get anywhere beating around the bush like that. She settled for slipping her hands underneath Abby’s shirt instead, trailing her fingers over Abby’s stomach for a few moments before venturing further north. Initially, Abby shivered under the touch, her abs twitching and twisting beneath Raven’s fingertips, but the second Raven moved her hands up over Abby’s chest, Abby stiffened, obviously not sure whether she enjoyed being touched like that or not.

Sensing Abby’s discomfort, Raven immediately pulled her hands back down towards Abby’s stomach, but she didn’t give up just yet. She stroked over Abby’s abs again, moving lower and lower with each swipe, but when she reached the hem of Abby’s shirt, she met Abby’s eyes and whispered, “can I? please?” For a moment, Abby looked almost scared, but as they stared at each other, she seemed to come to some sort of epiphany. She blushed a little bit, but when she nodded, Raven took that as permission to finally lift Abby’s shirt up past her waist.

Seeing the stitches that lined Abby’s chest was a bit shocking, but Raven couldn’t help the way she reached out of them either. As she traced her fingers over them, Abby shivered and squirmed under her touch, but she didn’t say stop, so Raven decided to push a bit further. She kept contact as she let her hands drift up to Abby’s shoulders, and when Abby arched towards her, Raven leaned in and traced along those lines with her lips instead. At the contact, Abby hissed, and her hips hitched up seeking friction, but Raven held herself there for a few more seconds, allowing herself some time to adjust.

Much of Abby’s body was as exactly as Raven had left it: trim abs with only a few stretch marks marring their surface, strong shoulders straining as they pushed down into the sheets, and lithe thighs that spread so beautifully before her. There were just as many things that had changed though; the absence of Abby’s breasts was obvious, but it was almost as if Abby’s entire demeanor had shifted. When they were in bed together, Abby usually acted more like a hero, proud and brave and strong, but now, she just seemed to cower and cringe instead. With the way Abby’s jaw was clenched, the veins in her neck were clearly visible, and her hands were gripped in the sheets so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

Ultimately, it was that straining grip that finally set off the ‘Red-Alert’ alarms in Raven’s head. She suddenly realized that if Abby really wanted this, she’d probably be gripping Raven somewhere instead. The look on Abby’s face wasn’t anything close to pleasure either, more like she was trying to enjoy herself, but she just couldn’t quite get there. In fact, it seemed like the longer Raven lingered over Abby’s chest, the more distressed Abby became.

When she spotted a drop of wetness leaking out of the corner of Abby’s eye, Raven immediately pushed herself back up into a kneeling position, worrying that she’d been hurting Abby and Abby had just been too polite to tell her. The loss of contact drew a whine from Abby, a lonely, confused sound, but Raven didn’t give into the pull of desperation that it caused. She simply rested her hands on her own thighs, grounding herself, as she tried to say, “I’m— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

Abby cut her off before Raven could get any further than that, pushing a finger against her lips as she said, “You definitely should… I kinda need you to…” As she pulled her finger away, Abby’s thoughts seemed to scatter, half forming on her tongue, but eventually, she filled in the gaps pretty well when she added, “I think I need to remember… what it’s like to enjoy being touched.”

Logically, that made perfect sense; the last person who’d touched Abby’s chest was a doctor, a surgeon, and while Raven knew Dr. Craig was a professional, almost to a fault, he was still a stranger. There’d been no love, no affection in his touch; there hadn’t been any malice or malevolence either, but he’d still left Abby hurting, physically, mentally and emotionally. From the look of them, Abby’s physical injuries were well on their way to healing, but obviously, she was still struggling with her feelings.

Having already been fully prepared to worship Abby for a little while, Raven didn’t hesitate to lean back down and capture Abby’s lips in a kiss. It wasn’t quite as chaste as Raven had intended, her body pressing down into Abby’s in a lewd sort of way, but Abby just groaned against her lips, obviously pleased with the pressure. Raven took advantage of the position too, shifting her good knee over top of one of Abby’s thighs, so she could bring their lower halves that much closer together too.

A brief wince passed across Abby’s lips, and Raven was pretty sure her brace had just scraped against Abby’s butt, but when she shifted even closer, her brace finally moved past the skin of Abby’s ass. That put Raven’s hip in a really awkward position, but at least it wasn’t painful; not yet anyway. She could still move though, so for the moment, Raven did just that. She pushed forward with her good leg, separating her body from Abby’s a little bit, but then, when she relaxed, she let herself slide all the way down to the apex of Abby’s thighs.

The first time Raven’s slick core slipped over Abby’s prominent clit, it was messy and wet and nearly frictionless, but Raven knew she wasn’t going to last long before she came again. She was already twitching and gasping, but she was determined to take Abby along for the ride too. She grabbed Abby’s right leg and brought it up into the air with her, letting her body rest against it as she pressed her hips up again. When she slid back down that time, the angle was much better, causing Raven’s clit to rub along the length of Abby’s sex, rather than just flicking over the tip of her clit.

That drew a groan from both of them, and when Raven swiveled her hips again, they both let out a sigh, but Abby sounded less content, and more frustrated. Honestly, Raven was a bit frustrated too; she couldn’t quite get enough leverage to really force their bodies together, and she knew that without a little more pressure, their pleasure was probably going to stagnate before either one of them could peak. If she could push with both legs, she’d be fine, but at it was, her bad hip was already feeling weak and achy from riding Abby’s face. She tried gripping onto Abby’s leg and using her upper body strength to get more momentum, but that didn’t really work either.

It wasn’t until Abby grabbed ahold of her right wrist and pulled, that Raven managed enough umph to earn a gasp of her name, but Raven was reluctant to do what Abby was silently asking her to do. She knew if she put her hand down against Abby’s chest, she could get the leverage she needed, but at what cost? Would Abby stiffen against her touch again? Would Raven make Abby’s dysphoria worse by drawing her attention back up to her chest? Would Abby be able to handle the pressure of Raven’s weight, without hurting herself in the process?

In the end, Abby made that decision for her, jerking at Raven’s wrist once again, this time until Raven had to put her hand down to keep herself from falling forward and crushing Abby under her weight. At the last second, she managed to aim for Abby’s sternum, and when Abby let out a groan, at least Raven knew she hadn’t hurt her. The rumbling sound actually felt nice against her palm too, reminding Raven of that confident alpha that she knew Abby could be.

That confidence reflected in Abby’s movements too, her hands finally reaching out to take ahold of Raven instead of the sheets. One hand gripped tightly onto Raven’s right thigh, while the other latched onto Raven’s left hand, and when Abby used that grip to pull her forward, a moan rose up into Raven’s throat. The friction was nearly perfect, harsh and slick and thrilling, but it was just enough to make Raven want more. She had the power to get what she needed though, so the next time Abby pulled at her, Raven used her newfound leverage to buck into Abby as well, and that new pressure turned out to be fucking flawless.

After that, falling into Abby’s rhythm was so natural that Raven didn’t even have to think about it. Of course, if she had, all she would’ve had time to think was, ‘Slow and steady wins the race,’ before Abby cried out, “That’s— That— Fu-ck!” All at once, Abby’s muscles tensed as tight a drawn bowstring, quivering on the edge of release. That sudden stillness only lasted for a few moments however, before a round of wracking shudders coursed through Abby’s body instead.

The rush of Abby’s release flowed between them like a river then, making Raven’s chase for her own orgasm a bit trickier, but feeling Abby twitch and pulse against her was just what Raven needed to push her over the edge as well. Her own body stiffened in anticipation, and her insides shook like they were being pulled too tight, but once Raven peaked, her muscles went wild, jerking and twitching in all different directions.

Abby’s grip didn’t relax until the last shudder had sizzled through her, but Raven didn’t really mind. The bruises on her thigh would be worn with pride, knowing that she’d enjoyed getting each one of them. Honestly, Raven was going to be just as proud of the ones that were going to crop up on Abby’s calf. If Abby’s heavy breathing was anything to go by, Abby had enjoyed Raven putting them there as well.

What Abby didn’t seem to enjoy, was having to disentangle from Raven. She winced slightly when she moved her leg back down towards the bed, and she groaned when Raven finally managed to shift her weight off onto the bed. That groan would have been concerning enough by itself, but when Raven tried to snuggle into her side, Abby let out a little ‘oo-ff’ of pain too.

Kicking herself for being so indelicate, especially when she knew they weren’t supposed to having sex at all, Raven started to apologize, but she didn’t get very far before Abby interrupted her, whispering, “don’t… that was great, incredible really… but maybe next time, we should try something a little less athletic.” Raven could tell Abby was trying to hide her pain behind humor, but she couldn’t help the way she laughed either; she did kind of feel like she’d just run a marathon, wobbly legged and exhausted, but euphoric too.

Cuddled up the way they were, naked and sweaty and sated, Raven actually felt like she was on top of the world, but it seemed all the exertion had wiped Abby out. Within a minute, she was snoring quietly, her jaw relaxed in that dead-to-the-world sort of way. Raven didn’t really mind that either though, even when Abby’s arm gave in to the pull of gravity and slipped off her shoulder. Raven just cuddled herself in closer to Abby’s supine form and waited for sleep to take her as well.

~~~

Tired, and a little sore, Abby managed to make it through the next day, and the day after that, before she started to feel self-conscious again. It was a Saturday, so there were no appointments to keep or errands to run, but that didn’t mean Abby wasn’t up early. Her internal clock usually went off around six, and on weekends, Abby was happy if she managed to sleep until seven. Since starting chemo, she’d been sleeping later and later, but still, it was a rare occasion for her to sleep past eight.

That particular Saturday, she woke up only a little after sunrise, some time around six-thirty, but even when she tried snuggling back down under the covers, Abby simply couldn’t go back to sleep. She probably should’ve been more tired; she and Raven had been up pretty late the night before, doing _things,_ non-athletic, yet still-naughty things, but instead, Abby just felt restless. It wasn’t like there was anything pressing on her agenda for the day: do the laundry, vacuum, and dust. If she had time later, she might clean the downstairs bathroom too.

Still, Abby could only lay there staring at the ceiling for so long and eventually, she decided to slip out of bed quietly, thinking there was no reason to wake Raven this early on a Saturday. She could get a jumpstart on the laundry, maybe have a cup of tea. Then, she could wake everyone up later, with the smell of breakfast, maybe pancakes and eggs and bacon. She was pretty sure there were still some blueberries in the fridge too.

Luckily, she’d already dragged most of their dirty clothes down into the basement the night before, so Abby was able to get her first load going without making a bunch of noise. While that colors load ran, she made her way to the kitchen, and made herself a cup of tea. The Yerba Mate blend was a sort of poor substitute for a steaming cup of coffee, but that was just one more thing about her life that had changed in the last month. Apparently, the amino acids, in certain types of tea, were good for her immune system, and now that she was almost a week into chemo, Abby’s immune system needed every advantage she could give it.

A little honey and a dollop of cream helped mellow the tea’s bitter flavor, and the ritual of stirring those ingredients in satisfied her coffee craving a little bit too, but it still wasn’t quite the same. Change wasn’t a new concept though; it was almost like everything had changed, even her laundry. When she went back down in the basement, Abby easily moved the clean colors load over into the dryer. She decided to start a load of delicates after that, thinking she’d wash those next because none of it would have to wait for the dryer.

It was mostly underwear, and few of Abby’s gauzier shirts, but when Abby was finished sorting through everything, she realized the load was only about half the size it normally was. Usually, every one of their lingerie bags was full, but this time, she only had one half-full lingerie bag, and three bra bags leftover too. That’s when it hit her; the delicates load was lighter than usual because she didn’t wear a bra anymore; she didn’t have to. She would maybe never have to wear a bra ever again.

That thought was a double-edged sword though; one side was almost freeing, knowing that she didn’t have to wear an ‘over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder’ anymore, but the other side, the much sharper side, cut deep, making Abby wonder if she’d ever _get_ to wear a bra again. That cut bled too, covering Abby with a kind of shame she’d never felt before, the shame of overindulged vanity. Here she was, worried about how her body looked, when really, she should just be happy to be alive.

It was a very _human_ reaction, of course, but at least Abby was also _human_ enough to feel guilty about it. That was a feeling she recognized, and she’d had her fair share of dealing with it too, so she knew not to let herself dwell on it. Of course, that was easier said than done, but all Abby had to do was keep herself focused, keep herself from spiraling, and everything would be fine.

There were plenty of things to keep herself focused on too, like having breakfast with her family and finishing the laundry, playing catch with the twins in the park and picking up take out on the way home. Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, the vacuuming and dusting got put off until Sunday, but when Raven and the twins cleaned the bathrooms while she was vacuuming, Abby didn’t exactly complain about it the change in plans. She didn’t complain when Raven kept her up late again that night either.

Getting up early on Monday was necessary though, at least, if she wanted the twins to get to school on time, but Abby didn’t mind being a little extra tired that day; not when the smell of Raven’s arousal was still clinging to her skin. Raven was actually already in the shower when Abby woke up, but rather than climb into the tub with her, Abby made her way downstairs instead, to get breakfast going and to start packing lunches.

After washing her hands, Abby cracked some eggs and then washed her hands again. Once those were frying on the stove, she started in on lunch, cutting up some veggies to go with the ranch dip that was left over from Saturday night’s pizza dinner. When she had the peppers and carrots sliced up and separated in three bags, she started laying out bread for sandwiches. Nick and Jake finally joined her then, both looking a bit bleary-eyed, but at least, they were both wearing matching socks. Since she and Raven had stopped laying their clothes out for them, Jake had ended up going to school in his pajamas a couple of times, but evidently, Charlotte Shaw had teased him over it one day, and since then, Jake put much more effort into his appearance.

It was actually kind of cute, Jake’s first crush, but the thought of not getting to see his next one was always looming in the back of Abby’s mind. She tried to fight that darkness down every time it reared its ugly head, but it wasn’t long before Abby needed help; by Wednesday afternoon, Abby needed something just to keep her going. It seemed Raven had just the thing though; the second she got home from work that day, she excitedly shoved a brown paper bag into Abby’s hand and shouted, “Open It! Open It!” Abby didn’t have to pull the contents out to know what was in there, but she did have to pull it out to see the results.

At first, she could barely see the little blue plus sign in the middle of the test, but as she brought it out into the light, that mark practically beamed back at her. Even with the evidence right in from of her, Abby still looked up to Raven for confirmation, and the smile she found on Raven’s lips told Abby everything she needed to know. Raven was pregnant, or at least, her first test had been positive. There was another, unopened test still in the bottom of the bag that Raven had handed her, and even if that one came back positive too, they’d still need to see Dr. Walker before they could be sure.

Still, the fact that Raven was _probably_ pregnant, elevated Abby’s mood considerably. Any time her thoughts turned dark, all she had to think about was the little baby growing in Raven’s belly, and everything seemed bright again. Even after a particularly rough chemo treatment on Friday, Abby still felt hopeful; it was a bit obtuse, but they had the luxury of three bathrooms, with three toilets, so at least when Raven’s morning sickness eventually set in, they’d all have somewhere to ‘go.’

It also helped that Abby was slated to get her stitches out on Monday, the idea of getting rid of the itchy sutures making her happy thoughts that much happier. Her appointment wasn’t until the afternoon and waiting around for it was tedious, but when Abby finally got in to see Dr. Craig, he seemed pleasantly surprised with her progress. Her vitals were good, and her most recent bloodwork had all come back normal; or at least, normal for a patient on chemo. At 2200 per mcL, her white cell count was low, but not so low that they needed to be overly concerned.

The actual suture removal was a bit awkward, as Dr. Craig had a group of interns with him, observing him, but Abby had consented to their presence without a second thought. She remembered all too well what it was like trying to learn the ropes, and the last thing those kids needed was to be excluded simply because Abby was a little uncomfortable. They were all very respectful about it too, standing quietly against one wall while Dr. Craig worked, and one of them even went so far as to wish Abby luck on his way out the door.

After that appointment, Abby was officially cleared for light-to-moderate duty, and honestly, she felt better and better every day because of it. It was good to get her blood flowing again, although her usual morning workout was still a bit limited. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course, especially when Raven was all too happy to give her a good work out at bedtime too. It was on one such night, while they were both basking in the afterglow, that Raven asked, “Can I tell you something, and it not be weird?”

Starting a conversation like that, at a time like that, was one of Raven’s quirkier impulses, but Abby really wouldn’t have it any other way. She knew they were both a little more pliant, and little more honest, after a couple of fantastic orgasms. She didn’t really trust her voice, however, not after nearly screaming herself hoarse into her pillow, but she let out a soft ‘mm-hmm’ and hoped that would be enough for Raven to continue.

It was enough, but Raven’s response almost made Abby wish she hadn’t agreed so easily. At first, all Raven said was, “I actually really like you being bald,” but Abby felt those words like a spear to the chest. She’d been trying to ignore that little detail of her appearance but leave it to Raven to appreciate the thing Abby didn’t like most about herself. She’d mostly come to terms with the other changes to her body, the healing scars on her chest and the growing weakness in her muscles, but losing her hair was maybe worse than either of those things.

For one, she couldn’t hide her baldness behind baggy clothes, like she could with the rest of her body. At least, the days were getting cooler, so she could keep her head wrapped up in a scarf most of the time, but even still, it was pretty obvious there was no hair underneath it. She had tired a wig to make herself look more _normal_ , but the damn thing itched so bad that Abby only managed to wear it for about an hour before she took it off and left it off. The cooler weather had created its own fair share of problems, too; with no hair to insulate her head, Abby felt cold most of the time.

At the moment, however, wrapped up in Raven’s arms, Abby felt warm for the first time all day; a little sweaty and a little clammy, but _warm_. That warmth made it easier for Abby to bite her tongue and wait for Raven to finish her thought, because certainly, that couldn’t be it; Raven had to have a reason why she liked Abby’s baldness so much. Of course, Raven wasn’t very forthcoming about it, only blushing a little bit as she added, “It’s just— your scalp’s soft, and your head’s really round. I don’t know… it’s stupid, never mind…”

Even jumbled as Raven’s words were, Abby had to admit, those were both good things; unfortunately, they were also things that Abby hadn’t really thought about before. When she looked in the mirror, she was usually too distracted by the gauntness in her face to give the shape of her head much thought, but running a hand over her scalp, Abby realized her skull was fairly round. Up until that point, she’d avoided handling her head as much as possible too, only touching it long enough to wash it while she was in the shower, but now that she was actually paying attention, her skin did seem rather soft too.

The fact that Raven had picked up on such small details was a bit surprising, but when she shyly added, “it’s just nice, you know? feels good when you’re… _down there_...” Abby nearly choked. That was something Abby really hadn’t thought about, even though she’d just been ‘down there’ not ten minutes before. At the time, she’d been a little too busy to think about the way Raven thighs felt pressing into the sides of her head, but in hindsight, Abby realized she’d very much like it. Smooth skin to smooth skin, both sides just slick enough to glide against each other, creating a beautiful sort of friction; no wonder Raven had nearly drowned her when she’d finally climaxed for the third time that night.

Repeatedly pressing her fingers into Raven’s g-spot had probably had something to do with that too, but that was beside the point. The important thing was that Raven actually appreciated some of the changes to her body, and Abby needed to accept that. As a matter of fact, she needed to do better than that; she needed to appreciate Raven’s appreciation. That wasn’t exactly hard to do; she simply said, “I’m glad you liked it,” but that was only half of it, so she quietly added, “I, uh, I liked it too.” That earned her a smile and soft sigh, as Raven snuggled in closer to her side, but Abby still felt like that wasn’t enough. She knew that Raven had always been a tactile sort of learner, so she took a hold of Raven’s wrist as she added, “actually, I really liked it…”

Directing Raven’s hand down to her body took very little effort, and once Raven’s fingers found Abby’s soaked core, Raven didn’t seem to need any more instructions, but Abby kept her hand wrapped around Raven’s wrist anyway. She enjoyed the way Raven’s tendons shifted and flexed under her hand. Of course, she enjoyed what Raven’s fingers were doing to her even more. After a few slick swipes to spread her wetness around, one of Raven’s fingers settled in on either side of her clit, trapping the shaft between them, and Abby couldn’t help the way she gasped when Raven gave her a little squeeze.

Before long, Abby’s nails were digging into Raven’s wrist, as she tried keep Raven’s hand right where she needed it, but when she felt Raven’s other hand come to rest against the top her head, Abby froze. Raven didn’t stop stroking her clit, but her touch turned gentle and teasing as Raven shifted even closer to her side. Abby felt Raven’s breath rushing over the skin of her neck, and soon, a litany of dirty whispers started tickling her ear. Raven’s voice was almost so husky that Abby couldn’t understand her, but there were a few phrases that came across loud and clear; “so hard, so smooth, so _sexy_ ,” and “I just wanna _lick_ _it_ ,” being among them.

Even comprehending the words, Abby couldn’t really be sure which part of her body Raven was talking about, but it seemed the insinuation worked for her either way. Abby’s clit was definitely hard, throbbing with every stroke of Raven’s fingers. Each movement was smooth as silk too, the slight roughness of Raven’s fingers easily mitigated by the copious slick flowing from Abby’s core. Raven had certainly called her _sexy_ before as well; in fact, Raven had made Abby come more than once while tracing those letters over the tip of her clit.

Funnily enough though, it was the way Raven was caressing her scalp that really spurred Abby on; only the gentlest of touches at first, but as Raven’s palm grew heavier and heavier, Abby found herself practically preening under the attention. That warm weight moved slowly back and forth, stroking her scalp in time with the strokes between her thighs, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘heavy petting.’ Raven’s breath was still hanging heavily in her ear too, but when Abby felt Raven’s tongue slip up along her earlobe, her own breath caught in her throat.

For a moment, Raven lingered there, lapping over the edge of her ear, but when Abby felt that slick heat finally slide over her scalp, the sensation tipped her over the edge too. She came so fast she didn’t give Raven much of a chance to react, but when Raven caught up, Abby’s peak peaked even higher. Scissoring fingers clenched like a vise, and a clutch of nails dug into her scalp, and then, that wicked tongue wrapped around her ear long enough to draw it between Raven’s teeth. The brief spikes of pain seemed to prolong the moment, stretching Abby’s orgasm out for several long seconds, leaving her a shuddering mess before it was even over. By the time, she was finally starting to come down, Raven was already whispering into her ear again, but even as distracted as she was, Abby managed to take something away from those whispers too, simply, “I love you… I love you so much…”

It was a long time before Abby was coherent enough to return the sentiment, but when she did, she did so with her mouth, and her teeth, and her fingers; indeed, she made sure Raven felt her love with every inch of her body. And, if they were both extra tired the next day, and the day after that, neither one of them said anything about it. The kind of love they shared couldn’t be worn down by being worn out. Of course, if Raven was pregnant, then that theory was about to tested, but Abby knew they’d get through that too; they always did.

Those two days, spent waiting for Raven’s appointment, were tedious, and sitting in Dr. Walker’s waiting room was even more so, but that was mostly because Abby thought they’d never be doing it again; at least, not for this kind of appointment. Dr. Walker seemed a bit shocked to see them too, but she didn’t let on too much about it, simply saying, “Well, this is a surprise,” as she greeted them. There was something off about Dr. Walker’s expression throughout the appointment though, like there was something she wanted to say but didn’t have the courage to spit it out.

Needless to say, when Raven’s pregnancy test came back a few days later, Dr. Walker seemed downright stunned, as she said, “If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I wouldn’t believe it… but you’re definitely pregnant!” That was a bit of an odd way to share such happy news, but when Dr. Walker explained why, Abby was stunned too.

The thing that Dr. Walker hadn’t wanted to mention during their last visit was the scar tissue that Raven had developed when she’d been in labor with the twins. They’d eventually been delivered through a Caesarean because of it, but apparently, that scar tissue had only grown thicker since then, to the point that Raven’s entire cervix was swollen with it. That was hard for Abby to believe at first, but when Dr. Walker insisted on a pelvic exam to prove it, Abby couldn’t deny the swollen ridge of scar tissue enveloping Raven’s womb.

Obviously, Raven was none too pleased about having Abby looking at her most intimate of places, but when Abby snapped a quick picture and showed it to her, Raven seemed just as fascinated as she was; although maybe, fascinated was the wrong word. Awestruck was bit more apt. In fact, it took Abby pulling her phone away from Raven’s face before Raven snapped out of her stupor. Then, Raven’s wide eyes fixed on her instead, as she choked out, “What does— what does this mean?” Not wanting to say the wrong thing, Abby turned towards Dr. Walker and asked the question over again, hoping against hope that it didn’t mean what she thought it might.

Thankfully, Dr. Walker put most of Abby fears to rest, throwing around terms like ‘medical miracle,’ and ‘excellent case study,’ but not once did she say anything about termination. Raven wasn’t too happy about her answer, however, complaining loudly when Dr. Walker suggested she take a leave of absence from work for the duration of the pregnancy, but it didn’t take much to convince Raven that that was a good idea. All Abby had to say was, “PJ’s every day and all the ice cream you can eat… sounds like paradise to me.”

Naturally, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Truth be told, there were several days where Raven cursed Abby up and down, blaming her for her swollen feet, and her swollen boobs, and her still swelling stomach, but Abby just grinned her way through it, happy that she got to hear any of it at all. Her chemo treatments were no picnic either, but she smiled through those too, knowing that every day she woke up was a blessing. She might be living on borrowed time, but at least she was _living_.

Towards the end of Raven’s first trimester, when her morning sickness finally stopped being all-day-sickness, their days got easier to enjoy, but Raven still seemed restless. Honestly, Abby was pretty sick of being stuck in the house all day and night too, so she decided she’d plan a little getaway, just the two (well, three) of them. She figured once the baby was born, they’d have even less time for themselves, so why not enjoy the time that they did have; the little, insidious whisper in the back of Abby’s brain that said, _yeah, enjoy it while you can,_ might have had something to do with that too.

Usually, she’d ask Clarke and Lexa to watch the boys for the weekend, but Abby knew Clarke had a big show coming up at her downtown gallery, so they weren’t an option. Anya and Octavia and Lincoln were still in the middle of converting their guest room into a nursey, so they weren’t an option either, but when Anya suggested that she try Echo and Bellamy, Abby realized she’d been overlooking a golden opportunity.

The last time she and Bellamy had been over for dinner, Echo had been very inquisitive about Raven’s experiences with Dr. Walker. At the time, Abby hadn’t really thought much of it, figuring Echo was just being polite, but when she combined that conversation with the puppy that they’d adopted a month earlier, Abby realized that Echo’s questions were anything but casual. Of course, Abby wasn’t sure they were ready for two, energetic six-year-olds, but when she called Echo about it, she seemed thrilled when she replied, “I’ll call Bellamy right now and tell him… He’ll be so excited!”

Once that was settled, Abby had an even harder time trying to pick somewhere for them to go. In the middle of winter, a trip to the beach didn’t seem smart, unless they wanted to go somewhere tropical. That wasn’t really appealing though; a trip like that could get expensive, if they tried to book something on their own, but the last thing Abby wanted was to end up in some tour group filled with strangers. A cruise was out of the question for much the same reason, but honestly, Abby got motion-sick just thinking about being on a boat that long.

A ski lodge wasn’t an awful idea, but with the way things were, they wouldn’t really be able to enjoy any of a lodge’s usual activities. Still, curling up in front of a big fireplace, drinking cocoa and eating sweets, didn’t sound like a bad way to relax for a few days. Add in, people watching with her favorite person, and Abby thought that might be just what they needed to recharge their batteries. Raven would probably just be happy to be out of the house, but maybe Abby could work up some big surprise for her, something that would really wow her.

After a little research, Abby found exactly what she was looking for: a large ski lodge only about an hour away from home. The lodge offered all the amenities she wanted too, including a huge fireplace in the common room, where she and Raven could cuddle up and people watch if they wanted to, but there was also a two-seater hot tub in their bathroom, where they could ‘cuddle up’ in a more private way when they wanted that instead. The ‘wow’ factor that Abby wanted, came in the form of a fleet of snowmobiles that the resort owned, which were available for rent on an hourly or daily basis.

With Raven’s physical limitations, and Abby’s current lack of stamina, riding around on a snowmobile would be a great way to see the countryside surrounding the resort, but Abby also knew that snowmobiles could be dangerous. However, the resort’s website claimed that they’d had 467 operating days since their last accident, so all things considered, Abby figured those were pretty good odds. All she needed to do now, was convince Raven they could afford to get away for a few days.

Of course, that was easier than Abby thought it would be. She sent Raven the link while she was out running a few errands, thinking they’d talk about it when Raven got home. Needless to say, Abby was surprised when Raven sent the same link back to her ten minutes later, with dates already chosen on the reservation calendar. Abby didn’t ask any questions though; she simply booked the dates Raven had chosen and then, as per the website’s instructions, called the resort to prepay for their snowmobile reservation. That was an expensive hit to their credit card, but if what the clerk said was true, Abby wasn’t going to regret shelling out six-hundred dollars apiece for their day-long rentals.

With the dates that Raven had chosen, their trip was a couple weeks out, but that time seemed to fly by, leaving Abby scrambling to pack at the last minute. Raven tried to help, taking over packing their bathroom bag, but Abby still felt rushed as she loaded outfit after outfit into their suitcases. Naturally, they’d need all their snow gear, which really wasn’t much, but Abby also had to pack their lounge-wear and their dinner-wear and their under-wear. In fact, by the time she was done, it looked like they were going to be gone for a full week instead of just a weekend, but Abby figured this way they wouldn’t have to buy anything new once they got there.

Driving up into the snow-covered mountains warranted taking Raven’s truck anyway, so at least Abby didn’t have to worry about trying to cram all their bags into her trunk. Obviously, Raven’s truck wasn’t the most comfortable way to ride, but Abby had to admit there was something almost romantic about it. Cruising along the highway in a classic car, on their way out of town for a much-needed weekend getaway; it almost seemed like something out a silly rom-com movie, like a happy moment montage, complete with cheesy 80’s music.

Once they’d checked-in at the resort, they got some more information from the front desk clerk about their snowmobile reservations, including some details about the resort’s safety record. It seemed their self-proclaimed ‘accident-free zone’ was due in part to the private security force that they employed to enforce their rules on the trails. If they ran into trouble, it was nice that there’d be help close by, but the two-hour orientation video that the resort made Abby and Raven watch probably had something to do with that 467-day record as well.

Excited about the adventure, Abby was already antsy when the video started, but she tried to reign herself in, knowing that at least some of the information in the video would be important. The first thing the narrator explained were the basic operations of the machines that they’d be riding, like how to start the snowmobile, and how to change gears, and how to stop without fishtailing. Even with the serious subject matter, Abby still found it hard to concentrate, distracted by the awkward actor that the resort had chosen to act out the narrator’s instructions. At times, Abby found herself wondering if it was his first day on a snowmobile, or if it was just his first time in front of a camera.

The second section of the video was a bit more monotonous, as the narrator went over several rules of the road, and how those rules applied to riding a snowmobile. It was all common-sense stuff, like obeying the posted speed limits and only pulling over in designated areas, unless there was an emergency, but Abby sat through that section as patiently as she could. She knew that the resort only rented their snowmobiles to licensed drivers over the age of twenty-five, so most people would already know what was what, but she guessed the resort was probably legally required to make these rules clear, so there could be no confusion later.

The final section of the video covered the waiver that Abby and Raven had already signed, so it was even more repetitive than the last, but Abby held on through that too, knowing the resort was probably required to include this part in their video too. Clearly, C.Y.A. was the resort’s policy when it came to potential liability lawsuits, and Abby couldn’t really blame them. Doctors and hospitals carried malpractice insurance to protect themselves against lawsuits; plumbers and electricians and carpenters were all licensed and bonded and insured too. Covering one’s ass was just the way of the world.

Thankfully, when the video was over, it was finally time to get out onto the trails, but Abby and Raven still had to trade in their drivers licenses in order to get the keys to their machines. Naturally, that was just another way the resort protected itself, this time against damage or theft of their property, but at least that was a simple process. They handed over their I.D.’s with a smile, and the clerk at the desk handed them their keys and helmets in exchange, along with an individually-wrapped sanitizing wipe to use on the inside of their helmets. With her chemo-compromised immune system, Abby very much appreciated that little precaution, and she made sure to scrub every inch of her helmet before she put it on. She smiled as Raven followed suite, appreciating that Raven took the extra precaution as well.

One of the resort’s trail guides was waiting for them when they made their way outside, and Abby smiled again as he escorted Raven over to her machine, explaining that they’d reserved that specific one just for her. Most of the snowmobiles that they owned had both hand and foot controls, but Abby had prearranged for Raven to use a different model, one that had all its controls up on the handlebars. The trail guide started to politely explain how everything worked, but Raven just slung her leg up over the seat and started the snowmobile right up. He obviously didn’t know that Raven could crank any engine that ran on gasoline, but at least, he was polite about being shown up too. He just chuckled as he said, “Well then… Enjoy your day, ladies,” and waved as they pulled away.

Driving the snowmobile was a lot like riding a motorcycle, only with more stability, and Abby had some experience with motorcycles now, having taken a class or two that Anya had taught. As a matter of fact, Abby made a mental note to tell Anya about this place so that she and Octavia and Lincoln could enjoy it as well. Of course, she didn’t think about Anya for long though, the countryside surrounding the resort soon drove any other thoughts from Abby’s head.

The views were, in a word, breathtaking; powdery white, snow-covered mountain slopes and brilliantly blue, glacier-fed lakes, and unbridled wilderness as far as the eye could see. And, if the views were spectacular, then the wildlife they saw really jump-started Abby’s heart. They watched a family of moose snuffle their way through the snow to get to the frozen grasses underneath. They saw a pair of eagles swooping down through a valley looking for their next meal, and then, they nearly got up close and personal with a mother black bear and her yearling cub.

Without a doubt, the only thing that kept them from being a meal for those bears was the sound of Abby’s engine revving. One gruff growl from her machine and that momma bear paused her attack, clearly startled by the brash, foreign sound. The distraction gave Abby and Raven enough time to get turned around and head the other way, but when Abby looked back over her shoulder, she was sure those bears were actually going to chase them.

Luckily, the momma only made five or six strides before she stopped, but Abby got the message loud and clear; something along the lines of, ‘Stay the hell away from my daughter!’ That was feeling Abby could understand; she’d been prepared to do a lot more than rev her engine if that bear had kept coming. Naturally, she was glad she hadn’t had to sacrifice herself so that Raven could get away, but she knew she wouldn’t have hesitated if it came down to that.

At the first opportunity, Abby flagged down one of the resort’s trail guides, thinking she should probably tell someone what had happened. The guide, Ben, seemed sort of familiar, but with adrenaline still coursing through her veins, Abby just couldn’t place him. He seemed a little self-conscious as he told them that he’d make sure that section of the trail was closed for the rest of the day, but he commended Abby for her reaction to the bears too, laughing a little bit as he said, “Good thinking, revving your engine like that… I bet old momma wasn’t expecting a little thing like you to growl so loud.”

Coming from anyone, a comment like that would bristle Abby’s alpha, but coming from another alpha, one who was easily over six-feet tall and built like a whiskey barrel, Abby struggled hard not to take offense. Instead, she tried to chuckle along with him as she replied, “Well, she’s not the only one with a cub to protect.” Under his lashes, Ben glanced over at Raven then, nodding at her as he gave her his congratulations. Raven blushed too as she thanked him, obviously not sure how to react to such kind words from a stranger, an alpha stranger at that, but Abby smoothed over the awkwardness when she added, “This one’s our third, actually. We’ve got twin boys, Nick and Jake. They’re staying with some friends, so we could _get away_ for the weekend.”

Understanding quickly crossed Ben’s face, but he still sputtered a little bit as he replied, “Oh, well, I won’t keep you then, but just… stop by the rental desk on your way back to the lodge. I’ll call ahead and let them know to give you a pair of passes for tomorrow… consider it an early shower gift.”

As unnecessary as that was, Abby wasn’t about to turn him down. The daily passes were so expensive that Abby hadn’t even thought about booking them for a second day, and if Ben wanted to use his influence to get them a free set, then Abby was all for it. Of course, they still did the little two-step dance around it, Abby politely saying, “That’s really not necessary,” only for Ben to talk over her a bit as he replied, “Please, I insist.” Abby’s pride wouldn’t let her back down just yet, but Ben seemed like the persistent sort, pushing on before Abby could respond, saying, “Honestly, the resort gives us free passes all the time, and I’ve got two that are gonna expire on Monday. At least if I give them to you two, then somebody will get to use them… feels like such a waste otherwise.”

Put like that, Abby couldn’t do anything but smile as she said, “Well, in that case, we’d be happy to have them.” Raven seemed to have recovered herself a little bit by then too, echoing Abby’s words, but her voice still seemed sort of meek and unsure. Abby didn’t know if Raven was still feeling worked up after their interaction with the bears, or if it was something else, but she decided not to mention it until they got back to the resort. She knew that trying to talk something like that out in public was never a good idea.

Not surprisingly, once they were back inside the safety of their room, Raven tried to deny any awkwardness on her part, but with the look that Abby gave her, she soon caved, rambling as she tried to explain, “It’s just… You didn’t actually— You didn’t rev your engine to scare off the bears… You just— you just fucking _growled_ at them!” By that point, Raven was panting, making her next words harder to understand, but Abby caught most of it. Evidently, that gruff growl that Abby heard had come from her own chest instead of the machine she’d been sitting on, and clearly, that sound had _done things_ to Raven. Then, she’d made Raven stand there and make nice with some stranger, an alpha stranger, while she was painfully turned on.

With the way Raven pushed Abby back towards their bed, it was obvious that Raven was still just as aroused, but Abby didn’t complain. In fact, she couldn’t; not with Raven’s teeth digging into her bottom lip, pulling on it almost to the point of pain. Raven’s removal of their clothing was just as aggressive, her hands tugging and tearing at the zippers and snaps that held their snow suits together. Raven didn’t slow down once they were naked either, growling herself as she shoved Abby down onto the bed.

The whirlwind slowed for a moment, as Raven paused to stare down at her, but Abby knew she was just taking a second to build the suspense before she crumbled into the floor at the edge of the bed. Raven’s teeth left a few stinging spots along Abby’s inner thighs then, but Raven didn’t linger there for long. Soon, Abby felt those teeth scraping against the root of her clit instead.

Already sensitive and swollen, Abby couldn’t stop the way she cried out, shouting loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but when Raven’s lips wrapped around her clit too, Abby couldn’t really care about the noise complaint they would be getting later. The scouring suction that followed made Abby shout even louder anyway, her voicing straining as she called out, “Rae— Fu-ck!”

The expletive seemed to spur Raven on, and soon, Abby felt Raven’s tongue dancing over the tip of her clit as well. If she hadn’t been so overwhelmed the pattern probably would have made Abby laugh, but as it was, she barely made it through the third letter before she felt her breath hitch in her chest. Raven’s hands dug into her hips as the rest of her body hitched up too, and that grounding grip felt like the only thing holding Abby to the earth as the rest of her floated away.

It was a long time before she came back down too, drifting for several long moments as the tide of Raven’s fire finally began to ebb. Scouring suction slowly turned to sloppy smooches, and that teasing tongue slurped and swept over her like Raven was trying to her clean. Of course, when Raven finally pulled away her face was still a mess, but the way she was grinning told Abby that she couldn’t care less. In fact, Raven looked rather proud of herself, and honestly, with good reason; Abby hadn’t come that quickly, or that hard, in a long time. And, if the look in Raven’s eyes was anything to go by, Abby’s first orgasm wasn’t going to be her only one that night.

~~~

Since the moment Abby had suggested they take their little trip, Raven had been planning a surprise of her own, and after the day they’d had, she thought it might be the perfect time to put her plan into action. With how worked up she was, she hoped she could still be delicate about how she brought it up, but Raven had a feeling that when Abby saw what she’d brought for them, the need for discussion would quickly disappear.

The thing was, Raven had been pretty much insatiable the first time she’d been pregnant, and the second time around was turning out to be just as intense. And, Abby, bless her, she was still recovering from her surgery, and the chemo treatments continued to wipe her out for days at a time; it was understandable that she was having trouble _keeping up._ Add in a certain level of lingering self-consciousness, and even a few orgasms that grew into anxiety attacks, and it was no wonder that Raven was feeling a little frustrated. That’s not to say that Raven wasn’t appreciative of the efforts Abby was making, she just wished they were both having an easier time connecting like that. Of course, she also wished she hadn’t accidently let her situation slip to Octavia.

They hadn’t even been talking about sex at the time either; Raven had been rambling about something totally unrelated, but then, she’d stubbed her toe on the corner of the bed, and totally overreacted about it. While she was screaming and cursing, Octavia asked if she was alright, and Raven blurted out, “Yeah, just fucking stubbed my fucking toe… not exactly what I meant when I woke up hoping I’d get _slammed_ against the bed today…”

After a hearty chuckle, the advice Raven got in return was unexpectedly profound, but at the same time, it definitely wasn’t something she needed to know about Octavia’s sex life, and Anya’s role in it. Still, Octavia’s casual reply of, “Well… Have you ever thought about getting Abby a strap?” caught Raven by surprise. In fact, she was so dumbfounded by the idea that she didn’t have the capacity to stop Octavia before she added, “I mean, Anya wears hers like it’s actually a part of her body… Not that I’m complaining, God, No… Not Complaining. It’s just… she always seems so powerful, you know, with this honking shaft hanging between her legs, knowing she’s gonna make it me take every inch of it before she lets me come…”

_Fuck._ Just thinking about that conversation sent a shiver crawling over Raven’s skin, making her feel uneasy all over again. Octavia and Anya and Lincoln were adults and whatever they choose to do in their bedroom was obviously consensual, and perfectly valid besides; it just made Raven a little squicky to think about Octavia, someone she thought of like a little sister, getting railed every night by some big domineering alpha. The fact that Anya had finally ‘made an honest woman’ out of Octavia helped with the ick factor, but Raven still felt clammy about it anyway.

Blotting Octavia and Anya and Lincoln out of her mind wasn’t too hard though; not when there were other _hard_ things she could be thinking about. Abby was still recovering from her first orgasm, slumped back on the bed, legs spread and chest heaving. There was a little trickle of sweat running down her stomach too, and Raven couldn’t help but reach up to catch it, smiling as she rubbed the drop in between her fingers. The light graze of her finger obviously caught Abby’s attention though, and as she pushed up onto to her elbows, Raven gently asked, “How you feeling? Do you need to rest a while, or do you wanna _keep going_?”

Her sultry tone seemed to make Abby more aware as well, her hazy eyes clearing quickly, lighting up with barely suppressed excitement. Her smile was just as eager too, when she huskily replied, “for you… I could go all night.”

Chuckling, Raven braced her hands on the bed so she could push herself up onto the balls of her feet. She knew, at some point, she was going to need to lock her brace; at least, if they were gonna do what she had in mind. Still, she felt stable enough for the moment, so she hovered over Abby as she retorted, “Oh, don’t I know it.” She paused there, to press a few kisses to Abby’s sweaty stomach, but when she felt Abby’s breath hitch, she pulled back to say, “I— I bought something special for us, but I need you to go get it… can you do that for me?” Abby’s nodded response was almost comical, her head swaying heavily on her shoulders, but Raven just smiled wider as she continued, “It’s in the bathroom, in the front pouch of my bag. I think you’ll know it when you see it…”

In her rush to get up, Abby’s enthusiasm nearly sent them both toppling to the floor, but Raven sighed as their bodies pressed together, enjoying the feeling of Abby’s sweat rubbing into her skin. The contact, however brief, was unexpectedly intense, but when Abby pulled away and slipped into the bathroom, Raven pulled herself together too. First, before she fell over for real, she reached down and re-locked her brace in its upright position. Then, she grabbed a couple of pillows from up near the headboard and repositioned them on top of each other along the edge of the bed. Bending over the lump she’d made, Raven wasn’t quite satisfied, so she grabbed another pillow and settled it long ways against the other two, making an upside down ‘T.’

Leaning over all three of them felt good; the double set forced her hips up higher than her waist, but the long pillow gave her some of her lost leverage back. Just being in that sort of position made Raven feel incredible, safe and vulnerable all at once, but she knew that Abby would appreciate the visual she was creating even more; that is, if she ever came back from the bathroom. As one minute became two, Raven began to wonder if sending Abby in there alone was such a good idea. Those two minutes slowly multiplied into four, every second dragging by, but then, Raven heard a couple of loud thumps and a soft curse. Worrying that Abby might have hurt herself, Raven started to get up to go check on her, but when the door to the bathroom suddenly opened, she froze.

Then, there was Abby, in almost all her glory. The underwear harness she wore covered part way down her thighs and half-way up to her waist, but it was snug enough that Raven didn’t have a hard time imagining the flesh underneath. The ‘honking shaft’ that she’d bought with the harness was more girth than length, for obvious reasons, but there was no denying the stunning silhouette it cut against Abby’s hips. Indeed, Raven moaned at just the sight of it, but when Abby’s hand wrapped around the base and squeezed, she nearly lost her voice entirely. She could already see wetness clinging to the tip, and as Abby’s hand slid upwards, it seemed the rest was slick as well. Raven hadn’t packed any lube, she’d known they wouldn’t need it, but as Abby moved closer to her, that mystery quickly solved itself.

Still, all Raven could do was stare as Abby’s free hand drifted under the waistband of the harness. Her mouth gaped open further when Abby brought her hand back out, all shiny and glistening. When Abby took over stroking herself with that hand instead, Raven found her voice long enough to whimper, but once Abby was within touching distance, the sound got caught in her throat. The silicone was already warm from Abby’s stroking, and slick from Abby’s slick, but when Abby brushed the tip against Raven’s folds for the first time, she felt like she’d been scorched and then soaked by it.

A heated groan followed that first brush, and a few more urgent nudges followed that, but when Abby didn’t immediately sink inside, Raven felt like groaning in frustration. Of course, once the tip of Abby’s shaft zeroed in on her clit instead, she realized she should have known better than to get frustrated so easily. Obviously, Abby was going to give her what she needed, but she certainly wasn’t going to be quick about it. Not that Raven really wanted quick to begin with, but when Abby teased her like that, Raven couldn’t help but want more.

Eventually, more came, and then some, but it was only after Raven was drawn tight and shivering that Abby moved her shaft back down to press at her entrance again. By that point, the silicone felt hot enough to melt Raven’s insides, and as Abby’s pushed forward the tip sank inside her like a hot knife through butter. The stretch was exactly what Raven wanted, harsh enough to be just on the edge of pain without going over, and once Abby was buried as deep as she could go, the length seemed perfect too, falling just short of her womb. It seemed that Abby wasn’t quite satisfied with that though, her hips jumping forward so that the tip just barely brushed against Raven’s cervix.

The abrupt thrust caught Raven a little off guard, but rather than let it bother her, she moaned instead, hoping the raspy, gruff tone would inspire more thrusts like that one. She got her wish too, as Abby started to set a rhythm, but she only got a in few rough, rocky pushes before she groaned and slowed down again. Naturally, Raven worried something was wrong, but then Abby said, “S-sorry… it’s just a lot…”

With that explanation, it was hard to figure out what Abby was referring to; the base of the silicone was shaped so that Abby had something to rub up against, so it made sense that she was a little overwhelmed at the start. That didn’t mean Raven wasn’t nearly slavering for more of those rough thrusts, but she could be patient; at least for a little while longer. She still almost screamed when Abby started to pull out, but that was mostly because Abby filled her again in a quick, crude rush, growling as she sank inside again.

A pair of strong hands gripped onto Raven’s hips then, squeezing possessively as Abby pulled out once more. The anticipation of the next thrust was almost too much, and Raven did end up screaming when Abby shifted her angle and pushed forward again. The tip of the shaft slammed against her front wall, forcing the already swollen tissue to swell further, and as Abby continued to drive into that spot, Raven felt like she was swelling all over. Despite how wonderful that felt, Raven was determined not to let Abby do all the work, so she tightened her own grip on the sheets. The extra leverage made it easy for her to rock back in time with Abby’s pitching hips, taking them both higher in the process.

By that point, Abby’s groans were non-stop, getting louder with each thrust and Raven wasn’t far behind her; her voice already straining from the constant whimpering moans that were escaping her throat. Her noises seemed to spur Abby on, as they always did, and somewhere in throes of it, Raven tried to spur her on even more, hushing out, “that’s- that’s it— fuck— That’s— It!" As Raven screamed the last word, Abby slammed in and stayed there, her hips pushing forward again almost desperately, even though there was no where else for her to go. Abby went stiff against Raven’s ass too, groaning lowly as she started to crash over the edge.

Of course, Raven wasn’t immune to Abby’s noises either and it seemed that throaty groan was exactly what she needed to follow Abby into oblivion. She hadn’t even started to come down when one of Abby’s hands seemed to slip off of her sweat-slicked hip. It briefly landed beside her on the bed, but Raven didn’t get a chance to miss the contact before that hand had slipped up under her body instead. Oblivion seemed to stretch on forever then, as Abby’s fingers pinched and pulled at her clit, but Raven was too far gone to even think about objecting to the rough treatment. As it was, she came that much harder because of it, her orgasm stretching out so long she felt like she’d come at least three times before it was over.

Still, even after her insides had stopped milking for more, Abby didn’t pull out. No, Abby had collapsed on top of Raven instead. Not that Raven minded the prolonged contact, but after a while, she felt like if Abby didn’t pull out soon, she wasn’t going to be able to walk the next day. She wouldn’t need to do much, because they were going to be spending most of the next day exploring more of the lodge’s snowmobile trails, but riding that machine all day was only going to get more uncomfortable as time went on. Raven tried squirming a little bit, trying to subtly suggest that Abby get off her, but she had to resort to calling Abby’s name a few times before she got anywhere. Even then, Abby was slow to move, barely able to brace herself against the bed long enough to pull out.

A tide of wetness followed Abby’s departure, trickling all the way down Raven’s knee. Most of it was Raven’s own slick, but she was pretty sure Abby had left a mess against her thighs too. That was alright though; after a few minutes, Abby rallied long enough for them to shower together. In the bathroom, they settled into an easy silence, communicating through soft touches and grabby hands, but once they were back in bed, Abby finally broke that easy silence, as she said, “So, are you sure that surprise was for me? Because it seems like you enjoyed it almost more than I did…”

That drew a tiny chuckle from Raven, the playful tone inspiring her to be playful too as she replied, “Oh, I beg to differ, Abs… I saw the state of those briefs when you took them off.” Abby had the decency to blush at that, because really, there was no arguing with the stain Abby had left behind, but Raven just let that inspire her further, driving her point home as she added, “I mean, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you wet yourself.”

A round of tickling followed that jab, and by the time Abby was done, Raven was panting all over again, but when Abby cleared her throat, Raven tried to reign herself in. Then, Raven was treated to some of the sweetest words Abby had ever spoken to her, as Abby said, “What can I say? Finding you bent over the bed like that, you’re lucky I didn’t come the second I stepped back into the room.”

Crude as that was, Abby’s tone made it sound like the best kind of compliment and Raven couldn’t help but return the sentiment when she replied, “You’re not the only one, babe. Seeing you working yourself up like that was _hands-down_ the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

It was Abby’s turn to chuckle then, but it was only for a moment before she huskily said, “Good to know I’ve still got it.”

Raven was quick to join Abby too, laughing as she added, “and then some, Abs… and then some.” The quiet that followed that was easy too, but eventually, Raven started to feel a little restless. Abby seemed alright with what they’d just done, but since they hadn’t talked about it before, she figured she should at least bring it up afterwards, so she added, “So, you’re, uh, good with _that,_ right? I mean, I know I ‘surprised’ you, but I just wanna make sure I didn’t cross a line I shouldn’t have.”

Abby remained quiet for a moment more, clearly organizing her answer, but eventually, she replied, “You did surprise me, and sure, I was confused at first, but I figured I owed you enough to at least try it on… Then, I just felt silly, that _thing_ hanging down there. Once I looked in the mirror though, I— I saw the _appeal_.” The sultry way Abby said that made Raven shudder, remembering the sight of Abby standing in the bathroom doorway, stroking herself in a shady silhouette, but Aby only paused long enough to take in a breath before she continued, “Obviously, I tried to… get familiar with it before I came out, but I guess I wasn’t quite ready for how good it would feel.” There was a little hesitation in Abby’s voice then, like she was trying to figure out what she was trying to say, but she pressed on after another second, adding, “And, it felt good… god, like ‘stars in my eyes’ good, you know?”

The cliched expression made Raven smirk, but she certainly couldn’t argue with the sentiment behind it; truth be told, she hadn’t come that hard in weeks, maybe months. She knew that Abby already knew she felt that way too, but it didn’t hurt to tell her either, so Raven cupped Abby’s cheek as she said, “Fireworks, babe… Fireworks.” That earned her a smile in return, but it was short lived, as Abby’s face contorted into a wide yawn. Raven’s brain took that yawn and ran with it, forcing her to take in a big gasp of her own, but when she recovered, she added, “Let’s get some sleep, huh? We’ve got another big day of riding tomorrow.”

Once Abby’s face settled again, this time into a satisfied smirk, Raven knew she’d just walked into it, but she still, she smiled as well, as Abby nonchalantly replied, “In that case, maybe I should see if the house crew does laundry…”

Cheesy as it was, the insinuation was so blatant that Raven didn’t even have to think about it before she said, “Yeah, maybe you should…”

As expected, the next day was a bit rough. Raven’s hips felt bruised and sore, and her lower back felt tight and tender. Thankfully, after an hour or so, she started to loosen up a little, but it seemed Abby just felt worse as the day went on. By lunch time, she was begging to go back to the lodge, so they could cuddle and drink cocoa by the fireplace in the lobby, and Raven definitely wasn’t opposed, so as long as the café had white mocha. The caffeine in a cup of regular cocoa wouldn’t be that bad, but if she could avoid it, she would.

It turned out the café had several options when it came to caffeine free drinks, including a hot, vanilla-flavored drink that was topped with fresh whipped cream and a salted caramel sauce. When the drink was finished, it looked so good that Abby actually changed her order halfway through it being made so she could have one too. The lobby was big enough that they didn’t have any problem finding a loveseat to hide away on, and that’s how they spent the rest of the afternoon, cuddling and cooing together as the world simply passed them by.

They settled for a light dinner at one of the lodge’s restaurants, the more causal of the two, but it was obvious they were both more interested in getting back to their room than they were in eating dinner. When they rushed up their room, twenty minutes after they’d sat down to eat, they both smiled when they found a little pile of clean clothes waiting for them on the end of their freshly made bed. Naturally, Abby’s new briefs were only clean for about three minutes before she and Raven were spoiling them again, but when Abby pulled her down by her hips, forcing her take entire the thick shaft in one, quick rush, Raven didn’t really have the headspace to think about soiled drawers. In fact, even when they were done, all she could manage was, “wow, babe… just wow…” before she promptly passed out.

Sadly, their little vacation was over the next day, and they had to go back to their regular lives the day after that, but with one exception; they made sure they had time to use of those new briefs at least twice a week. Once they were bit more familiar with this _new_ part of their sex lives, Raven finally asked if she could go down on Abby while she had them on, just to see if she could make Abby come that way. It wasn’t quite the same as feeling Abby spill down her throat, but the grip in her hair and the ache in her jaw made Raven ridiculously wet anyway. She was rewarded for her services too, when Abby quickly turned the tables on her, pinning her down to the bed by her hips and then pumping inside her until she screamed.

Of course, with Nick and Jake, just downstairs, Raven had muffle to her screams as best she could, but even with her face pressed into the side of Abby’s neck, there was only so much she could do. Thankfully, after a full day at school, and basketball game after that, it seemed the twins were down for the night. That didn’t mean Abby didn’t try her best to wake them anyway, pulling another three screaming orgasms from Raven before they finally down for the night too.

Things went on like that for another few weeks, lulling Raven into a peaceful sort of rhythm, filled with good food, and good friends, and good sex. So, needless to say, it was quite the surprise when Abby’s last chemo treatment just snuck up on her. She didn’t think much of it when Abby came home a little shell-shocked that day; she knew that chemo made Abby feel spacey sometimes. Indeed, it wasn’t until they were halfway through dinner that Abby finally said, “I just can’t believe that was the last one, you know?”

Raven felt a bit stupid then, realizing she should have done something so they could celebrate, but with how out-of-sorts Abby seemed, she thought maybe her forgetfulness was a blessing in disguise. Still, she felt bad, so she said, “To be honest, I kinda forgot that was today…” Her honesty earned her a soft smile from Abby, and a round of chuckling from the twins, but she continued on with her apology, adding, “Sorry, I should have thrown you a party or something.”

Abby laughed at that, her smile widening until it crinkled the corners of her eyes. Her teeth flashed for a moment too, as she replied, “That’s ok, love… we can celebrate next week after my follow-up with Dr. Snider.” The reminder of that looming over them shifted that tone back towards the drain, but Raven tried to keep her chin up, if only for Nick and Jake’s peace of mind. When she looked over and saw their hopeful, innocent smiles, a fake smile spread easily across her own lips. Raven had a feeling she’d be doing that a lot over the coming week.

And, like so many other weeks before it, time seemed drag and drag as Abby’s appointment approached, but eventually, Raven found herself standing outside an anonymous imaging suite, waiting for Abby’s MRI to be over. It was torture, watching Dr. Snider through the monitoring room’s window, as she poured over the images that popped up on her computer screen. Every minute spent waiting felt worth it though, when Dr. Snider finally turned towards Raven, with the widest sort of smile on her face.

With Abby’s cancer officially in remission, Raven’s days grew peaceful again, filled with more food and friends and family, but once she entered her third trimester, the restlessness started to set in again. She wasn’t restricted to bedrest yet, but Raven knew it was coming. Just getting to Dr. Walker’s office for a check-up wore Raven out, and she’d even gotten winded a couple of times just sitting on the couch. The massive size of her belly wasn’t helping with that; although, it wasn’t nearly as big as it had been when she’d been pregnant with the twins. Still, the way her little _bun_ laid against her diaphragm made her wheezy sometimes, and even when the babe was turned the other way, Raven felt the pressure all the same.

During week thirty-four, Raven’s existence finally narrowed to the four walls of her bedroom, but by week thirty-six, that didn’t seem to be enough. Her feet were so swollen she could barely walk on them, only being able to stand it long enough to make it to the bathroom, and when she went in for her check-up that week, her blood pressure was through the roof. The nurse was only gone for a few minutes before Dr. Walker came rushing in, immediately suggesting they move up Raven’s C-Section. Abby agreed just as quickly, and Raven didn’t question it either; the second Dr. Walker mentioned, “preeclampsia,” Raven knew how serious things had become.

So, that afternoon, Raven found herself inside an anonymous imaging suite of her own, watching as the tech waved an ultrasound wand over her belly. She and Abby had decided earlier on that they wanted to be surprised when the baby came, so she didn’t dare look at the monitor that was attached, afraid she’d catch a glimpse of something she shouldn’t. In less than an hour, it wouldn’t matter either way, but Raven felt like it was more the principle of the thing by that point anyway.

Being awake for the C-section was a bit gross, and definitely awkward, but when Dr. Walker finally laid that baby across her chest, Raven could barely contain her emotions. The babe was six pounds, eight ounces of trembling, sticky, blue skin, but Raven didn’t think she’d ever seen anything more beautiful. There was dark wispy hair, and warm chocolate eyes. There were Abby’s cheeks and Raven’s nose. There were two parted lips and loud, powerful cries. There were even ten little fingers and ten little toes. She was Delilah Rose Griffin-Reyes, and she was perfect; in fact, _everything was just perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear friends,
> 
> Unfortunately, this is probably the end for this series. I have loved writing it, and I've loved reading everyone's comments on it. I have spent countless hours, writing and editing and proofing. I've laughed, and cried, and been everywhere in between, but I'm just not ready to mark this series as completed (not officially, anyway). I'm gonna leave it open for a while, see if anything else comes to me, but in the mean time, I'll be over in the Wynonna Earp universe for the next few months. Come check it out if you get the chance.
> 
> Until next time... Much Love and Stay Strong!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you thought, either in the comments here, or over on my Tumblr (that I admittedly look at every day, but never actually post anything to). After being out of work for the last eight months, and essentially losing my entire career to Covid, I need all the happy thoughts I can get these days.


End file.
